The Father's Sons
by sss979
Summary: This is complex, so it's hard to summarize. Let's just say it's a frighteningly intense character exploration.
1. Prologue

****

PART ONE

WARNING: (Since they put these on movies now, I figured I'd best put it on this.) PARTS OF THIS STORY MAY BE PAINFUL FOR 9-11/MURRAH BOMBING SUVIVORS OR FAMILIES OF VICTIMS. 

This is cartoon based. It's an intense character exploration that came to me when I had a revelation - that Hamato Yoshi lived a _lifetime _before he ever came to America. There's some reference to the events in the first movie, but it's not the basis so don't take it too literally. 

Anyhow, enjoy.

PROLOGUE

April 3, 1974

HAMATO YOSHI:

I leaned forward on the table, my head hung between my shoulder blades. Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes, though I willed them away. I knew I did not have very long here; for they would surely search for me at my own house first. If they found me, they very well might kill me. My banishment from the foot clan was not enough for Takahashi-sensei's students, who did not take kindly to threats against their teacher. Anything I could say in my defense was lost in the commotion that anger and confusion created.

"_Sensei_?"

I turned toward the man in the doorway. He was taller than I, and much younger. He had yet to reach the age of twenty, and had only been my student for a short while. "_Ohayo _Hiroshi," I whispered, looking away again. He had heard rumors of the morning's events, but had not been at the _ryu_ earlier. The rumors prodded him to come to my house, but I was still unsure as to how I would explain what had happen to my newest, and perhaps less trusting student. 

"Are you not well?" he questioned, his face lined with concern. "You look distressed."

"_Hai_," I whispered. "Hiroshi-san, I am distressed."

He stepped into the room. "What troubles you?"

I breathed deeply. My stomach churned in sickening realization of what was happening. It was too much to accept all at once. A part of me recognized that my life was going to change drastically. But to a much larger part of my being, such a thing seemed strangely impossible.

A knock at the front door brought my thoughts to a close. I tensed. Surely they could not be here yet. I had counted on an hour of safety at least. Then, I did not know where I would go. To the streets, perhaps. And yet I knew that I would never be safe in Japan. I would never be totally safe, anywhere in the world. But certainly not in my own country. 

"Hiroshi-san, would you please answer that?" I directed.

He bowed politely, and backed out of the room. I stayed frozen still, waiting for indication of who was calling on me. I had plenty of escape routes from this room, but I did not want to run if there was no danger. I heard the door open, and conversation was exchanged in muffled, but not threatening tones. I opened the door slightly, and saw shadows against the wall. "_Go-sensei wa irasshaimasu ka?_"

I closed my eyes and exhaled a full breath of air. I knew his voice, and I could only imagine what he wanted. "_Hai, imasu_."

I stepped back from the door, and my eyes ran over the contents of the room. I walked to the dresser, to a carefully placed set of _nunchakus_. Surely he would not come to my house to challenge me, but I did not wish to take the risk.

The door opened again, and Hiroshi bowed. "Okoku Saki-san is here to see you," he informed. I nodded slightly. "He wishes to speak with you alone."

I nodded again, in approval. "Show him in," I guided. "But do not leave the house; I must speak with you."

"_Hai, Sensei_."

He backed away, and I faced the door as another familiar figure stepped into the gap. "You wear your weapons around your neck?" he laughed, nodding toward the _nunchaku _over my shoulders. The chain was cold against the back of my neck, and either handle was easily accessible. 

"I pose no threat to you, so long as you come in peace," I warned.

He laughed. "Yoshi-san, you are a fool. If I wished to kill you, you would be dead."

"What do you want from me, Oroku-san?" I demanded, anger washing over me. "You have disgraced my name and destroyed my life, what more could you hope to gain?"

He considered that for a moment. "Why, Yoshi, you speak as if you have nothing more to give," he chuckled.

"Would you steal the breath from my lungs?" I challenged. "You shame my reputation and send me away with nothing; what more do I have that you want?"

An evil smile answered me. He remained silent for a moment, and turned to the window. "Do you know, I have spent _years_ under you. Under _your _authority, and _your _rules, and _your _teaching, all the while knowing that someday..." He turned back to me and I tensed instinctively. "... one of us would be forced to destroy the other."

I stared at the man who had betrayed me. What more did he want? In a few hours, I would be alone, homeless, fleeing for my life. We would never meet again. Surely he did not think I would try to challenge his leadership! Though it burned the depths of my soul to think that he would assume control of my students, I knew that I would never regain my position, whether or not I removed Oroku Saki. What could he possibly hope to gain from a battle? I choked back the desire to relent: to give him the battle he asked for, and take his life. Every fiber of my being wanted to end his existence at this very moment, to destroy him as he had destroyed me.

"I do not wish to fight you, Saki," I informed. "You have gained total control of the foot clan. Let that satisfy your hunger for power. Let me be."

"I will not."

Anger boiled in my blood, surging through my veins with vicious hunger. Though I could never reassume my role as _shido-shin_ of the foot clan, I could certainly end _his _stay in _my _rightful position. I forced the fury into submission, but I could still hear it taint my voice. "You will never rest, will you?" I snapped. "You will never be satisfied for as long as you know I can still beat you!"

"You can not," Saki challenged.

"I _will _not," I corrected him. "But I have proven time and time again that I am perfectly capable."

He laughed. "Oh, Yoshi, who are you fooling?" he chuckled, patronizing me. "Your age is showing. How do you think I was able to beat you in the first place?"

"You never beat me," I reminded him, "unless I allowed it. Every form and maneuver you know, you have learned from me. And you would _never _defeat me in a real battle."

He shook his head slightly. "The will of a stubborn child," he patronized, "but the body of an old man." I glared at him. "You may well run now. I cannot force you to fight. But is it not more honorable to stand your ground now, and die with some small part of your dignity intact, than to run and be hunted like an animal by my foot clan?"

The threat meant nothing to me. The insinuation meant nothing. This man knew nothing of honor. However, if he saw fit to threaten me, perhaps it would be wise to put the issue into perspective. "If I were to focus my attention on another student, Oroku Saki... even at my age... I could teach him in my remaining years all that he would need to know to defeat you and every student you would ever teach."

He considered that, and anger flashed in his eyes as he realized that the threat was valid. I knew he would not admit his realization, but he could not hide it. "You are wrong, Yoshi," Saki growled, stepping closer. "And I will prove it to you, and to your students, and to your children, and to everyone you may someday hold dear to you." I glared at him, ready to strike if he moved. "Hear me now, Hamato Yoshi," he whispered threateningly, "I will _not _be mocked."

I pulled the weapon from my neck and held it firmly. The threat to him was obvious, and he stepped back. "Get out of my house," I ordered. "You are not welcome here."


	2. Legacy

****

LEGACY

August 28, 1995

-16 Hours, 17 Minutes

SPLINTER:

From beneath the streets of New York, I could not see the sun rise. But I felt it, as I awoke slowly, hesitant to leave the quiet realm of sleep. I breathed deep, taking in the damp air around me. The familiar surroundings took shape as I rose slowly. I closed my eyes and evaluated my sleep for a moment. Then I quietly slipped out of bed. It was morning, and I had slept later than usual. I sighed as I walked to the door and pulled it open. The living room was silent and empty. The only noise came from the _dojo_. I walked to the door and stood quietly watching. Their movements were practiced and perfect, totally flawless. I smiled knowingly, recognizing the exercise. It was flawless because it was simple, and because they had been doing it for the past six years.

Leonardo was missing. His absence did not alarm me, but it did seem a bit odd. I wondered where he might be, but said nothing as Michaelangelo and Donatello finished and bowed to each other. Raphael stepped away from the wall, twirling his weapons. "Okay, guys," he grinned. "Freestyle."

He braced as they stepped to either side of him. Michaelangelo saw me, and relaxed. "_Sensei_," he greeted, bowing slightly.

They all turned to me, and I smiled. "Continue," I invited.

They glanced at each other, then resumed their positions. Donatello rushed first, and attempted to hook his _bo _around Raphael's leg. Raphael shifted his weight to his other leg to avoid the attack and caught the weapon between the prongs of his _sai _as it twirled and came toward his upper torso. He turned his focus to Michaelangelo and ducked underneath his attack, turning and backing away. His retreat put them both on one side of him. They could not attack at the same time, or they would get in each other's way.

Michaelangelo sprang first at him. He attacked first at Raphael's neck. The soft foam of the practice _nunchakus_ made a soft thud as they hit the side of Raphael's _sai_. Raphael kicked forward and sent his brother stumbling backward. 

Donatello attacked and Raphael twirled to avoid the thrust aimed at his stomach. He dropped and kicked at Donatello's feet, throwing him off balance just in time to turn to Michaelangelo. He brought his _sai _up and entangled it in the chain of the _nunchaku_, then jerked the weapon aside. Michaelangelo lost his grip. In the second that his opponent was still surprised, Raphael spun and kicked his shoulder. In actual combat, that blow would have connected with his head and possibly snapped his neck with the force of it. As it was, Michaelangelo fell, landing hard against the blue mat.

Raphael turned and caught Donatello's advancing weaponwith one of his own, simultaneously raising his other hand. He jabbed forward, stopping no more than an inch away from Donatello's stomach. Knowing that the killing blow had been made, Donatello stepped back and bowed slightly. Raphael had won. He bowed back, and turned to me. "Take you on, _Sensei_," he suggested, grinning.

I smiled back. "Perhaps later," I agreed.

Michaelangelo pulled himself to his feet and glared at Raphael. "Ow," he complained.

Raphael shoved his weapons into his belt and shrugged at his brother. I studied them for a moment. "Where is Leonardo?" I finally asked.

****

LEONARDO: 

I couldn't give myself a satisfactory answer for how I'd ended up wandering the streets in broad daylight. Ordinarily, I avoided risks like this. Especially if there was no reason for it. And as far as I could tell, there was no reason for it.

I was deep in thought about something, but I forgot what it was in a fraction of a second as I saw the black figures. I froze and immediately looked around to figure out where I was. I had been wandering aimlessly, and wasn't paying attention to where I was going. What was that building they were interested in? It was an orphanage. Why? What did they want there? I slipped instinctively into silent mode.

Clinging to the shadows, I inched closer. "Maybe there's another way to..."

"Man, knock it off," another snapped. "We got our orders and we're gonna do it Shredder's way."

"But... maybe there's another way or somethin', ya know?"

A third figure answered him. "If you don't shut your mothafuckin' trap, I'm gonna kick your ass clear into next week."

"Yeah, you don't have to stay you fuckin' pussy. You can run away if you want."

I waited to hear his decision. There were only five of them. I could take them down in my sleep. But I'd rather he leave, if he had the nerve to... for his own sake.

_Come on, Leo,_ I thought to myself. _Shredder's foot soldiers don't turn back like that. They're too afraid he'll kill them._

A justified fear. Fine. So he wouldn't leave. But he obviously didn't want to be here. _Go easy on him, Leo_.

What did Shredder want with an orphanage? And did these guys even _know_? "I just don't see why we gotta hit all those..."

One of the figures lashed out and pinned the protestor to the wall. He appeared to be the one in charge. "Shut yer fuckin' mouth before I stick my fist in it!"

Subtle. Very _ninja_-like. 

I felt eyes on me before anything was said. "Hey!" I froze, head down. They couldn't see my face under the brim of the hat. Therefore, they didn't know who I was. "Who the fuck are you?"

I didn't answer. I let them come to me, and watched their advance with supernatural eyes, while staring harmlessly at the ground. "Well, whoever you are, you're 'bout to get your ass kicked."

A fist struck forward and I moved aside, grabbing his wrist with lightning reflexes. I pulled hard and drove my knee into his stomach. He fell, but one of his partners produced a set of _sais_. Great. I was going to have to shed the costume, and the element of surprise, to get to my weapons. Maybe I wouldn't need them. I could probably take him empty-handed. That thought was quickly abandoned as a second figure reached for a set of _nunchakus_. Damn. There were only five of them, four still uninjured, but they could _all _be armed. And for that, I would need my weapons.

I darted to the side as they rushed me, and shrugged off the trenchcoat in one smooth, fluid movement. I spun, discarded the hat, and unsheathed the _katanas_ on my back. "Holy shit!"

In the second that I had them off guard, I managed to send two of them to the ground. It was only to temporarily get them out of the way. I knew they'd be back up. I brought my weapons down, toward the figure with the _sais_. He caught them both, surprisingly. I used the momentary distraction while he was reveling in his success, to drive my knee into his groin. I turned as he doubled over, and deflected an attack from one of the _nunchakus_ the other was holding. Taking one last second to sweep the pained foot soldier off his feet, I noted another one behind me, unarmed.

I struck forward, but he caught my weapon with the chain of his. I had to either step aside or push him back. The latter proved easier, as he wasn't able to concentrate on two attacks at once. He deflected a sword strike to his right, while his left hand hung limply at his side. I brought my other blade to his neck, and heard him gasp. I could've easily killed him. Instead, I only knicked his skin and kicked him backward. His head hit the brick wall and he fell, unconscious. 

I spun to the attacker behind me. He was close, and running full-speed at me. I dropped my weapons and fell to my back, using the strength in my legs to throw him over me. He, too, hit the wall, and I sprang to my feet again. Of the two who were still standing, one was the uncertain one. I'd kept an eye on which one he was. Two of them were unconscious. One was on the ground in a substantial amount of pain. I wasn't even breathing hard. Maybe they'd realize that and run. I doubted it.

I was rushed again. I blocked his blows, aimed at my face, and sprang backward to avoid a roundhouse kick. But he was slow, and I took his legs out from under him before he'd regained his balance. He landed hard, and didn't move. I looked up at the remaining figure. We stared at each other for a moment, and he took a few steps back. Then, he turned and ran. Good.

I walked to where I'd left my weapons. They scraped against the pavement with a subtle hiss. I sheathed one of them, and kept the other in hand as I walked to the fallen soldier with the _sais_. I lifted his chin with the tip of my sword. "What are you doing here?" I demanded.

"Fuck you," he snarled.

"I'll ask you one more time."

"You won't kill me, freak."

"You'd better hope not, since I've got a sword at your throat."

"Fuck off."

"Talk."

"No."

I studied him for a moment. I probably _would_ have to kill him to get him to talk. Or at least cause him some serious pain. I wasn't much for torture. And at any rate, it didn't look like they'd done any damage. I lowered my weapon, and glanced up at the building. It was quiet, except for a laugh coming through an open window.

I felt him get up, even though I didn't see it, and tensed instinctively, wondering if he would try and fight me again. He didn't. He turned and ran. I watched him go, and sheathed my weapon. 


	3. America

****

AMERICA

April 15, 1974

HAMATO YOSHI:

The cement hissed at me as I pushed the manhole cover aside and climbed upward. A flash of lightning illuminated the world around me, and for just an instant, I saw New York City as the rest of the world did. Tall buildings reached toward the angry sky as sheets of rain pounded the city streets. This city never quieted, never slept... but the rain was ample persuasion to stay indoors.

Cars swept past, spraying rainwater onto the cement sidewalks. I looked around the darkened alley, not entirely sure what I was looking for. This strange and unfamiliar world was as unforgiving as it was corrupt. There was no one I could turn to for help, but the painful emptiness in my stomach had grown too much to bear. I knew I must find food, or I would die.

I paused as I approached the open street. I did not like such unprotected places. Out there, there was no place to hide, and no way to escape danger. Who could know what danger one would come upon in this new world? I backed away from the city lights, resolving to stay hidden in the shadows.

Over the alley wall I climbed. I slinked through the maze of darkened passages, my eyes darting to anything that moved. The hiss of the rain made it impossible to hear the quiet sounds that might warn of danger, and nearly impossible to see. I was forced to rely on my other senses.

Out of the quiet blackness, I heard a voice speaking. They spoke in English, of which I comprehended very little. Even had I been fluent in the language, I could never have understood the words over the storm. I paused, and considered walking in the other direction. But as I turned, something inside of me rebelled. Sighing against the feelings that I could not identify nor control, I walked toward the voice. 

It was a man. His tone was angry and threatening. He stood over a smaller figure, pressed into the shadow of the alleyway. I cocked my head slightly to the side as I watched the scene. She spoke, her voice quiet and meek. He responded in a yell, and she cowered, crouching back as if to make herself small. They engaged in conversation using a universal form of communication. The language of fear was unmistakeable, regardless of one's culture. 

I watched as the rain pounded his massive shoulders, and dripped from his hair. He breathed in, and his fury-filled eyes blinked. He exhaled angry words, as a stream of venom from his lips. She pleaded. His hand moved to his belt. I felt every nerve in my body stand on edge as he pulled back a black object, glistening in the rain. He held it toward her, and it clicked as he readied it. She closed her eyes in defeat and bowed her head as a single tear trickled down her cheek, mingling with the rain.

I acted out of instinct, and some primal urge to protect. A part of me recognized that their dispute was not my concern. But a much larger part could not deny the silent plea that her soul had emitted, whether to me or to God, that she might be spared from whatever punishment she had earned. Perhaps it was no punishment at all. Perhaps it was a primitive sort of terrorism that he fed on. It did not greatly matter to me. 

My body flew into action, requiring no assistance from my mind. Reflex actions guided me and my hands became weapons. As my weapon clashed with his, there was a loud, piercing explosion. For a fraction of a second, I was disarmed as pain radiated through me. Pushing aside the instinctive urge to retreat, I struck a nerve cluster on the inside of his arm. He cried out in pain, dropping the gun. As it began to fall, I spun and kicked the side of his head, likely deafening him in his right ear. He crashed to the alley floor at the same instant the gun did.

I retreated quickly and silently, back to the shadows, where I watched the awestruck figure still on her knees. When she looked around, she saw nothing but darkness. Though I could not clearly see her face, I could see that she was not an American. I studied her closely, well aware that she could not see me, as she tried to get to her feet. As she pulled herself up, her leg gave way and she collapsed again in tears, clutching her ankle.

I felt hot blood trickle down my arm toward my fingers, but dared not move. I remained in silence as she tried again to raise herself. Again, she failed. She lay on the alley floor, staring at the unconscious figure beside her. She reached for his weapon with trembling fingers, and clutched it close to her. "Help," she said quietly. Then louder. She turned her head toward the cloud covered sky. "Help!"

I did not know the word, but I knew what it meant. I looked to see if someone would help her. There was no movement in the surrounding area. "Help!"

Forcing aside caution, I stepped forward, out of the shadows. She gasped and turned the gun toward me. I froze as her hand trembled around it, but she was no threat. Slowly, I held out a hand to her. "Help," I repeated.

She lowered the gun slowly, and spoke to me in English. I stared at her, wishing I could understand her words. I said nothing, and stepped closer. "Help," I said again, offering her a hand.

She set the gun down hesitantly and gripped my hand. I pulled her up slowly, and she struggled to find her balance on one foot. She very nearly did not succeed, and fell forward into me. She gasped as she pulled away in shocked horror. "Sorry!" she cried. "I... sorry."

I smiled, understanding very little of what she said to me. But it was enough. "Sorry," I repeated.

She looked up at me. For the first time, I saw her clearly. She was not a child, perhaps thirty-five years of age, with dark hair and eyes. Her features were distinctly Japanese, and a spark of hope flickered somewhere inside of me. "_Nihongo ga hanasemasu ka_?"

Her eyes lit up. "_Hai,_" she answered.

Surprised and elated to hear my native tongue, I smiled broadly and bowed in greeting. "I am Hamato Yoshi," I introduced.

She gripped my shoulder for support. "My name is Sakura," she answered. "And I do not mean to be impolite, but I am afraid I might fall if I attempt to bow."

I laughed quietly. "It is okay. I understand."

She attempted to put weight on her ankle, and recoiled in pain. "You are hurt," I observed.

"_Hai_," she answered. "And so are you." I glanced for the first time at my arm, and saw the bullet wound. "You should go to the hospital," she advised.

I sighed. "I have no money to afford such treatment."

"Nor do I," she agreed. "But perhaps we could help each other."

I smiled. "_Hai_. Help." She laughed quietly, but said nothing. I studied her for a moment. "Is there somewhere I can take you?" I asked. "Do you have family here?"

"_Iie_," she whispered. "I have no family. And I have no home."

"Where do you stay?"

"Wherever I can find shelter."

I considered the options before me. "I have no house to speak of," I informed. "But you are more than welcome to come with me, to my place of shelter."

Her eyes fell. "You are too kind, Hamato-san."

"Nonsense," I assured her. "I would be honored."

SAKURA:

"I wish to thank you, Hamato-san," I whispered as I dabbed lightly at the blood trickling from his arm. "You saved my life."

"You need not thank me," he assured quietly.

I looked up at the face of my rescuer. He was older than I, but I didn't think him much older. His dark eyes danced with life, and his muscled arms spoke of his strength. I in no way considered him old. He was probably much younger at heart than I was. I chuckled at the thought. In my years, I had seen more than most people saw in a lifetime.

__

I wondered how he had gotten here, from Japan. He spoke no English, so he must have just arrived. Likely, he came here illegally. I was in no position to judge his reasons for coming to this country. 

"You should be okay," I informed him. "The bullet is not lodged; it went out the other side of your arm. Just try and rest for the next few days."

He studied me carefully. "You are welcome to stay," he invited.

I smiled faintly and hung my head. My dark hair fell like a curtain in front of my eyes. "I am most grateful to you," I whispered. "I would not wish to impose on you further."

He considered that for a moment, and I peeked through my hair at him. "For as long as I am wounded, I could very much use your help," he informed me. "And after I am healed, we can discuss a further course of action."

I stared at him. I knew full well that his wound would not greatly impair him, and he was probably just as aware of that fact. I did not like accepting charity. There was almost always strings attached. But his proposition was reasonable. I nodded. "Very well, then," I accepted. "I will stay until you are healed."

He smiled. "Good."


	4. Orphanage

****

ORPHANAGE

August 28, 1995

-5 Hours, 14 Minutes

I began writing this book while I was on pain pills, and it didn't occur to me that this plotline would not be POSSIBLE in the USA, because of the way we handle foster care. So *poof!* I changed it. Please don't tell me about how there really aren't orphanages in the Unites States, because now there are. LOL

****

ANNA:

I turned the light on as the light from the window became too dim to see clearly. A bright yellow light replaced the pale blue and flooded the room filled with open, half-empty boxes. I stood in the middle of the pile and looked around. A six-year-old sat on my new bed, doing the same. "What's that?"

"What's what, honey?" I looked up and in the direction that she was pointing. "Oh, that."

I turned and sat down on the edge of the bed, and took the small, gray box into my lap. "I call this my Treasure Box," I explained quietly, adding a twinge of mystery to my words. "I've _never _opened it."

Kaylie eyes widened. "Really?"  
I smiled. "Yeah."

"What's in it?"

"I don't know," I grinned. "My mama gave it to me when I was very young. She told me not to open it until my twentieth birthday."

She stared at me for a moment. "That's in a few months, right?" she reminded me.

I nodded. "I've waited a long time."

She studied the box. "What do you think's inside?"

I smiled mysteriously. "I dunno. What do you think?"

"I think I wanna know when you open it up!" she cried.

I dropped the box on the comforter and wrapped my arms around the little girl, tickling her sides. "Comere you!"

She shrieked and doubled over, feet flailing as she fell back on the bed. She wriggled away from me and bounced off the bed, running to the opposite side of the room. She watched closely to see if I would follow her. I smiled and began rummaging through the cardboard box at my feet. I pulled out a pair of jeans. They were far too small for me now, and I wondered why I had not yet given them away. "Were those yours when you were little?" Kaylie asked.

"Yes, they were," I smiled. "I think they're a little too small for now me though. Would you like to have them?"

She raced over to me and grabbed the pants. Her red hair fell in her face as she held them up to her legs and looked down. She shook them to straighten out the wrinkles, and a piece of paper fell from one of the pockets. Quickly losing interest in the jeans, she picked it up and began to unfold it.

"Careful, Kaylie," I directed. "It looks fragile."

She slowed down and unfolded each crease carefully. Completely unfolded, I saw the drawing on it. Japanese writing was in the corner, but I could not read it. I could recognize the language easily, but reading it was a different story. And even if I were able to read Japanese, half of the letters were smeared. The paper was dirty and old. "What _is _it, Miss Anna?" Kaylie asked in wide-eyed fascination.

"I don't know," I admitted, taking it from her hands. "It looks like some kind of map, but I don't know where it's to."

"Maybe it's a _treasure_ map, Miss Anna!" Kaylie exclaimed.

I laughed quietly and studied it for a moment. "I'm not sure what it is," I admitted. "But if you'd like to use it to go look for treasure, you may have it."

"Wow, thanks Miss Anna!" she cried, snatching it from my hands. "Hey guys! Look what Miss Anna gave me!"

She ran from the room and I smiled after her. I sighed as I looked over remainder of my belongings. Some of them, I had not looked through in years. I wasn't entirely sure what I'd find. 

****

DONATELLO:

"Man, this guy sucks," Michaelangelo observed, studying the TV.

"The drugs had a potential street value of thirty... er, thir_teen_ hundred dollars..." the reporter droned on.

"Where the hell is April?" Mike whined.

"She's on vacation, remember?" I reminded him.

"_Still_? She's been gone for, like, a week now!"

"She had a week and a half off, remember?"

"Hey guys?" I looked over the back of the couch and saw Raphael walk into the room. "Just wondering but... has anyone seen our fearless leader lately?"

"He came back earlier and went to his room," I informed. "Haven't seem him since."

"I think somethin's botherin' him," Mike added.

"Mmm," Raphael mumbled. "Well, I'm going out. I'll see you all in the morning."

I waved over my shoulder at him. I couldn't stop him if I'd wanted to, and I didn't feel like trying. Mikey stood up. "I think I'm going to bed," he mumbled. "This is too pathetic to watch."

I shrugged. "G'night."

He disappeared, leaving me alone in the living room.

****

LEONARDO:

It was dark when I finally decided that I had to eat something. I was surprised by the fact that it was almost evelen o'clock. I yawned. Physically, I was awake. Mentally, I felt exhausted. I'd spent an hour at the orphanage, looking for any signs of danger, and about an hour in practice before I retreated to my room and to meditation. Something was wrong, and I knew it. It was a feeling in the pit of my stomach. But I couldn't identify it. Hours of trying to pinpoint it had gotten me nowhere.

I'd talked to Splinter. But for once, he was unable to help. Though he felt the same, subtle warning, he was no more able than I was to understand it. I told him of the encounter at the orphanage, and went back to check again. But there was nothing, and I didn't want to be seen. Logically, it would seem as if I was being warned that they would attack again. But it did not feel like that kind of a warning. It felt... strange. Unfamiliar.

I opened the fridge and stared inside. There was really nothing to eat. Strangely, I wasn't very hungry. I fixed a sandwich, ate quickly, and went back to my room. I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes. I was missing something. What was I missing?

I pondered the thought as I drifted off to sleep.

***

_Blue sparks fly from the hands of the dark figures as they seal the metal box. I feel disembodied, as if I don't belong here. But I am here. I am watching. "Maybe we could just... like... go up there and get her now," one of them suggests. This is a basement. They're kneeling in front of a large furnace._

"Why? We did what we came here to do."

"Yeah, but... I don't know Rich..."

"You don't know what_? We're just following orders, you know that."_

"Yeah, but... A whole building _fulla kids?"_

I'm watching myself as the scene fades and reforms. Outdoors. I take them down without hesitation. Quickly trained and hardly worthy opponents. Two of them talk in the background, but I don't hear it. "Let's just get the hell outta here. We'll get her tonight."

"But what if she talks?"

"She ain't gonna be sayin' nothin'_ after midnight."_

"But what if she talks before then?"

"Then it ain't our problem. We did what the boss said to do. And there ain't nobody _gonna stop that bomb..."_

I bolted out of bed, nearly giving myself a heart attack. "The building!" I screamed into the darkness. "They're going to bomb the orphanage!"  



	5. C4

****

C-4

August 28, 1995

-28 Minutes

****

LEONARDO:

I sprang out of bed and swept my belt and weapons off the floor. "Donny!" I called into the dark lair. "Donny get up!"

I banged on his door. "Whadda you want Leo?" he moaned back.

"They're gonna bomb the orphanage! Get up! Hurry!"

He stumbled out of his room still half-asleep. "What are you talking about?" he slurred, rubbing his eyes. "Who's gonna bomb what orphanage?"

"There were foot soldiers at the orphanage earlier," I explained in a rush. "I took them down and tried to get one of them to talk, but it didn't look like they'd accomplished anything so I checked it out but there didn't look like there was anything bad happening inside. But they said something about getting her at midnight and it's 11:30 now!"

He had a blank stare on his face. He shook his head slowly. "I see your lips moving, but I'm not hearing you."

I grabbed his arm. "Just come on! I'll explain on the way!"

Raphael wandered out of his room. I was somewhat surprised to see him home. But I wasn't complaining. "Leo, what the hell are you yellin' about?" he mumbled.

I stopped and forced my emotions to settle down. I was still half-asleep, and my thoughts were just starting to become coherent. I breathed deep, closing my eyes. "Shredder is going to bomb an orphanage at midnight," I informed. Michaelangelo tripped over his feet as he opened his door and tried to walk out into the living room.

"How do you know?"

"I saw foot soldiers there earlier," I explained calmly. "They said something about a countdown to midnight, and shutting up a little girl."

"And you're just _now _figuring this out?" Raphael shot.

I stared at him. "I..." I stammered, struggling for an explanation. "I didn't... hear it," I finally answered. "I just know."

Raph's arms crossed over his plastron. "Do you see dead people, Leo?" he asked sarcastically.

Mike snickered. I glared at them. "Guys, this _isn't _funny," I snapped. "You think I'm nuts, but what if I'm right? What if we've got twenty-five minutes to disarm a bomb that's gonna kill dozens of kids?"

They looked at each other, then at me. "Let's take the van," Donatello suggested.

****

ANNA:

I heard a quiet crying coming from somewhere down the long hallway. I slipped out from underneath the covers and touched my feet to the icy cold floor. I grabbed my robe from off the bedside table and crept out into the darkened building, following my ears.

"Marie?" I whispered, cracking the door open. "Marie, what's the matter?"

She was sitting up on her bed, the lower mattress on one of two bunk beds. The other three girls were all asleep. She hid her face in her hands and sobbed quietly. "Marie?"

I slipped into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Don't cry, Marie."

"I miss Mommy."

I felt the familiar stab of pain in my heart. "Come here, Marie," I invited, holding out my arms to her.

The three-year-old crawled out from under the blanket and slithered into my lap. I wrapped my arms around her and held her head to my chest. "It's okay, baby," I whispered. "Mommy's watching you from up in heaven. She's _always_ watching you."

"I wan' talk to my mommy," she sniffed. "I wan' her sing to me."

"Shh..."

I rocked back and forth gently, cradeling the little girl. "What did your mommy used to sing to you?" she whispered.

"That song from that movie," she sniffed. "Where she teached them singing."

I bit my lip as I wracked my brain. "How's it go, honey? Maybe I know it. I could sing for you."

She sniffed and pulled away a little, then started to sing quietly. Her voice cracked and she hit the wrong notes, but I still recognized it. I smiled and pulled her close to me again. "Eidelweiss, Eidelweiss, every morning you greet me..."

She relaxed slowly as the quiet words soothed her. "Small and white, clean and bright, you look happy to see me..."

I rocked her back to sleep, my mind drifting over the stories that these four walls must hold. Marie's story told of a fire that claimed the lives of her mother and father. In the bed above her, Suzanne was abandoned at a hospital, and her mother then committed suicide. Tomiqua's father had been raising her until he died of cancer and left her with no family or friends who were willing to adopt her. Rachaun was taken from a home where she and her older brother lived amidst dog feces and hypodermic needles. These were nobody's kids, the unwanted statistics that plagued every city. These were _my _kids, and I loved every one of them.

****

MICHAELANGELO:

We jumped out of the van and looked up at the building. We had twenty minutes. "Don't suppose you know where this bomb _is_," Raphael yawned.

"It's in the furnace," Leo informed.  
Raphael laughed. "Now _that's _a good place for a bomb."

"Actually, it is," Don mumbled. "The heating ventilation system would..."

"Save it, Donny," Raph sighed. "I'm too tired for logic."

I said nothing as we circled the building, looking for an easy entrance. "The roof?" I finally suggested when we found no way in.

"The furnace would be in the basement," Donny objected. "If this thing's gonna go off at midnight, there's no time."

"We'll have to use the front door," Leonardo informed.

"Oh, great," Raph sighed. "Should we knock or ring the bell?"

I looked both ways for spectators before I raced out into the open street and up the front steps. I knelt in front of the door and inspected the lock. "Can you get it?" Leo asked. 

"Yeah, I can," I answered. "But it might take a few minutes."

"I don't think we have much of a choice," Don mumbled. 

"Here."

I reached up and Leo handed me the little black bag from the van. I opened it and pulled out the two tools I needed. "Uh, not to criticize the whole neat and tidy approach," Raph mumbled. "But couldn't we just kick the door down? I mean, if the place is gonna go up in flames anyhow..."

"That door's probably two inches thick," Don informed him.

"So? We've made our way through..."

"Shut up, Raph," I sighed, sliding the tools into place. "I almost..."

The lock clicked, and I pushed the thick wooden door open. Leo and Don rushed in. Raphael stood back and offered me a hand. "I know you're not too happy about bein' here, Raph," I sighed as I rose next to him. "But you ever stop to think about just how few times Leo's actually been wrong?"

He sighed. "Mike, you don't _really _think..."

"Whether I do or not, it _could _be true," I interrupted.

I took off across the tile floor, following Leo and Don as they threw a door open and disappeared. Raph followed me with very little urgency. How was it that Leo knew exactly where he was going? I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer.

I slid down the metal banister and nearly slammed into the wall as the stairs turned and went the opposite direction. By the time I got to the basement floor, Donatello and Leonardo were already standing in front of the massive furnace. It didn't make a sound. Don pressed his hand to it, and backed away. "Donny, look," Leo called.

We all walked to the other side of the huge metal box. A large square had been taken out of the side of the furnace and sottered back together. I stared at it with wide eyes. This was starting to get freaky. "They wouldn't weld it back together near a bomb," Don assumed. "Cut it open."

The sound of Leo's _katana _slicing through metal was not one that my ears appreciated. Raph jammed his sai into the hole and pried it back. Together, they opened the side of the furnace. We all froze as we stared at the mess of wires and huge canisters inside. I think my heart skipped a few beats as I stared death in the face. "Holy shit..." Raphael breathed.

Don stepped forward slowly and dropped to his knees. He didn't touch it. There was a moment of silence as we all gaped at the huge weapon. I'd never seen anything like it, except in the movies. And if they were even the slightest bit accurate, that was enough C-4 to take out half the city block. 

"Get everyone out of this building," Donatello said slowly. He sounded like he was in a trance.

"Can you disarm it?" Leonardo asked, watching the glowing numbers tick. It wasn't a countdown; it was a clock. It read 11:49.

"In ten minutes, Leo?" He looked up, and I caught a glimpse of the awestruck look on his face. "No. Fucking. Way."


	6. Race Against Time

****

RACE AGAINST TIME

August 28, 1995

-10 Minutes

ANNA:

I slipped out of the room silently, and heard a noise behind me. Mrs. Collins stood behind me, holding a candle. "Anna?" she whispered. "What are you doing up? It's late!"

"Marie was crying," I answered her quietly, running my fingers through my long, dark hair. "I came to help her back to sleep. What are you doing?"

"Shh! Listen!"

I froze and listened to a clanging, scraping sound coming from somewhere below us. "What on earth is that?" I whispered.

"I don't know. I was going to go find out."

"I'll come with you," I informed.

We crept toward the stairs. Our shadows walked after us, shifting and stretching in the flickering candle light. The noise got louder as we reached the bottom of the stairs. "Anna, look!"

I glanced in the direction she was pointing and saw that the front door was open. There was no sound now. Only the steady thumping of my heart in my ears as I considered who might have come into the building and how. More importantly, why?

"The basement door is open!" she exclaimed. 

As we walked toward it, we were suddenly run over by a small crowd of quickly-advancing figures. I screamed in surprise. "Oh, woah, hey, just who we wanted to see!" one of them laughed nervously.

I scrambled to get away. The candle had gone out as it fell to the floor. "Who are you?" I demanded, clutching the robe over my chest. I could see nothing in the darkness around us.

"Lady, you need to get everyone out of this building," another voice ordered. "It's gonna explode in less than ten minutes."

"What!" I cried. "What are you talking about? Who are you?"

A thick hand grabbed mine and pulled me to my feet. I barely had time to protest, but there was enough time to notice something very strange about his skin. It was different from mine. Rougher, and maybe... thicker? How could that be?

"You need to see it to believe it?" another figure asked. "It's in the basement, in the furnace."

"Just _don't _touch it! It could explode."

"Wait," I protested as they tried to run. "How do we know you're not just trying to make a clean getaway?"

"Clean getaway?" the first voice laughed. "Lady, if we wanted to get away, we would do it _without _your help."

"Get everyone out of this building."

There was a slight rush of wind, and no sound. I scanned the darkness, searching for any sign of the intruders. The faint outline that had begun to form over them, as my eyes adjusted to the light, was gone. _They _were gone, but not out the door. "Mrs. Collins," I whispered. "Maybe they... were telling the truth."

My stomach twisted in knots at the words.

"Nonsense, child," she laughed. But I could hear the nervous tension in her voice.

"Do you think we could... look anyway? Just in case?"

We started slowly down the stairs. The light was on down here, and the side of the furnace was pried open. I caught my breath as I stepped in front of it. "Mrs. Collins?" I choked. "Is that...?"

I couldn't finish.

****

DONATELLO:

"Where did Raph go?" Leo demanded.

"He's already upstairs," Mike answered. His eyes were still wide. I knew he was probably wound as tightly as I was. 

"Fine," Leo mumbled, his voice calm but at the same time very tense. "Get up there with him. Turn on all the lights you can along the way," Leo ordered quickly. "Make noise, pull fire alarms, call down the hallways, get everyone up and moving. Two minutes to twelve, we leave no matter what." He disappeared. "Donny, see if this place's got some kind of PA system so you can tell people what's going on. We need to try and keep them calm."

I nodded quickly and turned away from him. I sprinted back down the hall toward the lobby, scanning for light switches along the way. I found one, and flooded the hallway with light. The one in the lobby was easy to find. I scanned the room. Where would the central office be?

Two figures stumbled into the room, clamoring up the basement steps. One was a woman who looked like she was in her fifties. The other was only a teenager. They froze, and the panicked look on their face turned to sheer terror as they saw me clearly in the bright light. The older woman screamed. Fine. She'd wake people up, and that was good. "Do you have a PA system here?" I yelled over her noise. "We need to tell people what's going on!"

The younger girl stared at me for a moment, then shook her head as if coming out of a trance. She scrambled to her feet and ran past me. "This way!"

I followed close behind her to a closed off room. She struggled for a moment with the handle. "It's... locked!"

"Get back," I ordered, raising my arm to block her. I focused my attention on the door, then spun and kicked it. It flew open, splintering wood and banging against the wall. It was an office. 

"The PA system hasn't been used in years," the girl exclaimed, "but I think it still works!"

I raced to it and flipped it on. "This is _not _a drill!" I spoke into the mic, trying to keep my voice calm. It worked just fine. I could hear my words echo through the hallways. "Get up, get out of bed, and get out of the building as quickly as you can."

"Let me," the girl pleaded. I turned to her and saw a look of extreme tension on her face. But she was not panicked. "Please," she whispered. "They know me. They'll listen to me."

I handed her the microphone and stepped back. She switched it on. "Girls, this is Miss Anna," she relayed. Her voice was remarkably calm and steady. "I want everybody to move single file down the stairs and out the front door. It will be open for you when you get there. Go out of the building and across the street. You'll see Mrs. Collins, and she'll tell you where to go next. Single file, girls, and don't forget to help the younger children."

She flipped the switch off and leaned back against the filing cabinets, suddenly breathing hard. Beads of sweat had broken out on her forehead. "You're pretty good at that, Miss Anna," I smiled, in spite of the situation.

"The woman in the lobby," she whispered. "Make sure she get out the front door. They'll be looking for her. Then go. I can do this."

I nodded and sprinted from the room.

****

LEONARDO:

There was no organization to what ages were on what floors. Most of the older teenagers were carrying younger children. For the younger teens, the thought probably hadn't occurred to them. I tried to fix that, handing them infants as I pulled them out of their cribs. A woman's voice echoed through the halls, over the screams. She was trying to keep them calm. If they _could _stay calm, I knew we could get everyone out of this building. There were enough older children to carry the younger ones. But most of them weren't thinking; they were panicking.

Every hand I touched, every set of eyes I looked into, was a life. A life that required my undivided attention, if only for long enough to hand it to someone else. 

Seven minutes. 

I flicked on lights. I pulled babies from cribs. I tried to motivate terrified children to get up. I cleared the floor, and moved to the next one.

****

RAPHAEL:

Time passed too quickly as I raced through the halls. I worked well under pressure. But I'd never felt pressure like this. I felt like I could sweat blood. I was walking on top of a bomb that was going to blow this building to kingdom come in about five minutes. I caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall. Three minutes. Donny had said they probably set it to the clocks in the building, and all of them displayed the same time. There hadn't been time to argue his use of the word "probably".

I raced down the hallway in the direction of crying children. Some of these kids were only toddlers. Some were _infants_. I threw a door open and pulled two screaming babies out of cribs. I raced into the hall and handed them to the first two retreating people I saw who looked old enough to carry them. This room was clear. 

More crying. I kicked open another door and saw a small child trying to lift a baby out of its crib. But she wasn't quite tall enough. She screamed as she saw me, and backed toward the window. "Hey, need some help?" I asked. I reached into the crib and pulled the infant out. 

The girl, probably about five, reached for her. "Hey, why don't we let one of the teachers carry her, huh?" I suggested.

"But she's my sister!"

I felt a stab of unidentifiable grief, and ushered the little girl into the hallway. This floor was clear. "Come on, let's get you and your sister outta here."

I scooped the girl into my other arm and glanced at the clock. Two minutes. It was over. I raced into the stairway, realizing that I could still hear a child's cries from the floor above me. I paused. I'd known when I raced up here that chances were slim that we'd be able to save them all. There just wasn't enough time. I'd known that we wouldn't get them all out. But it didn't lessen the pain to have prepared for it. I bit my lip so hard I could taste blood. I couldn't go back there. This five year old girl would never get her sister out of this building. I had to focus on that. I had to carry them. I had to carry them _now_. I raced down the steps two at a time, trying not to think of the children I couldn't help.

_God save them..._

****

LEONARDO:

I ran into Michaelangelo on the third floor. "Get outta here!" I yelled.

"This is Miss Anna..."

"But there's still kids!" he cried. I grabbed his arm and shoved him as hard as I could toward the stairs. "Go _now_, dammit!"

He grabbed a wandering, crying two-year-old, hopefully the only one left on this floor, and ran. I followed him, taking the steps two at a time. "I want everybody to move single file down the stairs and out the front door..."

Through the open front door, I saw Donatello out on the street, trying to direct children who were just as terrified of him as they were of the confusion. Raphael... He'd better be out. _God, Raph, for _once, _you better have listened to me..._

"It will be open for you when you get there..."

Miss Anna.

I glanced at the clock. Forty five seconds. I sprinted toward the office. The broken door swung open and I vaulted over the counter, grabbing Miss Anna's arm. "Come on!" I screamed at her.

"But I...!"  
"There's no time!"

I didn't give her the option of staying. I ran, pulling her along behind me. We raced to the door, stumbled down the steps, and raced across the street. Suddenly, she dug her heels into the ground. I turned to look at her, shocked and confused. She had turned back to the building. She pulled her hand away from mine, and managed two steps before I caught her upper arms. "No! Anna!"

She writhed, desperately trying to get away. "Let go of me!"

"That building's gonna explode!" I reminded her, gripping her arms tightly.

"I don't care!" she screamed. "There's still... children... in there!"

She struggled fiercely, and somehow managed to twist out of my grasp. "No!" called as she took off across the street again.

"I got her," Raph informed, pulling his grappling hook off his belt as he appeared beside me. He swung it, and caught her legs. She crashed to the ground face-first. 

"Where's Mike!" I demanded.

"I don't know!" Don yelled back over the commotion.

The timer hit zero, and all conversation ceased as a rolling thunder shook the ground.


	7. Broken Glass, Shattered Lives

****

BROKEN GLASS, SHATTERED LIVES

August 29, 1995

0 Hour

****

MICHAELANGELO:

"Get _down_!"

I shielded the small children who were staring blankly at the dark building. The earthquake brought them to their knees and a sudden burst of intense heat surrounded me. The sound was deafening as the sudden force catapulted me a good ten feet forward. I didn't forget about the children, but I couldn't do anything for them. They were thrown carelessly, like leaves falling from a tree were carried on the wind. 

I landed on my hands and knees, and rolled instinctively to the side to lessen the impact and prevent broken bones. Glass shattered and rained down on me, and I turned onto my stomach as quickly as I could, covering my face instinctively. I choked on smoke and ash as a white-hot explosion ripped through the hallways and consumed everything in its path. The building crumbled, disintigrated bricks giving way to the intense weight on top of them. 

I scrambled to get further across the street, tearing the flesh on my hands to shreds. I knew it, but I didn't feel a thing. The ground shook violently as the eight story building fell nearly on top of me. Thick dust surrounded me, and I tried not to think of the children that had been closer than I was to the explosion. 

Suddenly, it was quiet. No, not quiet. I could hear children crying, people screaming, car alarms echoing on the night air. The tinkle of glass as it continued to rain from the sky. But the explosion had died. I wondered how many innocent lives it had taken with it.

I pushed myself up on my hands and knees and coughed deeply as I struggled for air. I looked up, and saw smoke. I saw bodies. I saw bleeding children. I felt sick to my stomach, and struggled to shut off my emotions, like I'd been taught. "Raphael!" I called. "Leo! Donny!"

I coughed again as I pulled myself up. I could feel the glass cut into my feet. But it wasn't pain. I felt numb. A child caught my eye and I felt what little air I could manage to take in squeezed from my lungs. Forgetting everything else, I knelt at her side. "Hey," I choked. My voice was hoarse. My throat burned. I didn't know what to feel, so I tried to feel nothing as my eyes remained locked with the little girl's. She wasn't more than three. "Hey, it's okay," I whispered, trying to convince myself as much as her.

She was bleeding from her mouth and nose, and her left arm was burned from shoulder to wrist. Below her left ankle, there was nothing. "Owie," she gasped. "Owie, owie... Got owie..."

My eyes stung. My vision blurred. "It's okay," I whispered. I untied my mask and wrapped it around her bleeding wound, trying to stop the bloodflow. She screamed, and I blocked it out. When I rose to face her again, I took her hand. "It's okay, what's your name?" I pleaded. "Do you have a name?"

"Mmm..." she struggled. "Ma...."

"Mary?" I guessed.

"Mmmarie..."

I squeezed her hand gently. "Hey, Marie," I greeted. "My name's Mike. Just hang in there, Marie, you're gonna be okay."

"Michaelangelo!"

I looked up. "Over...!" I choked as I took in a breath full of dust. "Over here!"

"Mommy..."

I looked back down at the little girl. "Hang in there Marie," I coughed. I could hardly speak. "Just hold on..."

"Mommy... heaven..."

"Mike!" Raphael appeared beside me and grabbed my arm. "Mike, come on!"

"Daddy..."

I fought against my brother, my heart breaking as the little girl's eyes slid closed. "Marie!"

"Mike _now_!"

She was gone.

I looked up and met my brother's intense stare. "Mike, the police are here, they have ambulances, they'll take care of it!"

I looked back down at the lifeless figure, and choked again. Raphael pulled me to my feet. I did nothing to help him, but I didn't fight either. I couldn't take my eyes off the little girl. "Michaelangelo!"

He put his hands on my cheeks and turned my face to him. "Mikey, she's gone," he informed me. His voice echoed with pain and grief. "We have to go. Please. Now."

I could not get my emotions under control. I didn't try. I nodded slightly, and stumbled toward the alley, where Leo and Don had already disappeared below ground.

****

LEONARDO:

Splinter was awake. He looked up as all four of us stumbled into the lair, bleeding and nearly collapsed from exhaustion and smoke inhalation. We hadn't said a word to each other, and I hoped _Sensei _wouldn't prompt conversation. I wasn't sure what would come out of my mouth, much less Raphael's. 

Splinter said nothing. He stood and walked to the bathroom. We stared at each other for a moment, then Raphael slowly walked to the couch, leaving a trail of blood behind him. His feet, like all of ours, were cut by the glass and debris. We'd stopped to take the larger pieces out, but it only made the bloodflow worse. I suppose it helped the pain. Logically, it would. But in honesty, I felt nothing but the adrenaline burning like fire in my veins. _"I'm still high on adrenaline, Leo, give it a few minutes."_ I'd never understood my brother's words so much as I did now.

Michaelangelo broke first. He collapsed in a heap on the living room floor and cried. I found myself staring at him, as if I were wondering why he was crying. My mind knew, but it was too much for the rest of me to comprehend. I looked to my other brothers for... what? Help? An explanation? No, just... feeling. I felt like nothing, totally numb. I actually wished I could feel the pain; maybe it would help me to snap out of this state... whatever it was.

Donatello was crying silent tears, staring blankly at the wall. Raphael held his hand up slowly and watched in fascination as blood ran from his palm, over his wrist and forearm, to his elbow. He couldn't feel it, I knew. He was just as numb as I was.

Splinter returned. His eyes fell to me. "Sit," he ordered.

It was all he said. I obeyed like a robot, without feeling, without emotion. He handed me a damp towel and I stared at it for a moment before realizing its purpose. I raised my right foot onto my left knee, and watched the blood drip to the floor and pool at my other foot. I realized I was breathing. The air burned as it entered and exited my lungs. It smelled like death as it flowed out of me, tainted by the dust captivated there. I smelled the destruction. I tasted the blood. I heard the quiet sobbing. I felt.

I broke.


	8. Boundaries

****

BOUNDARIES

May 4, 1974

SAKURA:

He watched me from the doorway as I cried, face down, on the pile of blankets. "Sakura?"

"Leave me," I mumbled back.

He studied me for a moment; I could feel his eyes on me. For a long time, he didn't move. Then, he turned away. I felt an overwhelming lonliness wash over me, and immediately wished I had not told him to leave. I curled into a ball, shivering from the cold dampness in the sewer lair. It was always cold down here. Cold, damp, and dark. I shuddered and let the tears fall from my eyes, soaking the blanket underneath my head. I was not looking up, and did not see Yoshi walk back into the room.

He was silent, as he always was, and I had no warning from the icy silence until I suddenly smelled something different - something out of place. It was a sweet smell, almost like... I opened my eyes and saw a rose lying next to me. For a moment, I was startled. I looked up, and saw him standing in the doorway, watching me. I brushed the tears off my cheeks and picked up the white flower, inspecting it.

"Where did you get this?" I asked, confused.

He shrugged slightly. "There is a rose bush in a yard near the pizza shop that gives us their leftover food. It overlaps the sidewalk. I thought you might like that."

I stared up at him in surprise, and he took a step forward, kneeling before me. "What troubles you, Sakura?" he whispered. "Please tell me."

I bowed my head. "It is a lot of things," I admitted. "I don't know why I am here, in America. And a part of me really wants to go back. I have nowhere else to go when I leave here. But I don't even know how I would get back. I have no money."

Yoshi studied me, his eyes searching me. He reached up and brushed aside the curtain of hair that hid my face. "Sakura, you are welcome to stay here as long as you want."

I sighed. Of course he would say that. He would never throw me out on the street. "You are too kind, Hamato-san. But you have done more than enough for me."

He cupped his fingers under my chin and raised my eyes to his. "Sakura..." he whispered. "I want you to stay." 

I studied him, trying to determine the honesty of his words. His eyes were filled with silent, masked pain that caught me slightly off guard. It did not take me long to realize that he was very serious. I said nothing, not entirely sure what to say.

"Please," he whispered. "Please stay."

****

YOSHI:

"Yoshi-san? Are you here?"

The quiet voice cut through the dark silence like a knife. I opened my eyes, my concentration broken, and stared at the dim light that silhouetted her in the doorway. "I am," I answered.

She was silent for a moment. "I am sorry. Are you busy? I do not mean to interrupt."

I rose from the mat I was sitting on, and walked silently to the dresser. There I lit a match and transferred the flame to a well-used candle in a glass jar. I could feel her eyes on me as they adjusted to the light. I smiled warmly. "You are no interruption, Sakura," I assured her. "Please, come in."

She took a few steps into the room as I sat down at the edge of the blankets that constituted my bed. She knelt beside me, five feet away, and bowed her head. "Why do you want me to stay here, Yoshi?" she questioned, raising her eyes to mine.

I studied her for a moment. "Do you believe I ask you for any other reason than that I have grown fond of your company? In this place where I have no human contact?"

She looked away again. "I believe you ask me with the purest intentions, Yoshi-san. I would only like to know what they are."

I gave her no answer. After a moment, she breathed deep. "If you so miss human contact, why are you here?" she asked. "Why don't you get a job and a house."

"For many reasons," I sighed.

"You are not here legally." That was not a question. It was obvious that she already knew that much.

"I am not," I admitted.

"But you could still find work," she told me, our eyes locking again. "You choose not to. Why?"

I did not speak. "Yoshi, why do you not at least try? I know you are not lazy, so why?"

I stared at her steadily. "Sakura, there are things about me which you do not know; and things which you could not understand."

"What things?" she demanded quietly. "Like why you left Japan?"

The words stung fiercely, and I turned my face away from her. For a moment, I studied the floor. Then I shut my eyes. "Why did you leave, Yoshi-san?" she questioned. I did not answer, and there was a long silence. "Were you exiled?"

Tears burned the backs of my eyes, and I forced them away. There was another long pause, before I finally found words. "_Hai_," I whispered. "I ran."

"And are you still running, Yoshi?" she asked. 

I nodded. "In many ways, I am."

"Who are you running from?" she questioned.

I sighed deeply. "From a clan," I whispered. "A clan of _ninjas_."

"They want to kill you?"

"I am quite sure they do."

"Why?"

I did not feel the stinging that warned of the tears; it had already come and gone. There was no advisory as a single tear overstepped its boundary and rolled down my cheek. I closed my eyes and bowed my head. "Please leave me, Sakura," I whispered.

She must have known that she had overstepped her boundaries. Without a word, she stood and quickly disappeared.


	9. Love and Honor

****

LOVE AND HONOR

JULY 21, 1974

YOSHI:

"What is... this called?" I asked with some hesitation. The words themselves, being in English, held little meaning for me. But I knew what kind of answer the sentence required.

Sakura looked up from her place on the living room floor, where she was quietly reading. "That is a turtle," she answered clearly. She looked back down to where another one of my four new pets were crawling onto the book she was reading, and began a hurried string of English that I did not understand much of. "This is... turtle... my..."

She looked up at me and laughed at what I assumed was a look of confusion. Then she picked the turtle up carefully by its shell. It ducked its head inside. "Yoshi-san, will you put this one with his brothers please?" she asked. "It is very difficult to concentrate when he seems intent on joining me."

I smiled and set down the turtle I was holding, taking the one she offered. "Go and play," I ordered gently, placing it with the others. "Books are not for turtles."

Sakura was watching me closely. I could feel her eyes on me, though my back was turned to her. "Does something trouble you, Sakura-chan?"

"_Iie_," she replied absently. "I am only thinking."

I turned to her, crossing my legs in front of me. One of the rats approached, and began rummaging through my pockets in search of food. I smiled, well aware of its presence, but allowed Sakura my full attention. "Of what are you thinking?" I asked.

She reclined slightly, her back against the tattered couch. "Only that you treat your pets as if they are human. I wonder if there is anything in this world that you do _not _treat with respect."

I paused for a moment, considering her words. "What reason have I to treat anything with _dis_respect?"

She did not answer for a long time. "You are so..." I raised an eyebrow as she searched for a word. "... courteous," she finally ended. "Yet you don't speak to me as one who is greatly cultured."

The rat swam through my pocket and back into my lap. It looked up at me, impatient with the barren pockets, and scurried away. I watched it go, then turned to Sakura. "What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, it is not in any way an insult," she justified. I nodded once to let her know that I understood that. "I mean only that you speak to me so... informally at times. You sometimes even remind me of Samuel, except that you treat me with respect. I have never heard such informal tones uttered in such a respectful way."

"Samuel?" I questioned.

"My American husband."

I smiled. "Do I seem influenced by a culture I know nothing of?"

She giggled slightly. "You are not an American, and would never be mistaken for one. But you sometimes speak as freely as though you were."

I considered that for a moment. "Does that bother you?"

"Oh, no. Not at all," she laughed. "It does seem strange, though."

I studied her, and smiled. "You, too, forsake tradition in search of knowledge."

She appeared confused. "What do you mean?"

"You ask questions, even when you speak out of place."

She blushed and hung her head. "I do," she admitted. "I sometimes fear Western culture has influenced me too much."

I shook my head slightly. "Not in my opinion."

"Is it not wrong then?" she pressed. "For a woman to challenge a man?"

I considered that. "It depends on the man, and the topic of discussion."

"I was always taught that such disrespect was strictly forbidden."

"_Hai_," I nodded. "I was taught the same thing. But you see, Sakura, respect can be lost. We respect our elders because they are more knowledgeable than ourselves. But I do not believe that _every_ man is to be respected by a woman any more than I believe that every man older than myself is to be respected by me."

"You do not believe that?"

"A man ten years older than me may murder, and rape, and destroy. And such a man deserves nothing from me. How can one honor a man who is not honorable?"

"You should respect his position, if not him," she challenged me.

"How? To be polite and courteous? I would do such a thing for any man. But to heed his words, to seek his advice..." I shook my head. "That is not wisdom." She looked away. "So in what way would I respect him, Sakura? For it cannot be in the same manner that I would respect another of my elders."

She glanced back at me, and a smile crept across her face. "No one has ever talked like this with me before," she informed me.

I smiled back, but said nothing in reply. After a moment of silence, she raised herself to her knees and crawled across the few feet between us, coming to rest right in front of me. Her hands rested on my knees as she studied me. "You are an amazing person, Yoshi-san," she whispered.

The sudden nearness of her left me unable to respond. I felt something stir inside of me. Something that had lay dormant for decades, but suddenly resurfaced as I studied her. I only had a few seconds to do so before she leaned forward and brushed her lips against mine. A warmth that I had not known in years rushed through me, from my lips, down my spine, and to every fiber of my being. It pooled in my groin as my body remembered how to act and what to do. I parted my lips slightly, and welcomed her, wrapping my arms around her waist. She melted into me. Our bodies and souls came together, and inspected each other, both unsure of this trust that was so easily broken. She pulled away slowly, and we stared at each other.

"Do you love me, Yoshi?" she asked quietly. The words were said with no emotion. Her eyes pleaded for nothing more than the truth. And I knew that she deserved as much.

"_Hai, _Sakura," I whispered, running my fingers over her cheek. "_Ai-shiteru._"

****

SAKURA:

I was in love with him. The concept frightened me, but I knew I could not deny it. His words frightened me even more. Surely this was not wise. But my heart knew nothing of wisdom, and I was powerless against it. I turned away from him, and for a moment, it was silent. 

"What is troubling you?" he whispered.

I sighed. "I know nothing about you, Yoshi; do you realize that?"

"What do you want to know?" he answered without hesitation.

I glanced at him. "Anything?"

He shrugged slightly. "Anything. Speak freely."

"How old are you?"

"Forty-three."

I cringed inwardly. He was more than a decade older than I. He looked so much younger. I would not have guessed him to be more than thirty-five. "Have you ever been married?" I questioned.

"_Iie_."

I studied him. "So you have no children, I assume?"

He set the cup down on the mat we were sitting on to eat. "I had a son," he explained. "But he was not my flesh and blood. He spent the first five years of his life on the streets of Tokyo, stealing to survive, before I found him."

"And you adopted him?"

"_Hai_."

I chuckled slightly. "That sounds _exactly _like something you would do."

He smiled. "Now let me ask you something." I nodded in approval. "How did you come to the United States?"

I sighed deeply, and my eyes dropped to the floor. "I married an American soldier," I whispered. "And in so doing, I was disowned by my family. We came to the United States and lived together for twelve years."

"That is a long time," he observed.

I nodded slightly. "It is," I agreed.

"He divorced you after that long time?"

I nodded again. "He... used to bring prostitutes to the house. And after twelve years, I finally... got angry at the fact that he treated them much better than he ever treated me. We fought and he divorced me."

He was silent for a long time. "I am sorry, Sakura," he finally whispered.

"It is no matter," I shrugged. "I was unhappy with him anyway."

He moved closer and pulled me to his chest. I rested my head on him, comforted by the closeness. "Why did you come here?" I asked, nuzzling against his neck.

"I have already told you that," he mumbled.

"Your life is in danger?"

"_Hai_."

"For what reason?" I questioned. "What did you do?"

He did not answer, and I pulled away from him to see his expression. It was cold and emotionless. "Did you kill a man?" I guessed.

He looked away. "It does not matter," he answered. "The reasons are many, but the outcome is the same. I cannot go back."

The tone of his voice was a warning, and I fell silent. His past was perhaps not a secret that would be easily discovered. And I knew that it was all the more fascinating to me because of it.


	10. Awakenings

****

AWAKENINGS

August 29, 1995

48 Minutes

****

SPLINTER:

They fell asleep in the living room, none of them wanting to leave the places where they had fallen. I took the blood-soaked rags into the bathroom and rinsed them as well as I could, then hung them over the bathtub. I did not need to ask what had happened. My intuition had awoken me, and the news media had provided me with details. I could only imagine the horrors that they had witnessed, and the desperation they would feel later, when the shock was gone and they began to ask themselves if they could have possibly done more.

I walked past them again, and looked over each one, making sure that all of their wounds were tended to. The smell of blood hung heavy in the air, and I forced myself to ignore it. I had done all I could.

****

CLARISSE:

I held a five-year-old girl to my side as we stumbled into the hospital. Time passed like it would in a dream: sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes not at all. Bloody, half-conscious, still in a state of shock, I cooperated with doctors as much as I was able. I could still hear the voice echoing in my mind. _Girls, this is Miss Anna. I want everybody to move single file down the stairs and out the front door..._ Those words were going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I wondered if she knew that. Or if she could see how much her direction impacted the frantic children. We probably wouldn't have gotten half of those kids out if they hadn't known exactly what to do.

The press was here. I could hear them. I coughed deeply, trying to rid my lungs of dust and smoke. They gave me a breathing treatment that made my pulse race, then gave me a sedative to put me to sleep. I didn't know what was wrong with me, or if anything was. I didn't feel much pain. Cuts and bruises, but I'd been on the other side of the street when the building collapsed. I'd looked back just in time to see one of Them race down the steps with children in his arms. 

Did he make it? Did the children make it? My mind swam in the dark sea whatever drug they gave me had created. I closed my eyes and didn't fight it.

MICHAELANGELO:

My eyes opened and I stared up at a dark ceiling. I didn't move. I could feel the figures around me, my brothers, and I could tell that they were asleep. Something had woken me up, though I wasn't entirely sure what it was. I guess it didn't really matter now. Whatever it was, it had done the job well.

Silent tears were forming on their own. Not even fully awake yet, I was already faced with memories more threatening than the dreams that plagued my sleep. I wished I could go back to sleep, but I knew it wasn't going to happen. 

My body hurt, I realized. I tried to move, but muscles rebelled, and I fell back onto the floor, giving up easily. I didn't feel like fighting. There was nothing worth fighting for. There was pain... where was it coming from? My arms. Both forearms, but the left was worse. It felt like it was a burn, maybe. I wondered how severe it was. My right arm was cut. It felt like it was also sitiched. Thank god for Master Splinter.

My feet hurt. They were wrapped in ace bandages. I remembered why. The street had been littered with glass and metal, and it hadn't even occured to me to try and dodge it. If not for the kneepads, my knees would be cut up, too. I hadn't felt a thing. In all my life, I don't think I'd ever felt adrenaline like that.

I wondered if they'd felt it too. Could children feel the effects of adrenaline? Could it block out physical pain for them, like it had done for us? Was there any way they could've died without pain? I had to think of one. Just one possibility to take my mind off of the aching grief in my chest.

"Mikey? You awake?"

Donatello.

"Yeah," I whispered back.

"You okay?"

"I think so," I sniffed, wiping the tears out of my eyes. "Are you?"

"I've been better."

"You hurt bad?"

"I don't know," he sighed. "I hurt all over, but I don't know how bad it is."

There was a long silence. My mind drifted over things I didn't really want to think about. The young, agonized faces were more than I could bear. How many children had died in that explosion? And _why_?

"How could he do it, Donny?" I finally whispered. I didn't expect an answer. I knew he couldn't give me one.

"I don't know," Don replied quietly. "I really don't understand it."

"How could anyone just end so many lives like that with no...?"

My voice trailed off as anger and pain choked me. "It... doesn't fit," Donny mumbled.

"Whaddaya mean?"

He sighed loudly. "It just... doesn't sound like something he would do. It's too... hands-off, you know? Shredder wouldn't use a bomb."

I pushed myself up on my arms and stared at the outline of my brother. "You are so totally missing the point," I choked in disbelief.

He sighed. "No, I'm just... trying not to think about it." He raised himself and looked at me. "I'm trying to keep a clear head, you know?"

I felt anger surge through me. "Clear head? Donny, he fucking killed dozens of children tonight!"

He said nothing. I watched him for a moment before turning my back on him roughly and burying my face in the back of the couch. I cried hard, soaking the cushions with tears that did nothing to ease the pain inside of me.

****

ANNA:

I stood at the window and stared out at the city, crying silently. Behind me, a child slept. She would continue to sleep until she remembered that she still possessed life. "Anna?"

I closed my eyes, dropping my head. It was nearly dawn, but I had not slept. They had provided me with a cot, and with every comfort they could. It was amazing what people would do when faced with tragedy. "Please go away," I whispered. "I don't want to talk right now."

A gentle hand rested on my shoulder. "You should sleep, Anna."

My stomach churned. "I don't want to sleep."

Tears burned my eyes, and I tried to control them. The woman beside me breathed deep. "Perhaps if you ate something?"

I bowed my head. "No. Please. Just leave me."

I felt her fingers in my hair, brushing it away from my face in an attempt to soothe me. "What you did was very brave, Anna," she whispered after a long silence. "You were the calming voice in the middle of the storm. You don't know how much good you did."

Tears streamed from my eyes. What was it like for them, those last few seconds before the bomb went off? When even he familiar voice was gone, and they were left all alone and afraid. They must have been so scared... "I should have stayed," I whispered. "I should've stayed and talked to them until..." My voice caught. "Until it was over."

"No," she protested. "No, Miss Anna, they need you _now_."

She turned my face to her. Her usually bright eyes were dimmed with pain. Her hurt deepened as she studied me. "Oh, Anna."

She pulled me to her, and I wrapped my arms around her neck, sobbing quietly. She allowed me to cry until I pulled away. "You look a mess, child," she smiled, brushing my stubborn hair back again. I couldn't help but laugh at the simplicity of the statement. I imagined I was quite a sight. Covered with my blood and everyone else's, scraped and muddy from head to toe. My skin felt like plastic.

"Take a shower, dear."

"No, I..." I protested, looking back toward the bed. "I want to be here if Samantha wakes up."

"I will stay. And you can shower right there," she pointed toward an open door that could've led to a closet. Instead, it was a bathroom. "You don't even have to leave the room."

I wiped the tears from my eyes, and for the first time began to think clearly. "I have no clothes."

"Oh, dear, the Red Cross will take care of that," she smiled. "They will give you clean clothes. Just ask for directions at the nurse's station."

I studied her for a moment, and forced a smile. "Thank you, Mrs. Collins," I whispered.

Her gentle fingers brushed the side of my face. "Take heart, child."

I nodded, and closed my eyes, choking back tears. 

LEONARDO:

I awoke slowly and looked around at my surroundings. I looked for a clock. It was only quarter to five. God, this was the longest night of my _life_. I had been up a few times since we'd been home. I wasn't totally sure what was waking me up. This time, I hadn't even been fully asleep yet. It was so hard to sleep, with my mind racing like it was. I wasn't even tired. It was useless to try anymore.

I watched the seconds tick by on the clock and realized that time passed just as slowly when I was awake as it did when I was trying to sleep. This was rediculous. I had to get up. I had to do something. I couldn't just lay here. It would drive me insane. 

I swung my legs to the floor. Pain screamed at me as blood rushed to the wounds on my feet. I hesitated. I should probably stay off of them, to give them a chance to heal. But how long was that going to take? That wasn't a matter of a few hours of bedrest. I would be laid up for the next three weeks. No chance that was going to work. I would likely go insane.

I reached my arms above my head and stretched, nearly recoiling in pain. I was sore. Falling asleep sprawled over this chair last night had not helped. I got up slowly and walked to the kitchen. I reached for a glass and got a drink. I felt like hell. I had no energy, but I couldn't sleep. I had to do _something._

I walked back into the living room and grabbed my weapons off the floor. "Where ya goin'?"

The slurred voice surprised me. "Raph," I realized. "I didn't know you were awake."

He didn't answer for a moment. "Can't sleep."

I sat down on the arm of the chair and studied him for a minute. He was laying on the couch, and he didn't move. Finally, he breathed deep. "You goin' somewhere?" he whispered.

"Yeah," I sighed. "Somewhere."

"Don't know where?"

"No."

"Didn't think so."

"Why'd you ask?"

In the faint light, I thought I saw him smile faintly. "It's my job to harrass you and give you migranes, Leo."

I considered that for a moment. Any other time, it might have seemed like a humorous irony. I was the one who was always harrassing him, and I knew that as well as he did. Though the migrane comment was right on the money. I pushed the comment aside. It required too much thinking.

"I'm just going out," I mumbled. "I'll be back in a few hours."

"That what you want me to tell Splinter?"

He almost sounded like he was taunting me. But I couldn't be sure. "Tell him whatever you want," I answered. "I'll probably be back before he gets up anyhow."

"Be careful, Leo," he warned, breathing deeply.

I didn't answer.

****

ANNA:

"Excuse me?"

The man turned around. His face was streaked with dirt and sweat, and for a moment I reconsidered my interruption. He looked exhausted. I felt bad about asking him to do more than he already was doing. But he smiled warmly at me. "You must be Miss Anna," he greeted with a thick southern accent

I stared at him, a little shocked. "I..." I stammered as he set a paper cup filled with water on the table. Volunteers for the Red Cross and the fire department swarmed around us. "Uh, yes."

"It's a pleasure to meet you ma'am. I'd shake your hand, but I'm a little dirty."

"How do you know my name?"

He laughed quietly. "Why don't tell me I seen more of the news coverage than you have!" he laughed. "Seems they're callin' you a heroine, gettin' all them kids outta there."

My jaw dropped. "Well, they... I mean, I didn't really..."

"Word has it, if not for you and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, _nobody _would've survived that explosion," he informed me. "What you did was very smart, and very brave."

For the first time since the world had fallen apart, I thought of the creature that had suggested the PA system, and broken the door down to get there. I remembered another one pulling me out of the building and holding me back as I tried to return. They had tripped me when I broke away. They had saved my life. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Funny, I had thought them only urban legend until now.

"All the girls from the orphanage mention your name when they talk about gettin' outta that building," he continued when I couldn't find words. "The press been tryin' to talk to ya. Surprised you don't know about it!"

I shook my head. "I had no idea."

"Well, maybe they just havin' a hard time tryin' to track you down. Anyhow, what can I do for ya?"

I tried to clear my thoughts and remember what I'd wanted to ask him. "Um... I'm looking for a metal box in the wreckage," I stammered. "I don't know if it could've possibly survived, but if you find it... It's about the size of a piece of paper and maybe two inches deep."

He nodded. "I will certainly keep my eye out for it, ma'am."

I smiled. "Thank you."

"My pleasure."

****

LEONARDO:

The shades on the window were drawn back. The artificial lighting inside made everything glow with a sort of surreal look against the near-dawn background. Miss Anna spoke to an older woman, then smiled faintly at a sleeping child on the bed. The older woman left.

I leaned back on my arms, balancing carefully on the ledge of the building. I watched with some interest as Miss Anna stood over the child, brushing her hair away from her face. Finally, she walked to the window and sat on the ledge, looking out into the darkness. I raised one knee and rested my wrist on it, absently drumming my fingers. Miss Anna seemed as if she were in a deep trance, running her fingers through her damp hair every so often as if to assure herself that her body still had feeling. Her eyes slid closed and she leaned her forehead against the pane of glass, sighing deeply.

There was something about her. Something I could not put my finger on. I had hardly spoken to her, but I knew that I would forever be able to pick her out of a crowd of people. It was more than a visual familiarity; she didn't look like anyone I knew. I knew I had never seen her before. How could I have? We didn't have many outside contacts. But still, something about her...

Down at the hospital entrance, the news media clamored to get more information. One of the children had thrown the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles into the mix and a big story turned _giant_. And much more controversial. Those who didn't cheer us blamed us. Some of them even speculated we made have _placed _the bomb, for a chance to put on a show and pretend to be heroes. It made me furious, so I left them to their work and went on with mine. I couldn't change people, no matter how much I wanted to. We couldn't possibly win every heart in New York City.

Miss Anna left the window and returned again, braiding her hair. I watched her carefully. She was pretty. I wanted to talk to her, but I knew that wasn't wise. At least not at this point. Maybe never. 

The sky rumbled low. I looked up and saw that the clouds had moved from the horizon to directly overhead. I sighed and stood up. The sun would rise soon and I needed to get back.


	11. Admission of Guiltlessness

****

ADMISSION OF GUILTLESSNESS

September 2, 1974

YOSHI:

"Yoshi?"

I glanced to the door. "Come in."

She stepped into my room and stared at me with a puzzled expression on her face. "You are wearing weapons around your neck," she observed.

I smiled faintly. "_Hai_. I'm aware of it."

"Do you know how to use _nunchakus_?"

I nodded once. "I know how to use many weapons."

She knelt beside me, at the edge of my bed. "You learned in Japan?"

__

"Hai."

She studied me carefully. "You were a _sensei_," she guessed.

I cocked my head slightly to the side, amused by her perception. There was a moment of silence as she waited for confirmation. "I was the master teacher of a _ninja _clan," I admitted.

Her eyes widened slightly, and she bowed her head in reverence. "I am sorry. I did not know."

I smiled, though I knew she could not see it. "If I had wanted my position to influence our friendship, I would have mentioned it earlier."

She bowed lower. "I understand, Yoshi-sama."

I sighed her name and slipped my fingers under her chin, raising her eyes to mine. "You act as if you have suddenly found yourself sharing a room with royalty." I brushed her hair back. "It is a title I no longer hold, and respect which I no longer deserve."

She relaxed slowly as she considered my words. "And is that why you left Japan?"

I nodded slightly. "What...?" She did not finish. Her eyes fell and she quieted. "I am sorry," she whispered. "I speak out of place."

I laughed quietly. "That has never bothered you before," I reminded her.

She blushed, but said nothing. I considered ending the conversation here and now, but decided against it. There was no point in withholding the truth from her any longer. "I had a student," I explained quietly. "His name was Oroku Saki. He was my best student and I had taught him... for many years."

She watched me, her eyes searching, but said nothing. "He sought to usurp my leadership of the foot clan," I continued. "But he knew that he could not defeat me in battle. So he made it look as if I were making an attempt to kill a teacher of much higher rank who came to visit us. I was banished from the foot clan, and Saki no doubt took my place. The _sensei's_ students, I am sure, seek my life. Such a threat is not looked upon favorably."

She reached up and brushed the side of my face. "Oh Yoshi, I thought it was something you had done," she whispered.

SAKURA:

"I think, in a way, my exile from Japan has worked in my favor."

I turned to the man who was absently picking at the rug, surprised by his sudden optimism. For more than an hour, we had been talking. His resolve had been the same throughout that time. This was somewhat unexpected. "In what way?"

"Well," he started. He reclined on his side, propping his head on his elbow. "If my student had never betrayed me, I would have continued to live a life I was comfortable in, and never sought anything more." He found my hand and laced our fingers together. "I never would have met you, and I would have died without once falling in love."

I stared at him, surprised by his words. He was a good deal older than I and he had never made love? "You have never been with a woman?" I asked, eyes wide. The words escaped my mouth before I could consider whether or not they were appropriate.

"I..." he started. He laughed slightly as he looked away. "That is not what I said."

"So you have," I smiled slyly. "And you act as if you are embarrassed."

He laughed, but did not reply. I reached up and placed a hand on his cheek, turning his eyes back to mine. "Why?" she asked.

He seemed to search for an explanation. Finally, he took my hand, lowering it from his face. "My father sent me away when I was eight and from that point on, I lived and breathed the martial arts."

"Sent you away?" I questioned, confused.

He sighed. "To a ryu where I lived at the school and learned _ninjutsu _as well as math and language." He brushed the side of my face lightly. "There was little tolerance for error and it was a very high-stress environment. I took my training very seriously and perhaps that added to the tension even more. So I sought the fastest way to alleviate that tension. And as a teenager, I was with many women."

I laughed quietly. "That is hard for me to believe."

He looked away. "I am not proud of it," he mumbled. "And I rarely think of it. I was only a child, and I have changed a great deal since then."

"I would say so," I chuckled. He smiled faintly and there was a moment of silence. Finally, I reached up and brushed his hair back from his forehead. "If you had not left Japan, you would not have fallen in love," I repeated quietly, teasing him. "Is that to say that you are in love with me?"

"I am very much in love with you, Sakura," he whispered, studying me carefully.

"Truly?"

"_Hai_."

I smiled as I sat up. He rose next to me. For a long time, neither one of us spoke. The air turned serious between us as a million thoughts flooded my mind, and my smile fell. I swallowed hard and touched my fingers to Yoshi's forehead. 

"My ex-husband was the only man I was ever with," I admitted, almost afraid to break the silence. I ran her fingers lightly down his cheek. "And he was very..." I pressed my palm to the side of his neck as I sought words. "... cruel, and selfish..." 

I stared at him and felt my heartbeat quicken as I realized what was happening. I could feel the intensity creeping into my soul, and making my body react with hot flashes and strange tinglings. I could see the look in his eyes reflect the feeling in the pit of my stomach. My fingers inched upward until they were buried in his silken hair. 

"I don't think I've ever really..." I massaged his scalp gently and my other hand found his, tangling our fingers together. "... made love."

He closed his eyes and took a slow breath. "Nor have I," he whispered.

Our lips brushed as I guided his hand around my waist. He watched me, barely breathing. "I've never felt..." I breathed, barely audible over the beating of our hearts. Our lips met and we kissed quickly, only slightly more than what might be considered chaste. "... passion."

The word sent a jolt of electricity down my spine. He kissed me again and left his lips resting against mine. I could taste his warm breath as he whispered quietly. "Then let me be the first." 

OROKU SAKI:

"Hamato Yoshi is still alive," I mumbled.

"That is not possible," Kentaro answered, sounding surprised. "Takahashi's students surely would have found him by now."

I remained silent. I had heard nothing from my foot soldiers in America, and yet I knew. I knew that he was alive and well. The thought sent a wave of anger through me.

"Why does he trouble you so much, _Sensei_? Surely he is no threat to you. You have eliminated any threat his loyal students might have posed, and he has no family. Why would he ever return to our country?"

"I do not fear his return, Kentaro-san," I answered. "But I do not find comfort in the fact that he still lives."

"Why is that?"

His threat still rang in my ears, haunting my dreams. _"If I were to focus my attention on another student, Oroku Saki... even at my age..."_ Those words would remain with me until he was gone. And as my students, in addition to Takahashi's, could not find him, it looked as if the responsibility was mine.

"I am going to America," I informed my head student.

His eyes widened. "What? You cannot leave!"

I turned to him. "I can not rest until I put an end to Yoshi," I whispered. "When that is accomplished, I will return. Until then, I leave the foot clan in your safe-keeping."

"_Iie_," he protested. "I will go with you!"

I studied him for a moment. "_Iie, Kentaro_," I mumbled. "But if my search proves difficult, I will send for you."

****

YOSHI:

"What troubles you?"

I sighed, running my fingers through the woman's silky hair. Her head was resting on my chest, and I had not been sure if she was awake. "I am only thinking."

She kissed my skin and snuggled closer to me under the warm blankets. "Of what are you thinking?" she whispered.

I raked my nails lightly over her scalp, lost in thought. "You know, I have worked my entire life to attain a single goal," I whispered into the darkness. "I have forsaken a wife, a family... _everything _to pursue the martial arts. I spent so many years, moving from one _dojo _to the next, learning everything I could with one goal in mind. And when I finally acheived it after forty-three years..." I paused, choking on his words. They hurt fiercely, even though the wound was no longer fresh. "Everything I worked for was stolen by my student. In five minutes, my whole world was taken from me."

She was quiet for a moment. Then she sat up and placed her hands on either side of my face. "You are an amazing man, Yoshi," she informed me. "But if you do not stop feeling sorry for yourself, your life is as good as over."

"My life _is _over," I relented.

She sighed, sounding annoyed. "Oh, Yoshi, stop it," she chastized, a little more harshly than I was comfortable with.

"What would you have me to do?" I demanded, slightly irritated with her. "I cannot go back to Japan."

"You _need _not go back to Japan. Find your life here, in America."

I said nothing. Such a thing was simply not possible. To stay nameless and faceless, dead to the world, was the only way that I would not be found. It was the only way that I would survive. My life was over, and I was an outcast to every life that remained, save Sakura's. 

She lay down next to me again. "Yoshi, I love you very much. But to remain here with you for the rest of my days with no purpose and no direction... that is not life. Not for me or you."

"What would you have me to do?" I asked again.

"You say you gave your life to the martial arts, so pursue them."

"In America?" I laughed. "Sakura, I will never find a man more advanced than I am in this country."

"I wasn't suggesting that you learn, Yoshi," she answered. "I was suggesting that you _teach_."

I looked away. "_Iie_," I whispered. "I could never teach again."

"Why not?"

I was quiet for a moment, trying to think of an easy way to explain to her a feeling that I could not put words to. "I have no faith in my students, Sakura."

"You have no faith in Oroku Saki; what does that have to do with every other student who has learned from you?"

I pushed myself onto my elbows and looked away, resisting the urge to glare at her for her harsh words. I was quite sure that she didn't realize the sensitivity of the nerves she was prodding. "Oroku Saki was my best student," I tried to explain. "My protégé. He was like a son until he turned on me. That is not something one easily forgets."

She reached up and placed her hand on my cheek, turning my face to her again. "I am not asking you to forget, Yoshi," she whispered. "I am only asking you to give yourself another chance at life."


	12. Injuries

****

INJURIES

1995

8 Hours, 39 Minutes

****

SPLINTER:

"Are you in much pain?" I asked.

Donatello sighed deeply. "I'm okay. I just... I think my arm might be broken. Er, fractured. Not really broken."

"What's the difference?" Michaelangelo asked, staring down at the bandages around his arm.

"Hairline fracture doesn't cut all the way through the bone," Donatello explained. "It doesn't need to be set or casted, really. I just gotta be careful not to do too much with this arm because the bone will break easily along that crack." He cringed slightly as he moved his arm to his lap. "And it hurts like hell."

I handed him the cup in my hands and he took it gratefully, leaning back against the chair. His eyes closed and he relaxed. "_Sensei_?" 

I turned. "Yes, Raphael?"

"How long you gonna keep us here before we can go kick his ass?"

I glared at the defiant look on my student's face. "You are weak and injured and in no condition to fight the Shredder."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," he answered coldly. "That's why I asked. When?"

"Raph, knock it off," Donatello sighed. "Just take a few days off, okay? It won't kill you."

"Fuck you."

"_Iie_," I shot. "Stop now."

They glared at each other for a moment. Raphael looked away first. "Sorry, Master," he mumbled half-heartedly.

I inspected the wound on his shoulder. "You must be careful, Raphael," I warned. "In your weakened state, your anger could be very detrimental to you."

He said nothing, but cringed slightly as I prodded at the deep cut. It was not infected as of yet, and that was good. I rewrapped it and stepped back. "Where is Leonardo?" I was well aware that he was the only one of my four students I had not seen this morning.

"In the _dojo_," Michaelangelo slurred, flipping through channels on the television without stopping long enough to allow the sound to begin.

"He's been there all morning," Donatello added.

The words concerned me. Leonardo knew better than to exert himself when he was wounded. I hoped he was not practicing.

Leonardo was in the _dojo_, but he was not practicing. He was sitting on the mat, eyes closed but not in meditation. He was not concentrating; he seemed to be trying to relax. His eyes opened slowly and followed the edge of the mat and back, for no particular reason. Though he was not trying to concentrate, it was perfectly obvious that something was consuming his thoughts.

"What are you thinking, Leonardo?"

He looked up, startled. "Oh," he stammered. "_Sensei_. I didn't hear you come in."

"You are deeply troubled."

He forced a smile. "Not... troubled really," he struggled. "I mean, I am but... I wasn't thinking about that."

I sat down on the floor beside him, curling my legs and tail underneath me. "What were you thinking?"

He shook his head slightly, and breathed deep. "There was... a woman there," he whispered. "She called herself Miss Anna." He looked up and met my eyes. "She talked to the children over the PA system. Told them what to do. I had to pull her from the building because she didn't want to leave."

"She sounds very dedicated," I observed.

"_Hai_," he sighed, looking away. "And I can't..." He struggled to find words to explain what he did not understand. "I can't stop thinking about her," he continued, turning to stare at me again. "Not like... I'm interested in her or anything but... Well, yes, I am, but not a relationship. It's just... I can't shake this weird feeling like I know her from somewhere."

"Perhaps you have met her before."

He shook his head. "_Iie_. I haven't. I would remember... when I'm trying so hard to."

"Perhaps you should try _less _hard."

He sighed and stared down at the floor. "_Hai_," he breathed. "Perhaps."

****

ANNA:

"Anna? Oh, Anna, wake up, dear."

I moaned softly as I woke up. I realized that I was in pain. "Ow," I moaned, raising my hand to the back of my neck. It was cramped terribly.

"Anna, wake up. The doctor wants to have a look at you."

I felt sunlight in my eyes and realized that I had fallen asleep at the window. What time was it? "Oh, Mrs. Collins, I'm fine," I mumbled, trying to rub out the kink in my neck. "I don't need a doctor."

"Well, he wants to see you anyways. Now wake up. Why are you over here? You should sleep in bed."

I glanced at the clock as the world came into focus. It was almost one in the afternoon. I sat up, pushing away from the wall, and moaned slightly. "Is Samantha awake?"

"Yes, dear."

I managed a smile as I exhaled a deep sigh of relief. "Good. That's good."

"Anna Palmer?"

I looked up and saw a man in a light blue uniform with a white jacket stepping into the room. He was an older man, with slightly graying hair and dark eyes. He wore a stethescope around his neck and had a clipboard in his hand. "Yes, that's me," I answered hesitantly.

"I'm Dr. Allens. How are you feeling today?"

I ran my fingers through my hair. "I'm okay."

"You look like you got some pretty bad cuts there," he pointed out. I looked down at my knees. They were scraped, but a few of the cuts were deeper.

"I... fell," I stammered.

He nodded. "I see. Have you thought of maybe putting some kind of antibiotic on them before they get infected?"

I stared at him. In all that had happened in the past twelve hours, the thought hadn't even crossed my mind. "No, I... I haven't yet."

He smiled warmly. "Are you allergic to any medications, Ms. Palmer?"

I shook my head mutely. "Well, we're going to get you all fixed up, okay?" he smiled. "Are you having any pain anywhere?"

AMY:

My head hurt. Even though it was dark in here, the little bit of light still hurt my eyes. "Amy?"

I opened my eyes, forgetting the pain. "Miss Anna!" I cried. The sound of my own voice made the pain worse, and I clutched my head. "Oh!"

Miss Anna walked to the edge of the bed and sat down. Kristie and Louise wandered over from their cots in the corner and hugged her. "What's this for?" Miss Anna asked, embracing them both.

"We love you, Miss Anna," Kristie told her.

Miss Anna smiled and brushed her fingers through their matted hair. "I love you too, girls," she whispered. She looked up at me. "And I love you, Amy."

Kristie and Louise weren't hurt. They'd been far enough away when the building blew up to not get hurt by it. I'd been across the street. Nichole, in the bed next to me, had been in the middle of the street. She had only woken up for a little while, and the doctors gave her medicine to make her go back to sleep, so she wouldn't hurt so much. One of her legs had been crushed by a car.

"Will you tell us a story, Miss Anna?" I asked.

"Yes, a happy story!" Louise cried, excited. Louise was only five. Kristie was six. I was eleven, and had known Miss Anna before she became a "Miss." She had been like my sister, when she was a child in the orphanage. 

She smiled and brushed Kristie's hair back. "Okay," she relented. "Go see if anyone else wants to hear. But be quiet. This is a hospital."

They ran from the room, giggling quietly. Miss Anna turned to me. "How do you feel, Amy?" she asked.

I nodded slightly. "I'm okay I guess," I answered quietly. "My head hurts real bad, but they say I should be okay."

She smiled. "You're a brave girl."

"Miss Anna Palmer?"

Anna and I turned to the voice at the door. A man covered in dust and wearing a firefighter's uniform stepped into the room. "Yes?" Miss Anna asked.

"I have something for you," he grinned. He stepped forward and held out a small gray box. It was badly dented, but sealed. The lock looked broken. It would be easy to pry open. "I heard you were looking for something kind of like this."

Miss Anna smiled as she took the box. "Yes," she sighed. "Thank you so much."

The man nodded, then left. Anna studied the box for a moment, then set it on the chair. "What is it?" I asked.

She smiled faintly at me. "A treasure box."

****

RAPHAEL:

"They're keeping people at the hospitals," Leo informed us. He'd been out most of the morning; nobody knew where. Nobody really cared right now. "Hurt or not. They've also got them in homeless shelters and places like that. Who knows what's gonna happen to them when they have to leave."

"Well, they can't very well throw all those children out on the street," Mike snapped, his voice cold.

"But they can't keep them in the hospital forever," Donatello sighed.

I closed my eyes, and listened to the brief bickering, surprised that for once, I wasn't a part of it. Donatello left. I opened my eyes again and stared up at the ceiling. I'd been on this couch most of the day. It hurt to walk. Not that that would've stopped me if I'd had someplace to _go_, but I didn't. So I lay here. 

I watched TV... but all I saw was news about the recovery efforts, whose body they'd pulled out and how many they figured were incinerated. I slept... but I dreamt of bleeding, dying children and decided that I wouldn't be sleeping anymore. I thought of Casey, wondered if he was out of the hospital... and thought of the infants who _were _in the hospital, drugged on morphine and god-knows-what-else. And they were the lucky ones. I decided that thinking was dangerous, and resorted to just staring blankly at the walls and ceiling.

"You should probably change that," Leo advised.

I glanced at him and saw him nod toward Michaelangelo's bandaged arm. Mike glared at him, and stood up carefully. He walked to the bathroom, and shut the door behind him. Leonardo sighed and turned to me. "Don't tell me you're the only one who's _not _gonna storm out of the room and slam doors."

I smiled faintly. "I'm too tired, Leo."

He walked to the nearby chair that Mike had left and flopped down. I watched him for a moment. "Where've you been?" I asked quietly, surprising myself with my tranquility. Ordinarily, we threw these issues back and forth at each other like grenades.

He closed his eyes. "Just... out," he whispered. "Tryin' to deal with this." He shrugged pathetically. "I got nowhere to go, really, but I can't stay here. I'm surprised you can."

I studied my brother closely. Never in my entire life had I seen him look so defeated. I looked away. Something about that was distinctly wrong, and I didn't feel like I should be witnessing it. "I wish April was back," he mumbled. "She might be able to tell us what the city's talking about as far as what's going to happen to them."

"She'll be back tomorrow."

"Good."

I considered that for a moment. "The news media's having a field day with this," I mumbled. "Especially that one jackass anchor."

"Which one?"

"The one for the morning show, who sits on the edge of his seat and eats up every gory detail he can pry out of victims. I don't remember his name."

"Oh, _that _one," Leo smiled.

I closed my eyes and let my head loll to one side. "He drives me up the fucking wall," I sighed.

"He's just callused," Leonardo defended, although I could tell his heart wasn't really in the argument.

"No, April is callused," I corrected. "That guy's a fucking moron."

He didn't answer.

The bathroom door opened. "There's no more goddamn dressing to change this," Mike informed, his voice cold and unfeeling. I stared at him for a moment. He had tears on his cheeks, and he didn't try to hide them.

"I'll get some," Leonardo sighed. "You shouldn't be doing that on your own anyway."

That wasn't the answer Mike wanted. "Fuck you."

I would've been surprised if I were still capable. Michaelangelo walked to his room and slammed the door. I stared at it for a moment, then at the still figure on the chair. "Leo?"

"Yeah?"

"This is ridiculous."

"What is?"

"The way we're all acting." He looked up at me, but said nothing. "I'm supposed to be the one tellin' you to fuck off, not Mikey."

He smiled faintly. "Gee, thanks."

I shook my head. I didn't mean it to be funny. "We're all..." I searched for a word.

"Numb?" he offered.

"Yeah," I sighed.

He closed his eyes. "It'll go away."

"When?"

"I don't know. But it has to eventually." He opened his pain-filled eyes and stared at me. "Right?"


	13. Oroku Saki

****

OROKU SAKI

September 21, 1974

****

YOSHI:

The feeling was strong, and had been building for weeks. It was so strong that I feared its intensity. It guided me, and only Sakura stood in the way. "You are being foolish, Hamato-san!" she cried as I retrieved a handful of _shurieken_ and dropped them into my belt. "What do you hope to accomplish aside from getting yourself killed?"

I turned and glared at her. "He was my student," I reminded her. "He knows nothing more than what I myself taught him."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "And if you are killed? What am I to do then?"

I stared at her. "If Oroku Saki is here, he is in search of me. And he will not hesitate to kill anyone who stands between us. Including you."

"I doubt that he came halfway across the world in search of you," she returned. 

"You doubt because you do not know him, Sakura."

"Of course I do not; I only know what you will tell me!"

I turned away from her and she grabbed my shoulder. I spun to face her again, surprised. "You will not leave me," she informed. "And if you do, you will not find me here when you return."

I was shocked by her boldness. "Where will you go?" I challenged.

"Back to Japan, perhaps," she suggested. "Or perhaps to a homeless shelter here in New York; I care very little at this point."

"You would not," I answered confidently.

"It would not be the first time, Yoshi-san."

For an instant, I was stunned. "You told me you were forced to leave your husband," I reminded her, feeling anger creep into the deepest of my emotions.

"I told you that he divorced me and that I found myself on the streets with nothing, I did not say in what order."

The look on her face was one of stone. She watched me with an intense look in her eyes. I was not sure what to say. "What is more important to you, Yoshi?" she demanded after a moment of silence. "Me? Or Saki?"

****

YOSHI:

I sat quietly on the blankets that were strewn over the floor in the small room. An oil lamp burned nearby, and shadows danced over the wall. I watched them with feigned interest, my thoughts racing. Hours of meditation had not calmed the frantic feeling deep inside of me. I was itching for a fight. I frowned as I considered that. No, it wasn't the fight I craved. It was the outcome. To be done with Oroku Saki forever. To never hear his name in my thoughts again, and never have to worry about him or what evil plans he might be concocting.

I felt her enter the room; she did not knock. She moved almost soundlessly across the cold cement floor to my bed, and knelt beside me. I did not acknowledge her. 

"You are angry with me," she realized. "For what I said earlier. About Saki?"

I hesitated, then sighed. "I can not be angry with you, Sakura. You only speak that way because you do not understand."

I could hear the sadness in my own voice, and I was sure she could hear it as well. She untied the robe draped around her and moved behind me, enveloping me in its warmth. I felt her breasts against my back, as I was without a shirt, and my skin warmed slowly. She kissed my neck, and rested her head on my shoulder. "I apologize, Yoshi," she whispered. 

I closed my eyes. "It is no matter," I sighed. "You have already been forgiven."

She considered that for a moment, and nuzzled against me. "If that is true, why are you not in bed sleeping?"

"I can not sleep," I informed quietly. "He plagues my sleep, even after all this time." 

She breathed deep and hugged her arms around me more tightly. "I am so sorry, Yoshi," she breathed.

I shook my head slightly. "It is not your fault, Sakura-chan. There are times when I think I will never rest until he is dead."

She kissed along my collarbone, leaning over me to reach the front of my neck. "Must it always end in death and violence?" she pleaded.

I turned my eyes to her and she pulled away slightly to look at me. "Oroku Saki will not stop breeding evil until he is dead."


	14. The Dead and the Dying

****

THE DEAD AND THE DYING

August 29, 1995

19 Hours, 12 Minutes

****

ANNA:

I sat on the fire escape, watching the rescue and recovery crews sift through the wreckage across the street. Thirty-two children were still missing. They had found several children alive in the wreckage, and one dead. Three had died at the hospital, and there was only one more who was likely to pass. It had now been more than twenty-one hours since the bomb had gone off. Time was running out for anyone who might still be alive among the pile of brick and debris. Rescue crews were trying to remain optimistic, but no one really believed they would find anyone else alive.

I leaned my head against the brick wall, and cried silent tears, watching the volunteers work diligently under the bright lights they'd set up. I would help them if they'd let me. But they had asked everyone to stay away from the wreckage. So I could only watch in the glowing light, and mourn as they found teddy bears and body parts. It made me sick to my stomach.

I closed my eyes and bowed my head. "I'm so sorry, Kaylie," I whispered.

Her body was gone. Enough of it had been found to identify her. I felt a shiver run down my spine as I considered that I may have been the one to look over her cold, lifeless face if the Mrs. Collins hadn't done it first. She'd been identified, and now she'd be buried. Many of those children would never be found. And who would mourn for them? They had no mothers or fathers, grandparents, aunts and uncles. They had no one. Anger sparked in me. No one would ever miss them. Except for me.

"Who's Kaylie?"

I jumped and spun around, not entirely sure where the voice had come from. The flashlight rolled off the edge of the platform and shattered on the ground. "Who's there?" I demanded. "What do you want?"

"Over here."

My eyes darted to the speaker. He was sitting on the ledge of the wall that separated the two alley ways with his back against the wall. I recognized his figure almost immediately. "You!"

"Yes," he sighed. "You're not going to go running into the street screaming, are you?"

I considered that. "No," I finally answered. "I don't scare that easily."

"Good," he mumbled. He looked back to the working crews in the street, and said nothing.

He was quiet for a long time, watching the recovery efforts. Every so often, he raised a bottle of what looked like water to his lips. I watched him, not sure what to say, and looked back at the pile of rubble. He sighed deeply as he leaned his head back. It was as if I had suddenly disappeared. 

"Why are you spying on me?" I finally asked.

"I'm not," he answered quietly. "I'm watching them." He pointed toward the recovery crews crawling over the mountain of bricks and god-knows-what-else.

"How long have you been there?"

"A few hours," he answered, as if it were no big deal to him.

Somehow, I was only slightly surprised. "So you've been there the entire time? Watching me?"

"Like I said, I wasn't watching _you_, Miss Anna."

The name brought a painful smile to my face. "You know my name," I observed. "I don't know yours."

He was quiet for a moment. His silence made me nervous. Had I said something wrong? "Do you _have _a name?" I asked, sincerely.

"Leonardo," he answered quietly. 

The shadow of his head dropped and he stared down at the ground. My eyes had adjusted slightly, and I could see his feet and arm bandaged. "You can call me Anna," I whispered. "I figure we're on a first name basis, since you saved my life and all."

He didn't answer. He took another drink and looked out into the street. I followed his gaze, and listened to the sounds of the recovery effort. We said nothing for a long time. "You never answered my question," he reminded me, startling me for the second time.

"What question?" I asked, glancing back at him.

"Who's Kaylie?"

I swallowed hard. "A little girl," I whispered. "She... her body was found earlier."

There was a long pause. "I'm sorry."

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the brick wall opposite Leonardo. "It isn't your fault."

"Was she orphaned? Or here as a foster child?"

"She had no one," I sighed. "Her mother was murdered right in front of her. Guess I kinda related to her on a strange sort of psychic scale. I don't remember how my mother died, but I've had dreams and... I don't know. I just felt for her." He didn't speak. "I wish I could remember her more clearly, you know? But I don't really remember much of anything before the orphanage, and I was already four by then. But I remember she used to bring me a white rose from the bush next to our house whenever I had a really bad day." I paused as tears filled my eyes. "I didn't have very many bad days back then but... this sure qualifies. I don't think I've ever missed her as much as I do right now." I wiped my cheeks roughlywith the back of my hand. "Is it possible to miss someone you don't even remember?"

There was another long silence. I doubted he was listening. It didn't matter to me. I wasn't really talking to him anyway. I was thinking out loud, more than anything. He turned and lay on his stomach on the ten foot high ledge, his head turned toward the street, looking past me. He seemed distant. I watched him for a moment. "Are you okay?" I finally asked. "I mean... are you hurt bad? Or any of your brothers? They are your brothers, right?"

"Not technically," he mumbled. "But close enough."

"Are they okay?"

He sighed deeply. "Michaelangelo's got a bad burn on his arm and Don's got a fracture," he whispered. "Other than that, it's just cuts and bruises. To say nothing of all the..."

He stopped. I looked toward him. "Of what?" I questioned.

He hesitated, then sighed. "Of knowing that thirty-some children died in there and there was nothing we could do about it."

"Thirty-eight," I whispered, closing my eyes as I considered the stories of each and every one of those lives. "Maybe. Assuming they don't find any more alive, and the one who's critical and bleeding internally..."

He sighed, and paused for a moment before continuing. "And I still don't understand who he was after or why," Leonardo mumbled, more to himself that to me.

I sat up, noting his words. "_Who _was after?" I demanded. "You know who did this?"

He didn't answer for a few seconds. "I know who was ultimately responsible, yes."

"Who?" I cried. "Who would _do _such a thing!" I didn't give him a chance to answer if he'd wanted to. "Have you told the police?"

"If the police could stop this man, they would've done it long ago," he sighed. "This isn't exactly the first time he's taken innocent lives. It's just the first time he's done it so... massively."

He finished the sentence with a growl of frustration where no words would fit. I watched him silently for a moment. "You sound like you know him well," I observed.

"That man is the bane of my existence," he answered coldly. I wasn't entirely sure what to say to that, so I said nothing. "And if Shredder didn't get whatever the hell it was he wanted, he'll be back."

He sat up, as if he were preparing to go. "Wait!" I called. He paused and turned to me. For a moment, I was speechless. "I want to thank you," I finally managed, willing to say anything to keep him from leaving. It _was _true, but it came out rushed. "Thank you for saving my life."

He said nothing, and dropped soundlessly to the ground on the other side of the wall. Just like that, he was gone.

****

MICHAELANGELO:

The knock on the door seemed distant. I stared at it for a minute. "Whadda you want?" I called.

The handle turned and the door cracked open. Leo poked his head in. "How do you feel?" he asked.

"Fine," I answered coldly.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Good. Then come with me."

I stared at him for a minute, confused. "Why?"

"Just come on," he pleaded. "I want you to see something."

I stood reluctantly and walked to the door. He backed into the living room. "Where we goin'?" I asked. I didn't really care. Anywhere was better than here.

"You up to walking?" he asked. "Or should we take the...?"

He stopped as he remembered that the van had been crushed in the explosion. I sighed. "I can walk, Leo. I'm hurt but I'm not _dead_."

I followed him out of the lair and through the sewer tunnels in silence. We broke the surface in an alley, and I looked around. I wasn't entirely sure where we were, but I knew there was nothing here. "What're we doin' Leo?" I asked.

"Wait here a minute," he mumbled. "I gotta get something."

****

ANNA:

The firefighters couldn't possibly have known the effect that one stray kitten found alive and well at the wreckage would have on a room full of hurt, homeless children. But I saw it clearly enough. 

"What should we call him?"

"We should name him after the Turtles."

"Yeah, they saved us."

"But we don't know any of their names."

Christina turned to me. "Miss Anna, do you know their names?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but didn't have a chance. "No, silly, no one knows their names," Angela answered.

"I know," I quiet voice choked. All eyes turned to the little girl on the bed who was stroking the kitten.

"How?"

"I know," she repeated. "He telled me."

"What is it?" Kristie asked eagerly.

The little girl smiled. I studied her carefully, wondering if she really did know. "He say his name Mike."

__

"Michaelangelo's got a bad burn on his arm..."

The girls laughed, disbelieving. "I thought they would have funny names," Christina giggled.

"Well, maybe 'Mike' is just a nickname," I suggested.

"What his _real _name, Miss Anna?" LeAnne asked.

"Maybe... Michaelangelo?" I suggested.

"I like that!"

"Me too!"

"Let's name him Michaelangelo!"

"Yeah!"

I smiled. Suddenly, something brushed my ankle. I looked down, and saw a small, white rose resting near my foot. Confused memories flooded instantly. _"She used to bring me a white rose whenever I had a really bad day..." _I stared at the flower for a moment, then looked around for where it might have come from. The obvious answer was the open window. I stared at it, but nothing moved. The girls continued to giggle and talk as I picked up the rose and walked around the curtain that separated them from the other half of the room, which was dark and vacant. I could still hear the children clearly as I approached the window and stuck my head outside. I saw nothing.

A hand on my shoulder caused me to nearly jump out of my skin. I resisted the urge to scream as I spun around and found myself face-to-face with the figure I assumed was Leonardo. He held his finger to his lips. "Shh," he whispered. He paused and we stared at each other for a minute. "Close the door."

Behind him, I saw a nearly identical figure sitting on the edge of the bed, watching me closely. Where had they come from? They weren't there when I'd walked across the room! I backed away slowly, still clutching the rose. He'd taken the thorns off, just like my mother used to do. How did he know that? "_I didn't have very many bad days back then but... this sure qualifies."_

I looked back at him one last time, then walked back to the other side of the room and closed the door. "Miss Anna?" Louise asked. "Is something wrong?"

I held my fnger to my lips. "Shh..."

I wasn't heard by half the crowd of sixteen girls. "Quiet!" Amy ordered. "Miss Anna wants to talk."

They all stopped and turned to me. "I want you all to be very, very quiet," I whispered. "There's someone here to see you."

They gasped and giggled and looked at each other. "Really? Who?"

****

LEONARDO:

Mike stared down at the floor as Anna gave instructions. "Leo, I don't wanna do this," he mumbled, looking up at me.

"You need to, Mikey," I answered him quietly. "There's someone here who really wants to meet you."

"I'm just not in the mood for public appearances right now."

I said nothing, and he stood up. I gripped his arm, well above the burn. "_Don't _leave, Mike," I ordered. "You stay for thirty seconds. Then if you don't wanna stay, you can go."

A mild uproar came from the other side of the curtain. I measured the distance between it and the window and determined that it would take about two and a half seconds to get back outside. "Shh!"

They all hushed each other. I tuned into the conversation. "Are they _really _here, Miss Anna?"

"Yes," she whispered back. "But you've gotta be really _really_ quiet. They don't like loud noises. No talking above a whisper."

It got deathly silent. I squeezed Michaelangelo's arm and let him go as I walked to the curtain. He looked at me, then at the window, and followed me. I pulled the curtain aside slowly and there was a collective gasp as Anna and I both reminded the girls to stay quiet, our fingers to our lips. More than a dozen sets of wide eyes stared back at us. I glanced at my brother, and saw his stare locked with one child in particular: the little girl on the bed. 

She stared back. "Orange," she pointed at his bandana. Her voice was hoarse and barely audible. "You Mike?"

Tears filled Michaelangelo's eyes, and a smile crept across his lips as he nodded. "Yes," he whispered. "I'm Mike."

"Michaelangelo?" another girl questioned in a hushed tone.

He nodded again, dumbstruck. One of the older girls, though she was no more than ten, walked over to the orange tabby kitten at the foot of the bed, and picked it up. "We named our kitty after you."

Mike laughed, and tears began streaming from his eyes.


	15. Infinity

****

INFINITY

October 11, 1974

YOSHI:

I climbed the thin rope up the outside of the metal wall and pried the window open with one hand. I grabbed onto the frame and swung into the building, landing quietly on the thin rafters. I retrieved the rope without a sound and climbed over to the other side of the room, directly above the men who hadn't seen me. I tied the rope to the rafter beside me. 

There was a man on either side of the door and one in the middle. I inspected them carefully. They were not _ninjas_, only hired help from their appearance. They held guns, but otherwise did not pose a threat to me. I was much less interested in them than I was in the black-clad figure that walked into the room they were guarding. I could not tell, on first inspection, if the man was Saki or one of his students. But I knew he was a _ninja _of the foot clan from his attire. I was inclined to believe that it was Saki himself, but I did not know for sure. 

I measured the rope carefully so that I would have just enough, and grabbed onto it. Then I swung down to the floor. I hit the man who was in front of the door right in the chest and he went flying backward, through the doorway and into the room. I followed right behind him, and let go of the rope as I landed silently, inches from my adversary. This close to him, I now knew he was not Saki. But I also knew that he would lead me to him.

The _ninja _jumped back. The man that had been at the door flew into two other men who were kneeling at a gray safe. They looked up just in time to see him and did not have nearly the required time to get out of the way. Besides those three, there were four men in the room. The two from outside the door would be coming in, too. All of them would be armed, I was sure.

I glared at the _ninja _for a moment, in silent warning. He made no move toward me, and I turned my attention to his thugs. I kicked at the man closest to me before he had a chance to reach for his gun. He reeled backward and slammed into the wall. I ducked away as one of the guns began firing. Scanning the room instinctively, I found the offending weapon and attacked the man faster than he could realize he was being attacked. 

I darted out of the room, and disappeared behind a large piece of machinery. The shooting had stopped. They were confused as to where I might have gone. Having announced my presence, I was free to operate in the way I was most comfortable. I hid and waited silently. 

One of the men was approaching, looking around carefully. But he could not see me. I waited until he was only a few feet away before lashing out. I quickly found the necessary pressure points, and he fell unconscious in less time than it took him to make a sound. 

I attacked them, one by one. Each one of them fell, until I was alone with the student from my own clan. "Hamato Yoshi, I presume," he greeted, his voice cold.

"You know why I am here," I answered. "Do not make this any more difficult than it must be already."

"Oroku-sensei is not here," he informed me. "But if you wish, I will make your visit not a total waste."

He lunged at me and I ducked away easily. He was not as well-trained as he esteemed himself, and that made the fight most unfair, with the odds in my favor. He delivered a roundhouse kick in my direction, and I dropped, kicking his legs out from under him, before his attack had been halfway executed. As he crashed to the floor, I crouched next to him, my knee in his chest, a dagger at his throat. He did not move.

"Tell Oroku Saki to go back to Japan," I growled. "He has no business in this country. And if I see you again, I will kill you."

****

SAKURA:

I awoke slowly, knowing something was wrong. Beside me, the bed was empty and cold. I sat up and looked into the darkness, holding the blanket to my chest. "Yoshi?"

"I am here."

I was startled by the nearness of his voice. He was no more than ten feet away, sitting on the floor. As my eyes adjusted, I could see the faint outline of his form against a dim, flickering candle light. "What are you doing?" I asked. "It is the middle of the night!"

He did not answer. "Are you not well?" I asked. Again, he did not speak. "It is Saki?" His eyes closed slowly in silent answer. "Oh, Yoshi." 

I crawled out of bed and took the blanket with me across the icy floor. At his side, I curled into a ball and nuzzled against him. He sighed, but did not move. "Yoshi, please try to sleep," I begged him.

He was silent for a long time, then he turned to me and smiled faintly. It was not forced, and not feigned. It was as if he had somehow taken his mind off of the thoughts that troubled him. His smile broadened as he looked at me, and he finally pulled away. I watched as he stood and offered me a hand. I accepted and he pulled me easily to my feet. "Come with me," he invited, exercising the little English that he knew. He could understand almost fluently, but he spoke very little in proper form. 

"Where are we going?"

He only smiled. I knew he understood me, but he did not answer. He took my hands and walked backward toward the door. The blanket fell from my shoulders, leaving me exposed. "Yoshi, let me get dressed first!" I laughed, realizing that he intended to lead me out of the lair.

He spun behind me and enveloped me in his arms, his arms crossed over my chest. "I will keep you warm."

I attempted to wriggle away, but his grip was far too strong. "Yoshi, it is not appropriate to walk around the city streets naked regardless of what country you're in," I informed him sarcastically.

He laughed quietly. "I understood very little of that," he whispered against the side of my face.

"Apparently," I mumbled under my breath.

He pulled away slightly, a confused expression on his face. I turned and draped my arms over his shoulders, bringing our lips together. We kissed long and slow, and I felt his hands roam over my back. "Either allow me to put some clothes on, or I will stay here with them off."

He smiled as he considered that. "Both sound appealing."

I pushed away from him. "Yoshi!"

He laughed and took my hands. "Get dressed, then. I want you to see something."

****

YOSHI:

She stared up at the millions of stars in the sky, awestricken by their beauty. I had known she would be when I first saw them. I knew, also, that it was what I needed to take my thoughts off of Oroku Saki. The universe was so much larger than the two of us. But at times, my perspective got skewed, and I forgot how small the two of us really were.

"They are so beautiful," Sakura whispered.

"_Hai_," I agreed, running my fingers through her soft hair. "They are infinite."

She smiled up at the dark sky. She was so beautiful in the pale moonlight. "I had almost forgotten that such a vast expanse exists," she breathed.

I brushed my fingers over the side of her face, and through her hair again. "The bright city lights blind us," I agreed. "You must rise above them to see the sky."

"Surely no artist could capture this sight and paint it quite so beautifully."

I smiled. "_Iie_," I agreed. "Though I am certain many have tried."

__

I rested my head beside hers on my arm, and she turned to me. We stared at each other for a long moment before I looked back to the sky. She pulled closer, tucking her head under my chin. She nuzzled closer to keep warm, and for a long time there was no movement between us. "They are fascinating," I murmured to myself. "To think that each of those stars are so much further away than we could fathom. That it takes the light billions of years to reach our eyes."

"_Hai_," she whispered.

I buried my face in her hair and she laughed quietly as my nose brushed her ear. "It begs the question," I whispered into her ear, "what will our children's children see when they look up at these same stars, that has happened so many millions of years ago?"

She did not answer. After a moment, she pulled away from me. I brushed her stubborn hair back from her face. "You are very beautiful, Sakura-chan," I whispered. "Do you know that?"

She smiled and welcomed me as I kissed her. "_Ai shiteru_," she whispered against my lips.


	16. Invitation

****

INVITATION

August 29, 1995

21 Hours, 53 Minutes

ANNA:

"They adore you," I observed, smiling as Michaelangelo tickled three-year-old Jenny mercilessly. Two of the older girls jumped on top of him, and he gagged as he was dragged backward. 

I stepped forward, but Leo rested a hand on my shoulder, stopping me from interfering. "Mikey can handle himself," he assured me, a broad smile on his face.

"I just don't want anyone to get hurt," I laughed nervously.

"He won't hurt them," he promised. "He's careful."

"I was more worried about _him_," I smiled.

"Ack!" Mikey cried reaching dramatically toward his brother. "Leo! Save me!"

I laughed, unable to contain myself. So much for being quiet. We'd already had the nurses come in here twice to make sure everything was okay. Both times, Leo and Mike and disappeared in the blink of an eye. Leaving every one of us wondering where they'd disappeared to. 

Leonardo crossed his arms over his plastron and grinned at his brother. "Sorry, Mike," he answered. "Mutant monsters, alien life forms... that I can handle. But you're on your own this time."

"Noooo!" he moaned dramatically. "Goodbye cruel world!"

I smiled as Abby wandered over to us. She was only two, and she had decided that the playing had gotten a little too rough for her. She wrapped her arms around Leonardo's knee and watched the "dying" turtle in the midst of all the giggling girls. "Hey," Leo greeted. She looked up, and smiled, but didn't try to talk. Leonardo crouched next to her. "What's your name?"

The little girl looked up at me, suddenly shy. "Well, tell him," I laughed.

She smiled and batted her lashes as she looked down, grinding the toe of her shoe into the tile floor. "Um," she stammered. "Abby."

"That's a pretty name," Leo told her, brushing her long bangs out of her eyes. She needed a haircut. "And you're a very pretty girl, you know that?"

She smiled broadly, but kept looking down. "How old are you, Abby?"

With some effort, she managed to hold up two fingers, while getting the others to stay down. 

Suddenly the door opened. For a split second, I panicked. The nurses would _not _like this. But the nurses knocked first. It couldn't be them. At least, I hoped it wasn't. Because no amount of _ninja _stealth was going to get Michaelangelo out from underneath that mountain of girls in the second it took for that door to swing open.

"Oh, good heavens!"

I raced toward the intruder and pulled her inside. "Mrs. Collins, it's okay!" I assured, quickly closing the door behind her. "It's okay, really."

The girls climbed off of Michaelangelo and looked up at their much older caretaker, probably expecting a lecture. She said nothing for a long time. Then she swallowed hard. "Girls, it's time for bed," she said calmly.

A collective moan went up from the crowd. "Hey, hey," Leonardo interrupted them. They all looked to him. "If you don't all go to bed good, we'll remember that next time. We're not here to encourage whining and misbehaving."

His words had the desired effect. One by one the girls hugged and kissed the two turtles, then walked out of the room. Michaelangelo rested his head back on the tile floor and closed his eyes. "I've fallen," he moaned. "And I can't get up."

Mrs. Collins stared at him as if she still didn't quite believe her eyes. Leo walked away from the wall and offered him a hand, pulling him up easily. "You're bleeding," he informed.

Mike looked at his arm and the blood-soaked bandage. A much larger one was on his other arm, where I assumed he had the burn Leo had mentioned. "Nah, I'm okay." He turned to Mrs. Collins. "Hi," he greeted brightly, holding out a hand to her. "I'm Michaelangelo."

She shook his hand hesitantly. "Anette Collins," she answered slowly.

"And this is Leonardo," I gestured, realizing that he wasn't going to introduce himself. "He..." I hesitated, not sure I wanted to bring up bad memories right now. "...brought me out of the building," I finally finished.

The words granted Leonardo a new level of respect in Mrs. Collins' eyes. She shook his hand, and he bowed slightly. "We owe our lives to you," she said quietly. "But... weren't there more of you?"

"We got two brothers back at home," Mike answered.

Mrs. Collins smiled. "Well, you send my thanks to those two brothers of yours as well. And let them know how many lives they've touched."

Michaelangelo the turtle smiled as Michaelangelo the kitten curled around his legs, tail flicking slightly. "I'll do that," he said, more to the fuzzy animal than to Mrs. Collins.

Mikey picked up the cat and walked to Marie's bed. She looked tired, but she smiled. "Here," Mike offered, placing the kitten in her arms. Mrs. Collins smiled at them, and left, closing the door behind her.

Mike rested a hand on top of Marie's head as she closed her eyes and snuggled closer to the orange ball of fluff. "G'night Mikanalo," she slurred.

He smiled and stared at her for a moment, then looked up at Leo. "I'm gonna go," he whispered.

Leonardo nodded. Mike smiled at me and started toward the window, but turned back. "Oh," he remembered. "You think you could get us some kind of gauze wrapping or ace bandages or something? We're kinda... out."

"Oh, sure," I smiled. I considered where I might get it, and walked into the bathroom. In a clear plastic box under the sink were dozens of packages of gauze. I grabbed a handful and returned to Mike. "I'm not sure how you're gonna carry them, though, if you climbed up the wall."

He grabbed the pillow off the unoccupied bed and shook the pillowcase free. "I'll just have to bring this back," he mumbled to himself as I dumped the packages inside.

"Is there anything else I can get for you?" I questioned. It hadn't even occured to me that they had no medical care other than what they could provide for themselves.

"Couplea cc's of morphine'd be nice," Mike joked. I smiled back at him as he tied the pillowcase to his belt. He turned to Leo. "You want me to tell Splinter where you're at?"

"If he asks," Leonardo replied.

"Alrighty then. You two be good. And remember..." He flashed a mischevious grin at Leonardo. "Abstinence is the best birth control."

I didn't know whether or not to be shocked by that. Leo grabbed the pillow off the bed and threw it at him. "Get outta here, you idiot," he smiled as Mike ducked and dove out the window.

****

LEONARDO:

Mike was gone. I looked at Anna. "I need to talk to you. But I think Marie needs to sleep. Will you meet me outside?"

"Where?" she asked.

"The roof?" I suggested.

"I don't know if I can even get up there," she smiled.

I tried to think of another place that was close by and didn't have surveillance cameras. "Um..." I struggled.

"Can it wait 'til morning?" she asked. "We could meet somewhere then."

I considered that. "I guess so," I answered. "I gotta talk to you about what happened. I was hopin' maybe you knew something I didn't. Or could find out."

"What do you mean?"

I cast a lingering look at the sleeping child a few feet away, and she reconsidered the question. "Okay," she whispered. "Tomorrow morning. How about in that alley near the site?"

I wasn't thrilled with that idea, but it was logical. "Okay," I agreed reluctantly. "We'll meet there. Eight?"

"Works for me."

She wrapped her arms around my neck, catching me slightly off guard. Hesitantly, I hugged her back. "Good night, Leo," she whispered.

"Good night."

She pulled away and brushed her hair out of her eyes. "Be careful."

I nodded, and disappeared out the window.


	17. Theories

****

THEORIES 

August 30, 1995

1 Day, 8 Hours

****

MRS. COLLINS:

She was sitting cross legged in the center of her bed when I opened the door. She looked up from what she'd been reading and forced a smile. "Hello, Mrs. Collins," she greeted.

"I hope I am not disrupting you," I answered.

She smiled. "Oh, no. I was just getting ready to leave, actually."

"Where are you going?"

There was a moment of silence, and Anna sighed. "Leonardo believes that he knows who bombed the orphanage."

I froze. "Really?"

"Yes," she mumbled. She turned and stared at me. "But he doesn't know why."

I shook my head slowly. "I can think of no reason why anyone would want to."

"I'm going to meet with him to talk about it. Perhaps you should go too."

I considered that for a moment, and shook my head. "I should stay here with the girls. But please go, and tell me what he says."

She nodded. "I will Mrs. Collins," she promised. 

I studied her for a moment. "The girls tell me they named their kitten after Michaelangelo," I offered after a few seconds of silence.

"Yes," she smiled.

"It's surprising," I observed. "They speak as if he played roughly with them, but none of their injuries were disturbed."

She smiled, a faraway look in her eyes. "He was careful," she explained. "What amazes me is that he can simultaneously watch what he's doing to five different children, taking care not to disturb their wounds, and keep an eye on the other two who are planning their attack, without getting hurt himself."

We both laughed. "Yes, that is quite a challenge," I agreed.

She lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. "It's funny. I never even believed they existed until the other night."

"Nor I," I admitted. "And at least you had _heard _of them!"

DONATELLO:

"It doesn't make sense," I mumbled, staring out into the street. The recovery crews had worked through the night, and the bright lights they used to flood the site had just been turned off to allow the morning light to show them where to go.

"What doesn't?" Leonardo asked, staring down at a cut on the back of his hand.

"It doesn't fit his signature, Leo."

He looked up at the recovery efforts. "Whaddaya mean?"

I sighed. "Every criminal has a _modus operandi_ and a signature. The MO might change, depending on the situation or how much experience the suspect gains. But the signature doesn't change. It's the part of the crime that's satisfying to the perpetrator."

Leo considered that for a minute. "Okay, so it's safe to say that he didn't do this just for the satisfaction of having it done," he concluded. "He wasn't just trying to pacify his sadistic urge. He was after someone or something specific in that building."

I sighed, looking toward him. "Leo, you know Shredder," I whispered. "He's too damn confrontational to use a bomb."

"He's a coward," Leo mumbled under his breath. "He has no honor."

"No," I corrected. "You're wrong. Shredder's a lot of things, but he's not a coward. He's got no problem looking his victims in the eye. And that's my point. Bombing is non-confrontational, for criminals who likely couldn't kill face-to-face."

"So what are you saying?" he challenged, turning toward me.

"It wasn't a satisfying kill for him and I'm seriously questioning if it was, in fact, him who gave the order."

"Leo?"

We looked down as a slim figure walked into the alley. "Up here."

She looked up to the fire escape and brushed her hair back from her face. She smiled. "You can't stand keeping your feet on the ground, can you?" she chuckled.

I studied her as she walked to the ladder and climbed up to the platform. Leo offered her a hand and pulled her up easily. "Good god you're strong!" she laughed, looking away.

He smiled, but said nothing. "So you're Miss Anna," I observed.

She looked to me. I knew we'd met, but we'd never taken the few seconds to exchange names. "Anna Palmer," she greeted, holding out her hand. "You are?"

"Donatello," I answered, shaking hands with her.

"Nice to meet you."

"Pleasure's mine."

"Let's go up to the roof," Leo suggested, looking up. He glanced at Anna. "You okay with that?"

"Uh," she stammered. "Yeah, sure. I guess."

We climbed the stairs to the rooftop and walked to the edge overlooking the street. "Wow, that's a long way down," Anna mumbled, stepping back. 

I looked down at the steep, ten story drop. "Yeah, kinda," I agreed.

Leo sat down on the ledge, his back turned toward the recovery crews. He studied Anna for a minute. "You ever hear of a guy named Shredder?" he asked. "Or Oroku Saki?"

She paused for a minute, then shook her head. "What about the foot clan?" I offered. 

She shook her head again. "No, I'm sorry."

Leo looked over his shoulder, down at the street below. "That orphanage only housed girls, right?" he questioned.

"That's right."

I looked to Leo. "Given Shredder's exclusively male students, I doubt that he was directly involved with any of them," I mumbled.

"Possibly by relation," he offered, still looking down at the street. 

"Or possibly through the relation of one of his foot soldiers."

"Or victims."

I sighed. "Leo, this is way too broad to try and track down one specific girl and find out what he wanted with her. Especially when we don't even know if she's still alive."

"The children killed in that explosion were all under the age of four except for two," Anna whispered, her eyes downcast. "I don't think a four-year-old could be involved in criminal activities."

"I don't think _any _of your girls were involved in criminal activities," Leo sighed, looking toward her. "But their fathers or brothers might have been."

"What good would it do Shredder to kill the sister or daughter of one of his allies or enemies?" I challenged.

"Revenge?" Anna suggested.

"Or an ultimatum," Leo added. "Do this or I'll kill your daughter."

I was beginning to get frustrated. "Yes, okay, _that's_ like Shredder. But 'Do this or I'll blow up an orphanage' is _not _like him."

Leo looked up at me. "Donny, he's given us ultimatums like that before."

"Yeah, _us_, because we have a God-given responsibility to protect this city and he knows we'd give our lives for these people if it came to that. But the average drug dealer on the street's not gonna feel that way."

"What enemies could he have?" Anna questioned calmly.

Leonardo and I looked at each other. It was funny how she knew nothing about Shredder and yet she knew just what to ask. "That's a very good question, Anna," I mumbled. "Aside from Splinter, and us..."

"Who's Splinter?"

"Our _sensei_," Leo answered.

"What's that?"

"Teacher," I translated. "He also raised us. He's kind of a father figure although he's not actually our father."

"Oh."

"What reason would he have?" Leo thought out loud.

"Here's a better question, Leo," I mumbled. "What reason would one of his _students _have? Because I still don't buy that he gave that order and it's a lot more logical to believe that one of his students would have a grudge against an old girlfriend than it is to believe..."

"They said Shredder," Leonardo interrupted.

"Who did?" Anna asked.

"The foot soldiers," he answered quietly. "That I saw at the orphanage. That's how I knew about the bomb. I heard them talking, and they said they were gonna do it Shredder's way. They said his name."

"Maybe they _thought _the order came from him."

"Is it possible that the guy who said it could've been lying?" Anna offered.

Leo's eyes closed. "I don't know."

"That's more believeable," I informed.

"Maybe," Leo agreed, staring down at the ooftop. "But if that's the case, he didn't get what he wanted."

"If that's the case, Shredder's gonna rip his head off of his body!" I cried. "End of story. I don't think Shredder's gonna like one of his students making up orders and sooner or later, somebody's gonna slip."

Leo sighed deeply and turned around. He leaned on the ledge and stared down at the clean-up efforts. "I don't know Donny," he whispered. "It makes sense, but it doesn't feel right."

"You got a better explanation?"

There was a long silence, while Leo and I stared at each other. Then he turned and walked away.


	18. Map

****

MAP

January 4, 1975

SAKURA:

I stared at the flickering candle light. Outside, it was bitter cold, and after dark. He had been gone for nearly three hours now, and I could not help but worry. More and more frequently, he'd been disappearing for long periods of time, not telling me where he was going. To satisfy my boredom, he had brought me books. But it was not the same as having his company. Especially at night, when it got cold, and the icy draft through the lair extinguished the candles' flames. 

No matter how many hours I spent in these rooms, I still felt fear when the shadows creeped over the walls. It was only the rats, I knew. And the turtles. The turtles I did not mind. In fact, I had grown as fond of them as one could of an animal that seemed to possess no personality. The rats, while they were more social, were much less appealing to me. I did not want to think of what diseases they might carry. Of course, Yoshi maintained that the turtles were more likely to carry disease than the rats were. I wasn't sure how true that was, but at least I didn't have to worry about the turtles biting me.

Whoever had first said that turtles were slow did not own a turtle. Keeping all four of them in one room was about as easy as keeping a two year old child occupied with little more than his hands and feet. I found them all in separate rooms of the lair. How one of them had managed to get into the room I had formerly slept in was beyond me, as the door was closed. I found them all, gave them water, and placed them near the single space heater in the living area. And I waited.

I watched the old, broken apart Cuckoo clock on the wall. It told time correctly, but did little else. As of now, it was telling me that it was nearly ten o'clock at night. I sat down on the old couch Yoshi and I had managed to drag down here, and curled into a ball. It was cold, and I was nearly shivering. I watched the four turtles and wondered what they would do if it got much colder. They were cold blooded, and while I didn't think it got below freezing in the lair, it may have gotten close at times. They needed to stay close to the space heater, but they politely refused. Maybe I could tie them...

Minutes passed. The uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach grew. Finally, I stood, grabbed my jacket, and walked out the front door, closing it tightly behind me.

****

YOSHI:

A quiet crying attracted my attention, and I froze in place. Had Sakura wandered away from the lair? I knew I was a good distance from home. Perhaps it was someone else. My thoughts were flooded with ideas of who might be intruding down here. We lived in an older section of the sewers. Some of the dated bricks I found were as old as 1914. Repairs were needed often, and I had seen workers down here. But the lair had been carefully chosen. It was in a section of sewers no longer in operation. I theorized that there had been an earthquake, and the damage had been more extensive than they were willing to repair. It collapsed tunnels and dammed waterways. Likely, they decided that it would be easier to build new, and more easily maintained sewers instead of using the old ones. I doubted that any maintenence worker would be in these parts of the tunnels. I immediately switched to silent mode as I made my way toward the quiet sobs. 

"Sakura?" I asked as I saw her, cowering in a corner of the tunnel.

She sprang to her feet and ran to me. "Yoshi!" she cried. "You have found me! I feared I was lost!"

I held her, slightly confused, as she buried her face in my neck, ridding herself of the tears. "What are you doing so far from the lair?" I asked.

She pulled away. "When you did not come back, I was frightened," she explained. "I came in search of you."

I smiled and brushed her tears away. "Oh, Sakura-chan," I sighed. "I was not gone _that _long!"

"You said you would only be away for a few minutes. It has been nearly four hours!"

I tucked her hair behind her ear. "I had some trouble finding food. I did not mean to worry you."

She sighed and hugged me again. "You are forgiven, now that I know you are safe."

I pulled away and circled my arm around her shoulders. "You are lucky I found you," I informed her as we began to walk. "It is very easy to get lost down here."

"_Hai_," she agreed. She was quiet for a few paces, then she pulled away from me. "I know!" she cried. "You will draw me a map!"

I considered that for a moment. "But why do you need a map, Sakura-chan?" I questioned. "It is not wise for you to wander around the sewers even with a map. You could get hurt."

She laughed. "Oh, do not be silly, Yoshi-san," she replied. "I have lived here for more than three months and I have seen nothing more threatening than your rats and turtles..."


	19. Seeking Treasure

****

SEEKING TREASURE 

August 30, 1995

1 Day, 12 Hours

ANNA:

I sat on the edge of the hospital bed, brushing the little girl's hair back from her sleeping face. She had not yet woken up. I sighed, wishing that there were something more I could do for her. Leonardo's words haunted me. _If he didn't get what he was after, he'll be back._ I shuddered. Who would do such a thing? What would motivate a man to take so many innocent lives?

An insistant knocking on the door diverted my attention. I stood and walked to the door, where I was met with the bruised, scraped face of a two-year-old little girl. "Rachel," I greeted. "What are you doing wandering around on your own?"

She stepped into the room and held up a fragile, very old looking paper. "Teshure?"

I knelt down and brushed her blonde curls out of her eyes. "What've you got there?" I asked.

"Teshure."

"Can I see?"

She offered it to me and I unfolded it carefully. I stared at it for a moment in surprise. The "treasure map" I'd given to Kaylie. "Teshure," Rachel repeated.

"Honey, where did you get this?" I asked, studying her.

She looked down, digging her toes into the floor. "Teshure. Mat."

"Yes, treasure map," I repeated. "Who gave you the treasure map?"

"Ranna's."

"Raeanne gave you the treasure map?"

She nodded. "Rachel!" Miss Kristi hurried down the hallway. "There you are!"

She scooped the little girl into her arms as she stopped in front of me. I stood to my feet. "I'm sorry, Anna," 23-year-old Miss Kristi sighed.

"It's no problem," I smiled.

"She's been wandering around the floor knocking on everybody's doors and waking up the entire hospital."

I grinned. "One of the disadvantages to not having cribs."

"Yes," she laughed. Rachel rested her head on Miss Kristi's shoulder. "How are you, Anna? Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," I sighed. "I guess I inhaled some stuff I wasn't supposed to, from out on the street. But I'm alright."

She nodded slightly. "That's good."

"Miss Kristi!" a voice from down the hall cried.

I smiled. "You better get back to work," I sighed.

"Yes," she agreed.

"Let me know if there's anything I can do," I offered.

"Thank you," she smiled as she turned away.

I watched her go and closed the door, returning to the bed. I sat down on the edge of it and studied the paper. Who had carried it out of the building? I had figured that this had gone up in flames along with everything else. I traced over the faded, crudely drawn lines, wishing I could remember where I'd picked this up. Something caught my eye as I looked over the boxes scattered along the lines. It almost looked like a book. I traced over it with my fingernail. A library? Or a bookstore. I studied it carefully. Suddenly, it looked strangely familiar.

****

APRIL:

I knocked on the makeshift front door. "Guys? You here?"

I pushed it open cautiously. It wouldn't be the first time they'd come at me, weapons and teeth bared, because I'd surprised them. "Leo? Raph?"

"April!"

I breathed a sigh of relief and stepped into the room. Michaelangelo vaulted over the back of the couch. "Where have you been young lady?" he demanded, jokingly.

"What _happened_?" I asked. "I'm gone for two weeks and the whole city gets turned upside down!"

"How's that?" Raphael asked. I wasn't sure if that was sarcasm, but coming from Raph I guessed it was.

"You guys are _all over _the news!" I cried. "Haven't you realized that?"

They looked at each other. "Well, uh, we haven't had a lot of time lately to watch the news."

"And with you gone, what's the point?" Mike grinned.

I smiled back at him. "Flattering."

"I know. How was your vacation?"

I sighed. "Apparently a lot better than _your _past few days have been."

"Yeah, well, that ain't hard," Raph mumbled.

LEONARDO:

_"We got our orders and we're gonna do it Shredder's way."_

I breathed deep, and concentrated on the memory. I had to replay it. Every word. There was something we were missing. _"But... maybe there's another way or somethin', ya know?"_

_"If you don't shut your mothafuckin' trap, I'm gonna kick your ass clear into next week."_

"Yeah, you don't have to stay you fuckin' pussy. You can run away if you want."

Could they have set it up? Was it possible that it was all an act?

_"We got our orders and we're gonna do it Shredder's way."_ The words echoed in my mind. The speaker was tall, his face covered like the rest of them. _"...Shredder's way." _It wasn't Shredder's way. But something in that line... _"We got our orders..." _Something in the inflection. It didn't ring true with Donny's theory. 

_"I just don't see why we gotta hit all those..."_

All those... children? Innocent people? They were after something or someone specific, that much was certain. The 38 deaths were an unfortunate side effect. _Think like they think, Leo..._

_"Shut yer fuckin' mouth before I stick my fist in it!"_

Frantic? Nervous? Afraid he might get caught in a lie? Saying that Shredder ordered this bombing... that was a pretty big lie. But he wasn't afraid. The only fear came from the one who didn't want to be there. _"Who the fuck are you?"_

The memory got fuzzy. I fought. But they said more. They talked more. They said something that I didn't hear... _"Well, whoever you are, you're 'bout to get your ass kicked."_

No, _behind _them. Behind the fight. Two of them were talking as they walk out of the building. _"Let's get outta here..."_

No, that's wrong. That doesn't feel right. That wasn't what he said. He said more. _"Let's just get the hell outta here..."_

More... He said _more_! I _know _he did!

"Leonardo?"

My concentration was broken and I jolted back to reality. "What!" I snapped, frustrated by the interruption. 

I spun and faced Michaelangelo. He backed away slightly, probably intimidated by the outburst. "Sorry, bro," he mumbled. "I didn't mean to interrupt. I didn't think you'd hear me if you were really..."

I sighed deeply. "What do you want, Mikey?" I asked, much calmer now.

"April's here," he informed me.

I sighed and hung my head. I was so close, I didn't want to stop right now. "Thanks," I mumbled.

I could feel his eyes on me. "You okay?" he asked.

I sighed deeply. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You don't look so hot."

"I'm... frustrated."

"You been meditating ever since you got back this morning," he observed. "Anything in particular bothering you?"

"I wanna know what Shredder wanted with that building," I answered.

He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. "You don't believe Donny's theory?"

"No, I don't."

He sat down, cross-legged, a few feet in front of me. "Why? What's wrong with it?"

I shook my head. "I don't know it just... doesn't _feel _right." I glanced up at him. "It's just something in the pit of my stomach that doesn't believe it could be anybody _but _Shredder. I _know _it doesn't fit his MO, but there's a _reason_, Mikey, I can feel it."

"You think he was maybe trying to throw us off? Like no one would ever suspect him, because it isn't like him?" I studied him carefully. "I mean, he couldn't have _expected _you to run into those foot soldiers. And they're the only way you could _possibly _link this to him."

I thought about that for a minute. "I don't know," I admitted. "It's possible. But it still doesn't answer the question why. And I can't prove it. Donatello's set on his theory and frankly his makes more sense."

"Leo," he started hesitantly. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "Does it really matter? Is it really about who's right and wrong?"

Anger flooded through me as I considered his implication. "No, it's about who killed those children."

"And what if it _was _Shredder?" he asked, shaking his head slightly. "What're you gonna do about it, Leo? Or what if it wasn't? You gonna kill every one of his foot soldiers to find the _one _who gave the order to blow up that building?"

"Mikey, if we don't know who gave that order and why, how do they know they won't try it again?" He said nothing. "If it wasn't Shredder then chances are, it's over. He'll find out about it somehow and he'll kill the bastard who did it. But if it _was _Shredder, he's not gonna stop because he didn't succeed the first time. This might not be over yet; we can't just label it 'case closed' and assume it's over."

"I don't think that's what we're trying to do, Leo."

"If it wasn't Shredder, it's what we _should _do. But I think it _was _him. And I think those girls are still in danger."

We stared at each other for a long time, and he finally sighed. "If you're wrong, Leo, we're gonna be spinning our wheels for the next month, year, whatever it takes." He closed his eyes and bowed his head, considering that. "But I guess that's better than what might happen if Donny's wrong."

"Yeah," I agreed quietly, looking away.

He reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Hey." I looked back at him. "I'll back you up, Leo. But give me somethin' to go on, huh?"

I nodded. "I know they said something, Mikey," I whispered. "I just can't remember it."

"Well, remember it," he urged. "Because everything in me wants to believe that you're wrong about this. That Donny's right and that it's over. Because yeah, Shredder would kill someone who gave an order without his permission."

"I'm not wrong, Mikey."

He studied me carefully. "I believe you, Leo. But like I said, I don't want to."

ANNA:

The flashlight was dim. I hadn't noticed just how dim it was until I got down in the pitch blackness of the sewers. It was okay at first, because the light filtered through the grates. But as I got closer to the marked place, the grates disappeared. I considered going back, but I knew I couldn't do that. I wasn't sure I'd get up the nerve to come back down here.

_Would anybody ever find me if I were to die down here?_

That was an interesting thought. Of course, I was more likely to die of some kind of disease than to fall off a cliff down here. I'd seen rats down here, and needles, and various other things I didn't want to think about. What on earth was I doing? This was dangerous, and probably illegal, and I had no idea what I was going to find down here. I felt like I was looking for danger. And when one goes looking for trouble, nine times out of ten one found it.

I squinted through the darkness. I was close now, according to the map. Just a few more...

"Ow!"

Something sharp scraped my shin. I looked down, aiming the beam from the flashlight down at the blood trickling from a thin cut. "Dammit, now I'm gonna need to get a tetnus shot."

****

MICHAELANGELO:

"You hear that?"

April and I looked toward Raphael and fell silent. It was quiet for a few seconds. "I don't hear anything," April mumbled.

Raph pulled himself up until he was sitting straight instead of lounging. He looked over the back of the couch toward the door. "I heard someone," he informed.

"Maybe it was Donny," April suggested.

Raph shook his head. "Donny wouldn't make noise like that."

I heard talking, but I couldn't make out what was being said. I stood and took April's hand, pulling her behind me. We backed slowly into the kitchen, so we could see who it was without them seeing us. Raphael stood, weapons bared, and watched the door. But apparently he decided that my idea was better than a violent confrontation. He darted to his room and closed the door partway. 

We watched the front door in silence, and waited.

****

ANNA:

There was a door. I pushed it open slowly and was met with a bright light. I cringed at the intensity of it and gave my eyes a chance to adjust before stepping inside. I looked around, not sure what to expect... and froze. 

I looked over the furniture. Lights were on, a half-finished glass of water was on the coffee table. I swallowed hard. Somebody _lived _here. "Hello?"

"Anna?"

I spun toward the voice and saw Michaelangelo in one of the doorways. I jumped back in surpise. "Omigod!"

He stepped into the room. "Anna, what are you...?" he stammered, a wide-eyed look of surprise on his face. "How did you...?"

"You!" I cried. "You... you live here?"

Another door opened, and a second figure stepped into the light. He looked like Mike or Leo, but his bandana was red. He was holding weapons unlike any I had seen before. "Who the hell are you?" he demanded.

"This is Anna," Mike answered for me. "Leo and I both know her but... I'm not quite sure what she's doing here."

A woman stepped out of the kitchen, behind Mike. I recognized her immediately from Channel 6 News. "April O'Neil," I whispered. "You...?"

Suddenly, before I even realized he'd moved, the unfamiliar figure had me pinned to the wall. My head banged against the brick and I cried out in surprise and pain. "How did you find this place?"

"Jesus, Raph!" Mike cried, racing over to us. He grabbed Raph's shoulder and pulled him back. "Knock it off! She's okay!"

Raph let me go and I dropped back to the floor, rubbing my arms where he'd held me. I was probably going to have bruises. He eyed me suspiciously. "Miss Anna on the PA system," Mike explained. "At the orphanage. That's her. Leo and I've been talking to her since then. She's okay, Raph!"

He continued to study me, then jerked away from his brother. "How'd you find us?" he demanded again.

"Give her room."

Another voice I didn't recognize. I looked toward the speaker and gasped instinctively. It was a giant, walking, talking rat. I swallowed hard. _Are you _really _that surprised? After you've spent the past week talking to mutant turtles?_

Raph and Mike backed off. I stood staring at the rat. "My name is Anna Palmer," I finally started, my voice staggered with uncertainty. "I... I didn't mean to cause any trouble..."

He stared back at me, then his eyes shifted to the two turtles near me. "Raphael, go and get some disinfectant and bandages for her wound. Michaelangelo, please get me a glass of water."

They left instantly. The rat stepped forward. "How did you find this place?" he asked.

I bowed my head and swallowed hard. Then I reached into my pocket and pulled out the map. I handed it to him, but said nothing. He studied it for a moment. "Where did you find this?"

"It... was in a pair of pants from when I was younger," I answered. "But I don't remember how it got there. I guess I found it when I was younger, but I don't remember. I guess it wasn't exactly a life-changing event."

The last attempt at lightening the conversation was met with an intense stare as he studied me carefully. I shrank back. "Has anyone beside yourself seen this?" he asked, after looking over it briefly.

Mike walked back into the room. I glanced up at him. "Some of the children I care for saw it, but I'm sure they don't know what it is or how to read it."

Leonardo stepped into the room. "Anna?" he asked, shocked.

I forced a smile. "Uh, hi Leo."

Raphael appeared again. I could feel eyes on me from every direction. "My name is Splinter," the rat finally informed. "And you are most welcome here."


	20. The Long Way Home

****

THE LONG WAY HOME

August 30, 1995

1 Day, 22 Hours

****

LEONARDO:

She sipped the tea slowly, her eyes darting around the room as if she wasn't totally sure that she was comfortable. Hours had passed, and Raphael had left. I could tell that Donatello _wanted _to leave, but he didn't have the nerve to walk out on company. Raph didn't care one way or another. "Will you be able to look into where we might go?" Anna asked.

April smiled. "Already done," she informed. "The city owns an apartment complex that was abandoned almost ten years ago. They were gonna turn it into a hotel, but they could never get the money up. It hasn't been officially announced, but word is that they're going to donate it with the hope that you guys can use fundraisers and donations to fix it up."

Anna frowned. "How much do they expect us to be able to raise?"

"I don't think you realize just how many donations the Red Cross has taken in your name," April chuckled. "This whole city is up in arms about what happened. Everyone's got a theory on who blew up that building and why."

"What kind of theories?" I questioned.

"International terrorists," she shrugged, "angry children. One group is even blaming it on pro-choice advocates."

"I know it was Shredder," I mumbled, shifting my eyes to the floor. "Or at _least _someone working for him. I just don't know why."

"Well, _whatever _the reason," April replied, "it's gonna make for one hell of a story when it all comes out."

"_If _it all comes out," Donny corrected her.

"Even if I can't name him, I'm not about to let this one slip through my fingers!"

"As long as you leave us out of it," I reinforced.

"Of course," she smiled. "That's a given."

Anna was watching April closely. "Is it hard to... do what you do?" she questioned. "To report on... death and destruction and to have to do it so enthusiastically?"

April thought about that for a minute. "Not really," she finally answered. "You learn to shut it off, to treat everything like a piece of news and not like a life. You have to, in order to keep from getting beat down by every child that gets killed and every mother that has to find out about it."

"You can shut that off?" she questioned.

April smiled sympathetically. "It's not quite that easy. It took me a long time to get used to the excitement in the newsroom when we'd hear over the scanners that somebody got shot. But you just get... callused. And you have to."

"But that doesn't mean you have to forget that you're talking about real people," Michaelangelo mumbled under his breath.

"No," April agreed. "It doesn't. Because the viewers aren't callused like I am."

Anna smiled faintly. "I guess it kinda comes with the territory then, huh?" she assumed.

April sighed. "And speaking of viewers, I need to get to work," she sighed. "I did my package earlier, but I gotta anchor the ten tonight."

"I should get back, too," Anna mumbled.

I stood. "I'll take you up," I offered.

****

ANNA:

"I can get back from here," April informed. 

Leo shot her a pathetic look. "April, it's the middle of the night."

"So?" she smiled. "I'll be fine."

She turned and Leo crossed his arms over his plastron. "April, it's more work to tail you and stay hidden than it is to walk you home."

She stopped and looked back. "What do you mean, tail me?"

He smiled. "I've seen too many horror stories come to life to let you walk around the city streets in the middle of the night. But if you're absolutely determined to go alone, I can make it _look_ like you're alone."

I couldn't help but laugh. She looked as if someone had just told her that Santa Claus wasn't real. "You follow me?" she demanded.

"April, how do you think it is that every time you seem to get in trouble, one of us is always there?"

I could tell the thought had never occurred to her before. "You should feel flattered," I smiled. "You have your own guardian angels."

Leo turned to me. "So do you," he grinned.

"I'll keep it in mind if I ever decide to rob a bank," I smiled back.

April laughed. "Fine. But I'm not going home. I gotta get to work."

"That's fine," Leo mumbled. "The station is right by the hospital."

We walked in silence. I could tell Leo was tired, but he didn't complain. April and I made small talk, and we finally came up to the street in an alley near the hospital. On the corner was Channel 6. "I'd better hurry," April sighed. "I'm already cutting it kinda close. I should've been up here almost an hour ago and my boss is gonna have my head if I don't get my package voiced before the show."

Leo smiled faintly. "G'night April," he said, hugging her briefly. "Have a good show."

"Yeah, I'll have to watch it tonight," I grinned.

She laughed quietly. "Thanks. I'll see you guys later."

"Bye."

I watched her cross the street and enter the front doors of the building. "You know where you are?" Leo asked.

"Yeah," I answered. The hospital was across the street, a few buildings down.

"Think you'll be okay from here? I can't exactly walk out into the street."

I turned to look at him and smiled faintly. He sighed and leaned against the wall, looking out at the people who passed the alley opening. We were standing behind the dumpster, and they probably wouldn't see us even if they looked down the alleyway.

"Thank you," I mumbled after a moment of silence.

"For what?"

I stared at him for a moment. "For... walking me here. For caring enought to... For everything, Leo, you know?"

He smiled. "It's not a problem, Anna," he informed me.

I dropped my eyes, smiling knowingly. Of course it wasn't. He would never admit it if it was. I hardly knew him, and yet I somehow knew that he would go to the ends of the earth to make sure I was safe. "You guys are... really great friends, you know that?" I looked up again and our eyes met. "I mean... you know you don't really have to do all this, don't you?"

He sighed deeply. "If you want the truth, Anna," he mumbled, "I kinda feel a little bit responsible for all this."

I stared at him, shocked. "What? Why?"

He watched the ground. "Well, just because... if I'd just remembered sooner. I think I was just trying too hard." He shook his head slightly. "I got a habit of doing that and when I do I... And I know better, but I keep doing it."

I couldn't speak for a few seconds. Was he _seriously _blaming himself for all this? I placed a hand against the side of his face. "Leo."

He looked up at me. "Leo, I and everybody I care about owe our lives to you." We stared at each other for a moment, saying nothing. "What happened was _not _your fault," I finally whispered.

He closed his eyes and his head dropped slightly. He breathed deep. "I know," he sighed after a long silence. "Somewhere inside of me, I know that. It's just... hard to convince the rest of me."

I stepped closer to him and put my arms around his neck. He hesitated for a moment before hugging me back. "I owe you my life, Leo," I whispered.

"You don't owe me anything," he assured me.

"Well, you _saved _my life, at any rate." I pulled away and stared at him. "When this first happened," I breathed, "all I could think about was the children that didn't make it out. But somebody told me something. She said not to think about the thirty-eight little girls who died, but to think of the three-hundred-twenty-six who did."

He watched me for a moment, then hung his head. "I know," he mumbled. "I'm sorry."

I smiled sympathetically. "S'okay."

He took a step back, but didn't speak. I glanced up at the building beside me. "Don't take this the wrong way but, uh... you wanna come up?"

****

LEONARDO:

"Is your skin always this dry?" she asked, running her hand over my arm. 

I glanced at her. "What do you mean?"

She smiled and stood up. I watched her walk to a black bag near the window. She returned with a tube of milky, pink lotion. "This stuff'll smell kinda funny," she warned, smiling. "But it'll feel good. I promise."

She sat down next to me again and took my arm. I wasn't sure I was daring enough to let her rub perfume-scented lotion all over my arms. "Will I be able to wash it off?" I questioned, cautious.

She pulled my wristband over my hand. "Sure," she answered. "And it's not _that _bad anyway. It won't make you gag."

"What's it smell like?"

She glanced up at me and smiled as she slid my elbow pad down my arm. "Tropical Paradise."

I nodded slightly. I had no idea what Tropical Paradise smelled like. "Just trust me," she whispered, grabbing the tube.

"As long as I can wash it off," I grinned back at her.

She laughed and squeezed a thin line of pink cream onto my forearm. It was cold against my skin. But her hands were warm. She spread the lotion over my arm, massaging gently. I watched her, noting how it soaked into my skin. It wasn't going to wash off as easily as I'd hoped. But she was trying to be nice, and I wasn't about to tell her to stop.

She rubbed harder, her hands moving up my arm. She reached my bicep, and muscles that suddenly seemed sore, and I felt myself relax slightly. "See?" she grinned. "This isn't so bad."

I watched her hands as she went back down to my wrists. She massaged the lotion into my palms and the backs of my hands. "You're pretty good at this," I mumbled.

She laughed. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"That's encouraging," she smiled. "Because I've never done it before."

"Really?"

She didn't answer. After a few more seconds, she stood and moved to my other arm, stripping it quickly and smothering it in pink goo. The smell was not something I was going to cherish, but it wasn't _that _bad. At any rate, it was _definately _worth it. She massaged hard, relaxing tense muscles. I closed my eyes. "That feels good," I whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

She pressed hard on my upper arm. "You must work out a lot," she observed.

"Mmm hmm. We all do. All part of the lifestyle."

"What lifestyle?"

"Being _ninja_. Life revolves around training. I take that very seriously."

"You enjoy it then?"

"I love it."

The bed shifted and I felt her move behind me. A moment later, warm hands covered in lotion came to rest on my shoulders. I almost melted to the floor. She massaged hard over my shoulders and the sides of my neck. I bowed my head, eyes closed, and breathed deep. "You like that?" she asked.

I moaned incoherently in reply and she laughed. "You can do it harder, Anna," I encouraged her. "It feels really good."

She dug her fingers deeper into sore muscles. I breathed in slow and felt my body relax under her touch. "Hey Leo?"

"Mmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

Her fingers ran lightly over my skin, searching for tension. "Do you have... parents?"

I considered that for a moment. "No," I finally answered.

"No?" she challenged.

"Well, I mean, Splinter raised us. But as for actual, biological parents? My mother was an experimental mutagen meant to kill Master Splinter. And I guess my father's the man who spilled it all over our lair."

"Do you know who did that?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Who?"

"Shredder."

She laughed. "You're kidding!"  
"No," I grinned. "He was trying to kill Master Splinter. And in the mean time, he created us."

"That's funny," she whispered, massaging deeply into hard muscles. I breathed deep. _God_, that felt good. "So he did it to himself. He _created _his worst enemies."

"Mmm," I acknowledged.

"That's poetic justice for you."

I smiled and it was quiet for a minute. "What about you?" I asked.

"What _about _me?"

"Do you remember your parents?"

She sighed. "I don't remember much of my childhood," she whispered. "I don't remember anything really clearly from before I was six. That's when my mother died. Doctors say it's some kind of stress-induced amnesia."

"You ever tried... therapy or something? To try and get your memory back?"

"No, I couldn't afford that."

I considered that for a minute. "But doesn't it bother you that you can't remember your childhood?"

She moved her hands over my shoulders to my arms again. My skin soaked up the moisture. "How far back do you remember, Leo?"

I thought about that. "I remember... being a child. Maybe three or four. I got a couplea scattered memories from earlier than that."

"And how do you measure your age? From your transformation? Because you could've been existing as a regular turtle years before that."

That thought left me dumbstruck for a moment. "Yeah, we measure our age from when we were mutated."

"And you don't remember anything before that, do you?" I stared blankly at the tile floor. "How long do turtles live, Leo? You could've been alive for ten years and not remember any of it."

I shook his head as I considered that. "No, we were small when Splinter found us."

"Well, my point is that we all have a point before which we don't remember. And it doesn't bother me any more than it bothers you."

I thought about that for a moment. Her hands pulled away, running down over my arms one last time. I glanced up at the clock. "I should really get back," I mumbled. I turned to Anna. "But thanks."

She smiled. "Don't mention it."


	21. Gifts

****

GIFTS

March 20, 1975

Shortest chapter in the history of my writing. LOL Of course, that's because half of it is not appropriate for the potentially virgin eyes of fanfiction.net readers... So if you're over 17 and you want to read the entire chapter, go here- http://www.angelfire.com/ok5/tmnt/father/gifts.html

YOSHI:

She nuzzled closer to me, her head resting in the crook of my arm. I kissed her temple, and sighed contentedly, circling my arm around her waist. "I have something for you, Sakura-chan."

For a moment, I thought she might be asleep. But she opened her eyes and looked up at me. "What for?" she asked weakly.

I smiled, brushing her dark hair back. "Do I need a reason?"

She didn't speak. I pulled away from her and turned to the side of the bed, and a small paper bag I had rested there. She took the bag from my hand cautiously and unfolded it. Her lips formed a smile and she sat up as she pulled out a small, glass figurine. It was a single branch, coming upward from a mirrored base. On the branch were several rose tinted flowers. She laughed quietly. "It is a sakura branch," she realized.

"_Hai_," I smiled, propping my head on my elbow.

"Where did you find it?"

I shrugged. "Does it matter?"

She set it down at the side of the bed and lay down next to me again, wrapping her arms around my neck as she pulled close again. "It is beautiful, Yoshi-chan," she whispered against my cheek. I kissed her and rested my head next to hers. Tired and satisfied, I slipped into a dreamless sleep.


	22. Clarisse

****

CLARISSE

August 31, 1995

2 Days, 10 Hours

ANNA:

I sat on the edge of the hospital bed, brushing the little girl's hair back from her sleeping face. She had not yet woken up. I sighed, wishing that there were something more I could do for her. Leonardo's words haunted me. _If he didn't get what he was after, he'll be back._ I shuddered. Who would do such a thing? What would motivate a man to take so many innocent lives?

"Anna?" a quiet voice called from the door. "Er, I guess it's Miss Anna now, isn't it?"

I turned and saw a teenaged girl in the doorway. Her long red hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she was wearing a T-shirt and a pair of jeans that looked slightly too big. She smiled nervously. I returned the smile, glad to see a familiar face. "It's okay, Clarisse," I assured her. "Come in. Please."

She stepped into the room and shut the door behind her. "There's something I need to tell you," she mumbled. "But I'm kind of afraid of what might happen. I guess that's why I haven't said anything yet."

I pulled my hands into my lap and gave her my undivided attention. "What's wrong?"

She avoided my gaze, staring instead at the little girl on the bed. "Is she okay?" she asked.

"She's in a coma," I explained. "But they think she'll be okay whenever she wakes up."

Clarisse sighed. "Jamie has internal bleeding," she whispered, looking down. "They're surprised she's lived this long."

"I'm sorry," I offered, feeling her grief. I, too, had known Jamie. I'd only recently left that floor as one of the children that was being cared for, and moved to another floor where I was one of the caretakers. "I should go see her."

Clarisse shook her head. "She's on so many painkillers, she wouldn't even recognize you. She was really close to the building, with a baby in her arms."

"Was the baby okay?"

She smiled faintly and nodded. "Completely unharmed." She looked down at the little girl in the bed and rested a hand on her forehead, avoiding the tubes that ran into her body. "It's just really hard to... to stand back and watch her die."

Clarisse began to cry. I stood and wrapped my arms around her. She clung to me, burying her face in my hair. Only two years younger than me, Clarisse was nearly a foot taller. But it made no differnce as we hugged each other and cried. Finally, she tried to speak. But I didn't understand her. "What?" I asked, pulling away.

"I said I know why," she sobbed, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Why what?"

"Why it happened. Why someone bombed the home."

I stared at her, shocked, and brushed my own eyes. "Clarisse, what do you mean?"

She stared down at the floor for a long time, then raised her eyes to mine. "There's a rumor going around," she choked. "It got brought over with a Patty's sister, when she came to visit."

I thought for a moment. Patty's sister. That was Christina. "Patty thought she was just being silly, but I believe her. Because I saw them, too."

"Saw who?"

"The Turtles. They were at the building. And they helped to get the girls out."

I nodded. "I know."

"Christina said that they came here," she whispered. "That you talked to them."

I stared at her, reluctant to admit that. "Clarisse, you can't tell people about that," I pleaded.

"I know," she sighed, forcing a smile. "I haven't. And I won't. Like I said, no one really believes it. But I was wondering..." She looked up at me. "Can you tell them something for me?"

I nodded. "What do you want me to tell them?"

"Tell them that he's after me," she whispered. "Because I know things about the foot clan."

****

MICHAELANGELO:

The knock on the door was unexpected. It couldn't be April; I'd just gotten off the phone with her. That only left one possibility. I looked toward the door, a little startled, and Leo stood up to answer it. "Anna," he greeted. He froze. Beyond him, I saw two figures. One was Anna, and I wasn't sure who the other was. My interest was suddenly peaked.

"I wouldn't have brought her here," Anna whispered, "except she has information you guys need to know now, and I had no other way to get ahold of you."

Leo stepped back, opening the door wider. Anna stepped inside, followed by another teenage girl. I guessed she was seventeen, with long red hair pulled back behind her head. Her skin was pale, but clean and smooth. She wore no makeup, or jewelry, and her clothes were a little too big. But she was really pretty. 

"This is Clarisse," Anna introduced. "This is Leonardo and Michaelangelo."

Clarisse smiled. "Hi."

Anna cast a pleading gaze at Leonardo. "You might want to get your brothers. Maybe Splinter too. I think everyone's gonna want to hear this."

"Hear what?" Leo demanded.

"I know who bombed the building," Clarisse mumbled, looking down at the rug. "And why."

It was all the explanation Leonardo needed. He left the room quickly. I turned my attention to the two girls. "You can sit down," I invited, clearing away some of the mess. "If you can find a _place _to," I added, grinning.

Anna moved to the couch, and Clarisse perched nervously on the edge of the chair Leo had left. "Want something to drink?" I offered. 

Clarisse shook her head. Anna smiled at me. "No, it's okay, Mikey."

Leonardo and Donatello walked back into the room. "_Now _Raph!" Leo called behind him.

Clarisse looked up and smiled nervously at Donny. He held a hand out to her. "I'm Donatello," he greeted. "You can call me Don."

"Clarisse," she whispered back, shaking his hand. She seemed slightly more at ease, noting his friendly smile.

Raphael stumbled into the room, tying his bandana behind his head. He'd been sleeping. "What the hell do you want, Leo?" he slurred. "I just..." He stopped as he saw the unfamiliar girl. "Oh."

Splinter came out of his room and joined us. "What is the problem?" he asked calmly.

Leo turned to Clarisse. "You have information about the bombing?"

Clarisse took a deep breath, and nodded. "Yes, I do."

"What do you know?" Raphael demanded.

She closed her eyes. "I know that the building was destroyed by a man named Shredder. I know that he did it because he wanted to kill me."

We all looked at each other. She couldn't have gotten that from the media. Shredder's name had never actually been mentioned in any news publication. The only one who knew he was the one behind the vast majority of the plots we dealt with was April, and she'd been sworn to secrecy.

"How do you know about Shredder?" I asked.

"And what does he want with you?" Leo continued.

"Give her room to speak," Splinter ordered. I looked to him briefly, then back at her.

She shifted nervously. "My brother was a student of his. A member of the foot clan. He did it as sort of a... vigilante mission." Her eyes closed and she sighed. "He was always doing things like that. Ever since he was thirteen and the police used him in a sting operation to bust a gas station selling cigarettes to minors. But this time he got in over his head."

"So he infiltrated the foot clan to get information about them?" Don asked.

"Hmm, now _where _have I heard this before?" I asked, grinning at Raphael. He glared back at me.

Clarisse stared at us for a moment, then sighed. "He visited me almost every day," she informed. "And he told me things, and said to go to the police if anything should happen to him. About a month ago, he just disappeared. I haven't seen him since."

"So you think Shredder found out he was giving you information," Leo assumed.

"Yes," she whispered.

"Doesn't explain why he'd blow up a whole building full of kids," Raph snapped.

"Yeah," Donny agreed. "Bombing is very non-confrontational. It doesn't fit his MO at all."

"He'd kidnap you or something," I added, looking to Leo for confirmation.

"He tried," Clarisse whispered. We all turned back to her.

"Tried?" Raph challenged.

"There was an abduction a while ago," Anna explained. My mind stopped on that thought, racing back through the past few weeks.

"My roommate. There were dozens of them."

I remembered that...

Raphael laughed cynically. "They took the wrong girl. Yep, that sounds like the foot clan alright."

"It's not funny!" Clarisse shot at him. "They _killed _her, even though she _wasn't _me."

"I remember," I interjected. They all turned to me. "I remember that abduction. I didn't know that's what it was, though. But I remember fighting with a whole bunch of foot soldiers near that building." I turned to Anna. "It was... two weeks ago, maybe? Saturday night?"

She nodded. "That's right."

"There were a few of them who got away," I continued. "But I didn't know they had anyone with them."

"So his foot soldiers got their asses kicked and he didn't even get what he wanted," Raphael mumbled, staring down at the floor. "I'd say that's enough to piss him off."

"Yeah, but to blow up a whole building?" Donny questioned, disbelieving.

"Well, maybe there was another reason too," Leo suggested.

"Or maybe Shred-head's finally gone off the deep end," I answered coldly.

"It doesn't make any sense, though," Don sighed. "Why kill so many people just to get rid of one?"

"It makes no sense to you," Splinter said quietly. "But to one with no respect for human life, it is an easy solution."

"But it doesn't fit his MO!" Donny cried. "It doesn't fit his _signature_. He's too confrontational for that! It's like assuming that we'd use a machine gun to get rid of him, because it'd be easier."

"Donatello's right," Leo mumbled. "He would have gone himself."

"Maybe he couldn't," Anna suggested. We all looked at her.

"What do you mean?"

She shrugged. "Maybe he was hurt or something, and he didn't want to risk a fight with you guys."

We stared at each other. Nobody said anything for a long time. "That is a distinct possibility," Splinter finally admitted.

"I just... thought you guys should know," Clarisse whispered. I suddenly remembered that she was there. "Even if there's nothing you can do about it."

****

DONATELLO:

I still didn't quite believe it. Bombing was the _last _thing Shredder would do. But there was no convincing Clarisse. "Did you go to the police with the information you have?" Leonardo asked.

She shook her head. "I was too afraid."

"What exactly do you know?" Raph questioned.

"Where he's operating," she sighed.

"We could go there and end this for good," Leo suggested. I shuddered at the thought.

"And take on the whole fucking foot clan, Leo?" Raph challenged, reading my mind. "On their turf?" He glanced at Splinter, whom he'd obviously forgotten about for the length of that sentence. "Sorry, _Sensei_."

Splinter nodded slightly, acknowledging the apology, and Raph turned back to us. "Well," Mike started, "if the police raided the place they'd..."

"Be committing mass suicide?" Raphael finished for him. Mike stared back, dumbfounded for a moment.

"The police cannot stop the Shredder," Master Splinter agreed.

"Yeah, we established that a long time ago," I sighed.

"But it would force him to relocate," Mike observed. "And that would take his energy off of blowing up buildings."

"At what cost, Michaelangelo?" Leonardo asked dryly.

"And even so," I sighed, "it's only a matter of time before he gets his act together. And then his revenge kick will be worse."

"Perhaps it's best you stay quiet, Clarisse," Leo advised. She nodded.

"And in the mean time," I added, "maybe it's not such a good idea for Clarisse to go back up there."

"It doesn't matter," Leo mumbled. "Whether she's there or not, if Shredder thinks she is it's all the same."

"How would he know you weren't killed in the explosion?" Mike asked her.

"They released victim's names," Anna answered for her.

"And my name wasn't among the victims."

I thought about that for a minute. "April might be able to..."

"Completely fabricate a news story and spoon feed it to the city of New York?" Raph suggested, smiling. "That could work."

"It's possible that they missed someone," Mike agreed.

"But there are a lot of people already who know that I'm alive," Clarisse reminded us.

"Perhaps in this case, honesty would be the best course," Splinter suggested.

We all turned to him. "What do you mean, _Sensei_?" Michaelangelo asked.

"If Clarisse gave information to the police, putting herself in danger, they would surely take necessary precautions to protect her."

"And put her into a witness protection program," I finished, beginning to understand. "Nobody would know _where _she went, but they'd know she wasn't here."

"But what would she tell the cops?" Mike asked. "What could she tell them that wouldn't send them all running out to get themselves killed?"

"It doesn't have to be about the bombing," Anna informed. "People are placed in witness protection programs for all sorts of reasons."

"Yeah, but we need this to make the ten o'clock news if we want Shredder to hear about it," Raph reminded her.

"And there's no way they'll be allowed to say her name," I mumbled. "She's an endangered witness _and _a minor."

"Perhaps April's experience would offer a great deal of possibility," Splinter informed. "I suggest you speak with her, and find out what she might be able to do for us."

"Good plan," Mike smiled, jumping up and over the back of the couch. "Can we pick up a pizza on the way?"

****

LEONARDO:

"Do you guys realize how quickly I would get fired for something like that?"

"Well, you don't have to _lie_, really," Mike offered. "Just... twist the truth maybe."

April sighed as she poured herself a cup of coffee. "Guys, we don't even report witness protection stuff; we _can't_."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because there's no available information. It's all kept under wraps to protect the witness's safety. Even if I could sensationalize it enough to put it on the air, how would I explain how I came by my information?"

"What if you did an exclusive interview," Anna suggested, "with the girl who knows why the building was bombed? But have it all backlit so you couldn't see her face."

"Shredder would know who it was," Donny considered. "But nobody else would."

"And at some point ask her what she's going to do now," Anna continued. "And she could say something about how she's moving somewhere else, for her protection."

"What happens when the police come and demand that I tell them who that interview was with?" April challenged.

"She said she'd only speak to the camera on the condition of anonymity," I offered.

"Yeah, don't they have some kind of agreement?" Mikey asked. "Like attorney client privelege, you know?"

"Not when we're talking about a crime here," April answered coldly.

"Maybe she didn't tell you anything more than what you caught on camera," Raph shrugged.

"Are you suggesting I lie to the police?" April questioned.

"No," Raph answered. "I'm suggesting you only ask questions you want answers to."

"They'd want a sketch," April sighed. "They'd talk to every person who came from that orphanage until they found her."

"But she'd already be gone," I mumbled, watching April. "Go get your camera and do your interview now. Get it on the news tonight. We can get her out of the city, and she can stay here until we do."

April glanced at the clock. "Guys, it's two o'clock already. I need to get permission for a truck or at _least _a photog and find some place to..."

"No," Don interrupted. "No photographer. Just you."

"Too risky," Mike agreed.

"You can shoot it in the lair," I suggested. "Or here, although that might raise questions. We need as few people as possible to know about this."

"Leo, _everybody's _gonna know about it when it goes on the air," she informed.

"This isn't..." Clarisse stammered. She glanced up at April. "... going to put you in danger, is it? With Shredder?"

April laughed. "If Shredder wants the whole story, I'll tell him. You're staying with the Turtles until they get you out of the city."

"Not a good idea," Donatello answered. "You do that and he might try to negotiate a trade."

"If he comes after you," I mumbled, "you tell him she's already gone."

"And beware because he's probably going to be pissed," Raph added.

"I don't want to put you in danger," Clarisse stated.

April shook her head. "Shredder already hates me, Clarisse," she informed. "This won't make it any worse than it already is."

"It's not wise to provoke him, April," I sighed. "Perhaps it would be best if you stayed with us for a while after after you air this piece. Or one of us can stay here with you. Just until we know."

"Yeah, we don't want to take chances with your life," Don agreed.

She sighed. "Okay. But there's no way I'm gonna get this on the air tonight. How about I come down tomorrow morning and we'll shoot the whole thing in one shot?"

"Hey April?" We all turned to Raph. "You expect us to believe that you can't get this on the air in eight hours worth of time when CNN could do it in thirty minutes?"

April crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't work for CNN, Raphael," she snapped. "And you're asking me to do something that could put me out of work for good. If tomorrow's not soon enough for you, find someone else to do it."

"Tomorrow's fine," I interjected, before Raphael turned this into a full-fledged argument. "In the mean time, Clarisse can go back to the hospital and get her belongings, then come stay at the lair."

"I don't have anything at the hospital," Clarisse answered quietly. "There's really no reason for me to go back." She looked up. "I mean, it doesn't really matter if they worry about me when I'm going to drop off the face of the earth anyways."

"Eventually her name is gonna get back to the police," April mumbled. "You do realize that, right?"

"She'll be gone by then," I assured her, turning toward the door. I stopped before I reached it, and looked back at her, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Thanks, April."

She smiled and shook her head slightly. "The things I do for you guys..."


	23. Photograph

****

PHOTOGRAPH

July 26, 1975

SAKURA:

It was hot and humid, and I was tired. Yoshi had gone up to the surface to buy things we needed. Our supply of lamp oil, among other things, was dangerously low. He would likely be gone for most of the afternoon. I did not mind. It was even hotter on the surface, and I had no desire to wander around the city streets. 

I sighed deeply and stretched my arms high above my head. The tie around my waist came loose, and I did not tend to it. I was alone, and it did not matter. I flopped down on the couch, resting the arch of my foot against the armrest. I felt the silky material of the robe Yoshi had bought for me slide over my stomach and fall apart. I breathed deep and let the cooler air caress my skin. It was not much, but it helped just slightly to ease the heat. I closed my eyes and stretched out contentedly. I knew it would not be long before I fell asleep.

I felt my mind begin to drift away. Suddenly an unfamiliar noise, accompanied by a light, startled me awake. "Oh!"I cried, sitting bolt upright. I pulled the robe closed over my chest instinctively, before I even realized what had happened. 

Yoshi stood in the doorway, smiling slyly. "_Konnichi wa_, Sakura."

I clutched my chest, relief and anger flooding through me in equal amounts. "Do not scare me like that!" I cried.

He only smiled. I watched him closely as he walked over to me. "Are you hot?" he asked, laughing quietly.

"_Hai_," I admitted.

Our lips brushed lightly and he pushed me back down, kneeling next to me. He kissed me, brushed my hair off of my forehead, and blew a thin stream of cool air over me, between my breasts and down to my stomach. I laughed quietly. "That feels good."

He smiled as he pulled away, and I stared intently at him. "Please give me that picture," I ordered. 

"What picture?" he asked, as if he did not know what I was talking about.

"The photograph you just took of me!"

"Oh, _that _picture," he chuckled.

"Yes, _that _picture. Give it to me."

He laughed quietly and reached into the back pocket of his American jeans. "This picture?" he questioned, holding up a thick photo from a Polaroid camera.

I sprang off the couch, lunging for him. But when I reached for his hand, the photograph was no longer there. I grabbed his other arm, but he held that hand up as well, spreading his fingers. I slipped my arms around him and tried to reach into his back pockets, where I figured he must have put it. He twisted away from me and darted to his feet before I even realized that he had moved. He was incredibly fast.

I stood as quickly as I could and he spun behind me before I could attack. His arms circled me from behind and he bit my neck gently. I laughed. "Yoshi, you are acting like a child," I informed him, trying to be serious. He sucked hard on my neck and I shrieked, wriggling away from him. "Yoshi!"

He laughed and let me go. I spun to face him and took a few steps back. He followed me, grinning evilly. "Yoshi?" I questioned, unsure of the smile. I took a few more steps back. "Yoshi, no... Please?"

He lunged at me and I jumped back. I spun and ran away from him, well aware that he could catch me easily. I had nowhere to run. I darted into the bathroom and tried to slam the door closed. But he was inside the room before I had a chance. He backed me up to the wall, near the counter he had built. I grabbed my ammunition as he reached for my wrists.

"Ah!"

He jumped back as a spray of white foam hit his chest. Now that he had been warned, I aimed the shaving cream at his face. He turned away, laughing as he reached blindly for the can. I moved it out of reach and covered the entire side of his face with the white spray. I didn't let go of the button until it ran dry. He was a mess. I laughed loudly as he turned to me, his eyes dancing and a wicked smile on his face.

"Do you love me?" I questioned, trying not to laugh.

I shrieked as he grabbed the hand that held the can. I let him have it, knowing it was empty now. His hands went to my sides and jabbed into my ribs. I tried to double over, but couldn't. He was too close to me. I grabbed his wrists and tried to pull his hands away, but he was much stronger than I was. I was trapped. I struggled, laughing, until between the two I had exhausted myself. Then, he stopped.

He slipped his arms around my waist, underneath the robe. We were both covered in shaving cream, and I didn't particularly care. I wiped a large glob of it from his cheek and draped my arms over his shoulders as he kissed me deeply. As he pulled away, the mysterious gleam returned to his eye. "You know," he started, "I think I have to buy frame for picture..."

I shoved him away from me and reached for his pocket again.


	24. April

****

APRIL

September 1, 1995 

3 Days, 11 Hours

****

MICHAELANGELO:

"Mikey! Get back here before I beat the crap outta your cute, comedic ass!"

I turned and Raphael came to a screeching halt a few feet away from me. "You really think my ass is cute, Raphy?" I cooed. "Aw, that's so sweet."

He glared at me. "Give me. The magazine."

I held it up between my fingers. "Come get it."

He lowered his head like a dog ready to attack. "When I catch you, Michaelangelo, I'm going to _pound _you into oblivion."

"_If _you catch me," I corrected.

He lunged at me and I danced back. I jumped up and grabbed one of the pipelines above us, pulling myself up easily. 

I crawled across the pipe, over the stream of sewage, and dropped to the ground on the other side. Raphael crossed his arms over his chest. "You gotta come home sometime," he reminded me.

I smiled. "Yeah. Let's hope _you _see me before Master Splinter does, huh?" I joked. "Last time I checked, dirty magazines were against the rules."

"You won't show him," he dared me.

I laughed. "That a challenge?"

"That's a _fact_."

"What makes you so sure?" I questioned.

"'Cause then I'd _really _kick your ass."

That was a legitimate threat, and I knew it. But I also knew that he wasn't the type to turn around and wait until I came home. Though if he did, I could think of some fun things to do with this magazine. I used to draw comic strips, with little bubbles full of dialogue. I was sure I could think up some very interesting things for these naked chics to say. 

"Mikey, you got three seconds to get over here," he warned.

"Uh huh," I grinned. "And then what're you gonna do?"

"One."

I flipped the magazine open and laughed. "Bondage, huh?" I chuckled. "Damn. Never knew you were into S&M."

"Two."

I held up the magazine, open to the centerfold. "You really get off on this stuff, Raphy?"

"Dammit, that's it!"

His grappling hook shot up and around the center of the sewage pipe. I bolted. When he caught me, I was gonna get it. I was a good fifty feet away by the time he landed. I spun back to face him. "Uh uh..." I taunted, wagging my finger back and forth. My other hand held the magazine out over the water. "Wouldn't want me to accidently drop it, now would you?"

"'Cept by now I'm more interested in beating the crap out of you than saving the magazine," he growled, head lowered again.

I was a good distance away, and I knew I was faster than him, so I flipped the magazine open again and glanced at it. "Damn. She's hot." I glanced up over the top of the worn pages. "You oughtta call this 1-900 number." One of the names caught my eye. Next to it was a woman, her long, brunett hair draped over her shoulder and one of her breasts. She had nothing on but a dog collar on, and held a leash. "Hey, you could talk to Exotic April," I grinned. "Look, she's even got a doggy collar on."

"You're gonna die."

He sprinted and I judged the distance carefully, not moving until I had to. It might be dangerous, but it drove him nuts. When we were five feet apart, it was easy to notice the growing distance, and it irritated the life out of him that I was so much faster. As long as he didn't start throwing things at me, I was safe.

I pulled ahead and spun around the corner, almost slipping on the slick tunnel. I grabbed the wall as I turned... and almost ran straight into April. 

"Ah!" I screeched to a halt and hid the magazine behind my back instinctively. "What's going on?" she cried. "Is everything alright?"

I chuckled. "Oh, yeah, everything's fine. Just... getting some exercise."

She eyed me suspiciously. Just then, Raphael rounded the corner. He froze when he saw April. I smiled, keeping my back to the wall. "Gee, Raph," I smiled. "Lookit who I found. It's April." I turned to her. "I like your necklace."

Raph blushed furiously as April glanced down at the simple gold chain. I tried not to laugh. "Uh, thanks. I think." She looked up at me. "Did I miss something here?"

"No," Raph assured her, speaking before I had a chance to. "Nothing. Just... an inside joke."

He inched toward me. I knew it, but I didn't have anywhere to go. Besides, with April here, I was safe. "A joke about my necklace?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"No," Raphael tried to recover. "It's not about your necklace. It's... something else."

He was standing beside me now. He reached behind my back and grabbed the top of the magazine, but I didn't let go. He tugged on it, still smiling at her. "But the necklace is very nice," he continued. "Is it new?"

She shook her head. "Uh, no."

He jerked once more on the magazine, then dug his fingers into a pressure point on the inside of my wrist. "Yah!" I cried, instinctively letting go of the magazine. It dropped into his hand and I pulled my wrist in front of me, rubbing the soreness. I glared at my brother.

April sighed and shook her head as she continued past us. As soon as her back was turned, Raph lashed out and hit me on the back of the head with the magazine. It made a loud smack, even though it didn't really hurt. "You are _so _lucky," he growled as he shoved me forward, tucking the magazine out of sight.

****

ANNA:

The interview went well, and took nearly two hours to complete. April was very careful about the questions she asked. Long after she left, we all watched the ten o'clock news. By the time it was over, everyone was exhausted, and I'd decided to stay here rather than to ask Leo to walk me home. 

But I couldn't sleep. The unfamiliar surroundings taunted me as I watched the clock. It was almost midnight. This time, four days ago, we had been racing to get children out of a doomed building. The memories were still fresh in my mind, and even moreso after Clarisse's narrative. 

I leaned forward and rested my head in my hands. Everyone had gone to bed, Clarisse into the spare bedroom they had, and I was alone on the living room sofa. I wondered why they had a spare bedroom when they weren't supposed to have guests in the lair. Not that they hadn't made me feel welcome. 

Light flickered from an oil lamp on the coffee table. Without it, the room would be pitch black. It was turned down low enough for me to sleep, but the shadows dancing on the walls kept me awake. My mind was reeling. I was searching for memories, specifically for those related to the map that had led me here. I had been searching ever since I'd first walked into this room. I must have found it somewhere, but I didn't remember where. Right now, I wanted nothing more than to know where I'd gotten it.

"Why are you not asleep, child?"

The voice startled me, and I nearly fell off the sofa. "Splinter," I greeted, running my fingers through my hair nervously. "I... didn't know you were still awake."

A hint of a smile crossed his lips. "Nor I you, Anna. What troubles you?"

I sighed deeply and relaxed. "It's just... I don't know. I'm just trying to remember something. And I can't."

"Something from your past?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah it's..." I briefly considered how much I should tell him. Then I realized that it probably didn't matter. "I can't remember... where I got that map from. And I don't know why but it's driving me insane."

He smiled. "Perhaps it was given to you."

I sighed. "Perhaps."

He was quiet for a moment. "Do you remember your mother?"

"Yes," I answered quietly.

"Do you remember how she died?"

I glanced at him. That was a strange question. After all, I worked at the orphanage now, I didn't live there. He couldn't possibly know for sure that my mother was dead. "Yes," I answered hesitantly. "Well, sort of."

I looked away and sighed deeply. "She was murdered," I sighed. "I don't remember it, but I woke up in the hospital and they told me. There's so much I don't remember."

"Perhaps it is better that you do not remember," he suggested.

"What do you mean?"

"To block a memory out is the body's way of dealing with events too intense to handle."

I forced a smile. "I've heard that said," I sighed. "But that doesn't make it easier to deal with the loss."

"No," he agreed quietly. "It does not."

For a long time, it was quiet. It was not a tense silence, and I did not mind it. "I really miss her sometimes," I admitted. "And I feel like I hardly knew her."

"What do you mean?"  
I sighed. "When I awoke in the hospital, I didn't remember anything. The doctors said I had amnesia. They told me some things but other things... the _real _memories." I shook my head slightly. "I don't even remember... so much of what she was like. She's just... like a ghost."

"From another life," he mumbled.

I sighed. "It would be so nice to know," I whispered. "Just to hear her voice again. To know what she thinks of me now, thirteen years after she died."

He looked up, and I thought I saw him smile. "I am sure your mother would be very proud of you, Anna."

I smiled back and hung my head. "Thank you," she whispered. "I would like to think so."


	25. Acceptance

****

ACCEPTANCE

August 6, 1975

SAKURA:

"I have been accepted to a school, and given a large scholarship."

He turned and looked at me. A smile crossed his face as he comprehended the words. "Congratulations," he said in English. He'd been using his English skills at every opportunity lately.

I closed my eyes for a moment. "The school is in California."

I opened my eyes again, and saw the smile fall from his face. It was replaced with a serious look. "I do not know if I should go or not," I admitted.

His eyes searched me, and he sat up straight, crossing his legs in front of him. "What is the scholarship for?" he questioned.

"A part of it is for my writing ability, and a part of it for my ethnicity."

He was quiet for a moment. "Do you admire the school?"

I nodded. "Very much." I brushed my fingers through my hair. "It is a film school. I want to write for film. Screenplays." I hung my head. "I did not think I would be accepted."

I saw him smile out of the corner of my eye. "Why would you think that? You are very talented."

"There is so much more that they look at, Yoshi," I whispered.

He was quiet for a long time. I knelt next to him. "Yoshi?"

"I think you should go," he whispered, looking up to meet my stare. "Go, and fulfill your dream."

I shook my head. "I do not wish to leave you, Yoshi," I protested.

He smiled. "It will not be forever."

"Come with me."

He considered that for a moment, and sighed. "Sakura, I cannot," he whispered.

He gave no reason, but he did not need to. I knew that he would not be as safe there as he could be here. It was a risk too great to take. I felt tears pool in my eyes, and I looked away. He turned my face back to his gently, and brushed the tears aside with his thumbs.

"Sakura, do not cry," he whispered. I closed my eyes as he kissed my lips lightly. "Go, and return an educated woman. And I will wait for you, if you will have me to wait."

I swallowed hard. "I cannot ask for such a thing," I choked. "You have done more for me than you could know, and perhaps it would be best if we left it at that."

He brushed my hair behind her ear and brought my face close to his again, kissing me deeply. I melted into him as a familiar warmth rushed over me. "Even if you cannot ask it, I will grant it," he breathed against my lips. "I will not love again until you return to my side."

"But that could be years from now!"

"_Hai_," he nodded. "And I will wait. It is my wish."

Tears spilled from my eyes, though I willed them away. "Then I will return," she whispered. "I swear it."


	26. Leaving

****

LEAVING

August 14, 1975

SAKURA:

I stared down at the bag in the middle of the floor. I owned very little, and much of it was not worth taking. Living here, I had no need for appropriate clothing. I wore frayed robes and _kimonos_ stitched in the darkness by untrained fingers. Yoshi had bought me American clothing. I did not know where he got the money, but he had enough of it to buy me several shirts, and a pair of jeans. He'd also bought me a plane ticket.

I stared at the piece of paper with tears in my eyes. It could not have been easy for him to get it for me. Nor could it have been easy for him to hand it to me when he had bought it, knowing that it would take me away from him. I brushed the tears from my eyes and shoved the ticket into the backpack.

My eyes came to rest on a glass figurine in the center of the kitchen table. I studied it for a moment, then approached it. I ran my fingers lightly over the tinted glass. Then I turned away, leaving it there on the table. I had no doubt that Yoshi would be true to his word; he would wait for me to return. And perhaps that trinket might help to ease the pain when he remembered me. 

****

YOSHI:

I felt her presence as she entered the room, but did not turn to her. She stood still for a moment, watching me, before she finally spoke, quietly and meekly. "Yoshi?"

I turned to her. Her own hands had stitched together the _kimono_ she wore over her shoulders. It was just slightly too big for her, and brushed the floor which, by her effort too, had been swept and cleaned. Her hair was pulled back, and up, held tightly behind her head. Dark eyes watched me for my reaction. "Are you angry with me?" she asked quietly.

I considered that for a moment, and sighed. "_Iie, Sakura_," I whispered, looking away again. "Why would I be angry with you?"

She stepped closer, now assured that she was welcome. "Because I am leaving?"

I smiled reassuringly. "I am not angry, Sakura. I understand."

She knelt beside me. "You have been locked in this room for many hours," she reminded me. "Are you so deep in thought that you cannot eat?"

"I have been meditating."

"Is that what you are doing now?"

"No. I am only thinking now."

"Do you suppose I might intrude into your thoughts for a few moments?"

I smiled. "You are never an intrusion, Sakura-chan," I whispered. "And certainly not when it was you I was thinking of in the first place."

Tears brimmed her eyes and she shook her head slightly. "Oh, I am going to miss you so very much."

"Write to me," I suggested. "To that post office box I provided you with."

She hung her head as a single tear overstepped its boundaries. For a moment, it was silent. Then she looked up. "Why, Yoshi?" she breathed.

"Why?" I questioned, confused.

"Why do you... help me like this?" I didn't answer. "I know that that money was not easy for you to come by. And yet you give it to me as I am walking away from you."

I reached up and placed my hand on the side of her face. "Because I love you, Sakura. And you have a chance to do something great with your life. Who am I to forbid that?"

She exhaled a long, staggered breath, then pulled away, turning her back to me. "I must be at the airport at noon," she informed quietly, brushing the tears from her eyes. I said nothing. She hid her face in her hands. "Why is it that I fear I will not see you again?"

I studied her for a moment, then moved behind her quietly, resting my hands on her shoulders. I leaned into her and kissed her earlobe. "Do not say such things," I whispered against the side of her face. "If you have the will to return, then I have the will to remain here and wait."

A quiet sob escaped her lips, and her chest rose and fell as she breathed deep, trying to control her emotions. I slid my fingers underneath the collar of her _kimono_ and pulled it gently away from her neck, baring her shoulders. I kissed her skin as I ran my hands down her arms. The _kimono_ hissed slightly as it fell to the floor. 

I kissed her neck and circled my arms around her waist, carressing her skin gently. "_Ai shiteru_," I breathed.

She shuddered slightly and leaned into me as I lay back, pulling her with me. I rested her head on my arm and she tucked her head under my chin. Our bodies fit together neatly, and I slipped my arm around her waist, sheltering her. 

My thoughts wandered as her tears were spent. I brushed my fingers over her skin lightly, waiting for her to become calm again. She settled, and I kissed her hair. She nuzzled closer to me, saying nothing. "Sakura?" I asked after a moment of silence.

"_Nan desu ka?_"

"If you wanted something from me, would you ask for it?"

She was silent for a moment. "Something such as...?"

"Anything," I shrugged.

She kissed my neck gently. "Perhaps."

"Perhaps?"

"_Hai_, perhaps," she repeated.

I pulled closer to her. She turned on her side and slipped her arm around my waist. For a moment, it was quiet. "In a few hours you will be gone," I whispered. She looked up and our eyes met. A reverent silence passed, and she pressed closer to me, brushing her lips over my collarbone. "Is there anything you want, Sakura-chan? Before you leave?"

She was quiet for a moment, unmoving. "Anything?" she finally asked.

Her challenge peaked my interest. "Yes, anything," I vowed. "You have given me a reason to live again, and for that I could never repay you."

She did not answer, and I pulled away to look at her. "What is it you want?"

Her eyes fell, then slowly raised to mine again. "A child." I searched her expression, and instantly knew that she was most serious. "_Your_ child," she specified.

For a moment, I was too surprised to speak. "That would interfere with your schooling," I finally stammered.

She pressed her hand to the side of my face. "It would be difficult," she admitted.

I stared at her. "Then why now? Why not when you return?"

"Yoshi, how can we know what it will be like five years from now?" she asked. "We cannot even guarantee our lives, five years in advance."

I sighed. "Do not speak that way, Sakura."

"I speak only the truth!" she cried. "Neither of us know what will happen while I am away. Life itself is not a guarantee."

Her words stung fiercely. Though it was increasingly difficult to accept with every passing minute, I knew that she was right. Her insight showed wisdom, though it hurt terribly to admit it. She kissed me lightly, and brushed her thumbs over my cheeks in a slow, steady rythm. "Yoshi, I believe I am already carrying your child," she whispered. I studied her dark eyes carefully, and knew that she was serious. "And I want you to know that it is my wish to do so."

I stared at her, awestricken by her words. "I am... most honored," I finally managed.

She smiled. "Yoshi..." Her hand slipped around to the back of my neck, and her thumbs rubbed lightly back and forth. Our lips came together, and we kissed deeply. The words echoed in my mind as her fingers carressed my skin lightly, and I pulled her closer to me. 


	27. Shredder

****

SHREDDER

September 1, 1995

3 Days, 23 Hours

LEONARDO:

I lay on my back and stared up at the ceiling. It danced with a pale orange glow, reflecting the flame from the candle on the bedside table. My mind was reeling. I couldn't slow it down. There was so much to think about, and it was all so sudden.

There was a knock on the door. I glanced over at it. I recognized it from the force, and debated for a moment on whether to answer or pretend like I was asleep. I sighed. "Come in."

The handle turned. He stepped inside. "Busy?" he asked. His voice was serious. I reconsidered my decision to let him into the room, sincerely hoping he didn't want to fight.

"Thinking," I answered.

He closed the door. I looked away. For a few seconds, it was silent. "Leo, we gotta do something."

"Like what?" I asked quietly. "She'll be safe with..."

"It's not _about_ Clarisse," he interrupted, anger clouding his voice. "It's about thirty-eight murdered children, Leo. Children. Infants, toddlers... _children_."

I turned my head toward him. Fury danced in his eyes. "What do you want me to do, Raph?" I sighed. "It's not like we even know where to..."

"We'll _find _him."

"And then what?" I challenged. He glared at me. "Raph, you can't bring those kids back, and you know it."

A sharp intake of breath let me know that I'd hit that target a lot harder than I'd meant to. I sighed and looked away again. "Raph, I'm not not about to try and force a confrontation with Shredder when all four of us are hurt."

"So you're gonna let him get away with it?" he accused.

I turned and glared at him. "Did I say that?"

"We can use Clarisse to find him," he snapped. "If what she's saying is true, he'll be back for her. But once she leaves we won't be able to..."

"I'm not putting her in danger like that," I interrupted. "And I'm not putting you in danger like that, either."

He clenched his fists. "You do _not _need to protect me, Leo."

"Prove it, Raph," I answered. "Because from the looks of it, you're going to go out there and find him yourself. And he will kill you, and you know it."

His eyes closed and I knew I had pinned him. Somehow, after all these years, it wasn't hard. His eyes opened again and I saw fire. "Leonardo," he started, his voice measured and quiet, "I _refuse _to stand back and watch the cops fumble around with an investigation until they finally close it unsolved." I looked away. "Do you hear me, Leo?" he snarled. "I _refuse _to let him get away with this."

"What are you gonna do, Raph?" I sighed, tired. "You gonna face Shredder single-handed? And hurt?"

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to," he answered dryly.

I stared at him for a long time, saying nothing. Finally, I shook my head. "I can't stop you, Raphael," I relented. "But I know my limits. And I know that I'm in no condition to take him on right now."

"If not now, when?"

"You want a date and time?" I challenged. He stared at me, his gaze unfaltering. "I don't know. Someday we'll have to find..."

"Someday," he repeated, cutting me off. "How many more people does he have to kill before Someday comes around?" I sighed and looked away. "Listen, Leo, we were _created _to fight him. And maybe it's our only purpose in life, but we're the only ones in the world who can take him down, and you _know _it." I said nothing. "I'm tired of running from this son of a bitch. I'm tired playing tag with someone who doesn't care who he has to hurt to get to us. I'm tired of killing teenage runaways that get sucked into his foot clan." His voice was escalating. He was getting angry. "I'm tired of living every day wondering when he's gonna strike next, I'm tired of visiting graves and picking up the pieces of a city he'd love to destroy, I'm fucking _tired _of it!"

I said nothing. He was quiet for a few minutes. "I'm tired of playing this game, Leo," he finally continued, quietly. "I'm tired of playing _ninja_. If we're gonna spend our whole lives avoiding the one person we were _trained _to fight, there's no fucking point to it."

I turned to him and our eyes locked. "Splinter didn't train us with Shredder in mind."

"Bullshit, Leo," he answered calmly, shaking his head.

"He trained us to defend ourselves, knowing what kinds of problems we were gonna face because of what we are."

He stared at me, a dumbfounded look on his face. He shook his head, as if in disbelief. "No, you're wrong, Leo," he whispered. "You're wrong. Ask him."

"I have asked him."

"You asked him when you were _five_, Leo," he reminded me. "But things change."

"His motive for starting our teaching didn't change."

He stared at me in disbelief. "Leo, do you even realize what we know?" The question startled me for a minute. "Do you even grasp the seriousness of what he taught us? You're so used to it, you don't even think about it anymore. All you think about is getting better, getting perfect, getting through this exercise so you can move on to the next one, the next level. Ever stop to think about what level you're _at_, Leo?"

I wasn't entirely sure what to say to him. This was deep for Raph. I hadn't realized he thought that hard about our teaching. Hard enough to catch me off guard with what he'd come up with. "You could hire out as an assassin, make thousands of dollars for each hit. And it would be _so _easy. You ever think about that, Leo?"

I shook my head slightly. "No."

"Do you realize how good you are? How good we _all _are? Splinter didn't _have _to teach us all this. It's more than we'll ever need in our day to day life, Leo. He makes us go head to head, why? Why do I need to know how to find weakness in somebody better than I am when I'm already better than any scientist or cop or street thug that could come my way?"

"They teach martial arts to police," I mumbled.

"_Tae Kwon Do_, Leo," he answered pathetically. "_Judo_, maybe even _Kung Fu_. _Ninjutsu_'s a little different, don'tcha think? How many _ninjutsu ryus_ we got in the US?"

It wasn't really much of an argument. It hadn't really meant to be when I said it. I knew he was right. I'd just never really thought about it before. I said nothing. It was quiet for a long time, then he sighed. "I'm not gonna sit back and watch while he gets away with this, Leonardo," he mumbled. "I'm tired of it. It's time to kick his ass once and for all, and be done with it."

****

END PART ONE


	28. Transformation

****

PART TWO

TRANSFORMATION

October, 1977

WARNING: Graphic. I tend to think that getting changed from one species to another would be a little more painful than it is ever portrayed.

VINNY ROSSI:

"Yoshi!" I greeted. "How are you, friend?"

He smiled and bowed politely. "Very well," he answered.

"Come in, come in," I invited, waving toward him. He closed the door tightly behind him and walked to the counter. "Are you hungry?"

"A little," he admitted.

"Well please," I gestured, "make yourself comfortable. I was just about to close up. Let me make you something."

He sat down at one of the booths and looked out the windowed wall at the darkened streets. "How is your family?" he asked.

"They're all doing very well," I assured him as I flipped the sign over so that it read "closed". "And yours?"

He smiled in reply. "All is well."

"What can I get for you?" I questioned. "The usual?"

He nodded once. "I will be most grateful."

I turned and walked around the counter, into the open kitchen area. "Where have you been, so long?" I asked. "I haven't seen you in more than a month."

He watched out the window as a woman and her child passed by in the darkening street. "I am been busy," he sighed. "I am in search for furniture, and a means to get it at my home."

I studied him for a moment. "I thought you had furniture," I noted, concerned.

"I used to," he answered. "It was wet in a flood. Rain this passing week destroyed much my belongings."

I spread the dough out in preparation. "I am very sorry, Yoshi." I thought for a moment. "You know, I have a friend who was donating a whole bunch of furniture to the Salvation Army, but I think it was mostly bedroom furnishings. Mattresses and dressers and the like."

He considered that for a moment. "I might be able putting those things to good use," he said quietly.

****

YOSHI:

Something was wrong. I could feel it as I neared the lair. It was no smell, no sight that warned me; only a feeling deep inside of me that there was danger nearby. I slowed and scanned the area. It was dark and silent. I could hear water trickle in the distance. Only the quiet scurrying of rats warned me that I was not alone. I paused at the door and waited for my sixth sense to give me a more directed warning. But I felt nothing. Slowly, I pushed the door open.

A strange smell invaded my nostrils. The scent was unfamiliar, like nothing I had ever come into contact with before. It was not unpleasant, like burning metal but faintly sweet. The air felt charged, as if the oxygen itself were electrified. On the floor, I saw a thin trickle of light. I knelt next to the glowing material and brushed my fingers over it. It was a liquid, but much thicker than water. It glowed even on my fingers and I rubbed it together between my thumb and forefinger. What was it? And what was making it glow? Some sort of chemical reaction, perhaps. 

I stood and looked around me. Someone had been here. I knew that for certain now. They had left evidence of their visit. But why had they come? Had they left the oozing gel here on purpose?

I walked slowly to the table, on guard against the pitch blackness around me, and set the box of pizza on the tabletop. I considered lighting the lamp that rested there, but decided against it. I was comfortable in the darkness, and fully aware of my surroundings in this familiar place. And if, in fact, I was not alone, it would be to my advantage to remain in the darkness.

I walked through the living room, silent and cat-like. There was a faint glow that illuminated the silhouette of my bedroom door. Something, or someone, was inside my room. I watched the shadow for a moment, but it did not move. Finally, I pressed one hand to the wooden door and pushed it open.

The room was lit by a pool of the same light green fluid that had been spilled in the living room. I scanned the room instinctively for danger, but nothing moved save the four turtles crawling in the pool of glowing substance. I looked around me again, and relaxed slowly. Whoever had been here was long gone.

I felt a shooting pain come from my hand and glanced at it. But as quickly as it had come, it was gone. Strange. I flexed my fingers a few times, and felt nothing more. Oh well. My body was not as invincible as it once was. I sighed as I considered that. I was in no means incapable of practicing the arts, but I was perhaps less able to impliment them on a younger opponent, such as Saki. Dormant anger flared as I considered him, and I immediately pushed the thought aside. Why was I thinking of him now? I had not heard from him for many months.

I stepped forward, into the substance, and knelt down to retrieve the turtles. "What are you doing?" I smiled as I picked one of them up. He ducked inside of his shell instinctively. "You should be by the heater. You know that."

I cleaned the ooze from the underside of his shell and set him on the bed. I knew that he would not move from that spot, when the ground was so unfamiliar. I cleaned his brothers and carried them into the living room. I placed them by the space heater. To me, it was not particularly cold; but then, _I _was warm-blooded. They were not.

They did not move as I backed away from them. They made no attempt to emerge from their shells. I stared for a moment, slightly confused. Ordinarily, they would be halfway across the room by the time I backed five feet away.

Another sharp pain shot through me, and I looked down at my hand a second time. This time, the pain did not stop. The tips of my fingers were burning. In a moment, my entire palm began to sting. It felt a great deal like a chemical burn, but there was no evidence of irritation on my skin. I walked to the table and to the jug of water resting there. I poured some of it into the basin and washed my hands, hoping to remove whatever chemical was causing the burning sensation. 

That pool was going to be difficult to clean up if I could not get it on my skin. I considered that for a moment. I had knelt in that chemical as well. How foolish of me to expose myself to a foreign substance without any kind of protection. I was going to have to go up to the streets and to the truck stop where I was able to shower. I would never be able to wash all of it from my skin. 

My thoughts shifted for a moment to the turtles, and I wondered if it had affected their skin as well. It probably had. That would be reason enough for them to not come out of their shells. I should wash their skin first. With less surface area, they could potentially be killed by such a chemical.

I tensed at the sudden pain from my palm. My feet were beginning to burn, and my other hand. I could feel the heat spread over my legs to my knees. I felt as if a thousand needles had been stuck into my hand. I pulled away from the water as I realized that it was not helping. My skin tingled, and I could feel the chemical seep through my flesh. I stared in horror as I felt it flow to my fingertips. It was like acid flowing through my veins. For the first time, I considered that it might be deadly.

It spread over my hand slowly and began to run up the length of my arm. I stared at it in horror, well aware that there was nothing I could do. Whatever it was, it was inside of me and I could not get it out of my bloodstream. Even if it had been an option to seek medical help, I knew that I would not make it all the way to the hospital. I was helpless against this enemy.

The pain was becoming more intense. I clenched my teeth and took in a sharp breath as I felt it pulse through my hands and feet. My eyes stayed trained on my hands. I watched as the hair on the back of my hands began to grow at a noticeable pace. 

I felt a pressurized pain add to the fire in my blood and my fingers spread wide as every muscle tensed on its own accord. A scraping beneath my skin, added a new pain. The bones were changing. I could feel them transform, ripping cartilage between them. I forced myself to breathe, to concentrate on the air entering and exiting my lungs. 

The bones expanded; I felt several of them break and reform in a different pattern. They pressed against my fingertips, tearing through the thin layer of muscle. The bones were sharp tipped; whether they had reformed or were broken splinters I did not know. I felt the points scrape the inside of my skin and braced for more pain. 

It came like a _tsunami_, washing over me all at once. The infected blood reached my heart and I felt an explosion in my chest as it shot through my body. Bones cracked in my feet. The sharp points in my fingers ripped through the skin and tore off my fingernails. I could not take a breath to cry out. I could not move. I could not begin to fathom what was happening as my brain registered what was happening and I collapsed into blackness.


	29. Caught

****

CAUGHT

November 17, 1995

NC-17 scene goes here, Raph/Clarisse - http://www.angelfire.com/ok5/tmnt/fahter/caught.html

MICHAELANGELO:

I watched from the doorway as Raphael ran through the _kata _with practiced accuracy. I hated to admit it, but I almost envied him. Not for the face that he was good, but for the fact that he didn't care. He had what none of us did, in that every move he made, every success he had was done for himself, and not for anyone else. He didn't care if he met Splinter's high expectations, or if he outdid Leo. Every time I saw him, I thought more and more that he very well _could _kick Leo's ass if he tried. It was like he was naturally good at it, while the rest of us had to work for it. Leonardo worked harder than any of us, and his perserverance outdid Raphael's natural ability. Because Raphael had no desire to compete with him. Not in the martial arts, anyways. Now leadership... hell yeah, they'd fight over that. 

He moved silently, eyes closed, but I knew he saw me. I could feel his eyes on me, trying to figure out if I was a threat, and what I wanted. He didn't like being on display, especially when he knew he was liable to get criticized. Had I been Leo or Splinter, he would've already stopped. But he didn't cut the exercise short. He finished it, and held the last stance, breathing deep. Finally, he opened his eyes and looked directly at me. "What do you want, Mikey?" he asked.

For a moment, I felt like an intruder. His tone was calm, but the words were accusing. "That was good," I offered.

He shrugged and I smiled inwardly. He didn't care. He wouldn't care if I'd told him it was the best I'd ever seen. He didn't do it for me, or for anyone else. "You need something?" he asked again.

He was impatient, and not in the greatest mood. I wondered if he and Leo had been fighting. I hadn't heard it, but that didn't mean it hadn't happened. "I was just going to go up to the streets. You wanna go?"

"No."

"You sure? You haven't been out much."

He glared at me. "Thanks for the newsflash."

I folded my arms over my plastron, watching him as he picked up the towel he'd dropped in the corner of the mat. "You know, usually when we get a crime wave come through this city, you're the first one to rush out and bust heads." He said nothing. "Something wrong with you?"

"Yeah, Mike," he sighed. It was sarcasm and I knew it. "Something's wrong. Something's _really _bothering me and I just don't know how to deal with it. I think maybe I just need to cry."

I smiled. I hadn't seen Raph cry since we were five years old. "Why don't you just go bug Anna at the orphanage and leave me the hell alone?" he suggested.

I considered that for a moment. "Wanna go with me?"

"Where?"

"The orphanage?"

He laughed cynically. "Should I?" he challenged. He spun to face me, his eyes blazing. "Look, Mikey, I'm not like you, okay? I'm glad you go up there, I'm glad it makes you feel better, but I'm not like that."

I shook my head. "I didn't say you were, Raph. I'm just saying..."

"No."

"For _them_?"

"No."

"But Raph..."

"Mikey, if you don't knock it off I'm gonna hold you down and duct tape your mouth closed, got it?"

I smiled at the threat. It wouldn't be the first time. "You'd have to catch me first," I challenged. 

He walked past me, stopping briefly. "_Try _me, Mikey," he grinned evilly. 

I followed him into the living room. "So... what's the plan for the rest of the day?" I questioned. "You gonna lay in bed and mourn your pitiful life?"

We walked into the kitchen. "I oughtta deck you, Mike, you know that?"

I laughed. "For _what_? Pointing out the truth?"

He turned and looked at me, and I got ready to run if he made a move. He studied me for a minute, like he was considering it, but turned back to the kitchen sink. He didn't say anything as he filled a glass with water and brought it to his lips. "Or... maybe you and Clarisse could lay in bed _together _and finish what you started in the shower this morning."

He choked and his head snapped forward as he leaned over the sink, almost dropping the glass. I smiled slyly as he coughed and took a minute to catch his breath before looking at me. "What!"

I shrugged, still smiling, but let him make the next move. He just stared at me for a moment, then looked away, shaking his head. "No, it's not..." He started to deny it, then his head snapped back to face me. "How the _fuck _do you know about that!" he demanded, abandoning the idea of denial. It was just as well. He knew I'd get the truth out of him eventually. And he knew I wouldn't tell on him.

"Heard you," I answered simply.

"What do you mean, you _heard _me; you weren't even home!"

I chuckled to myself. "Maybe I was, and you just didn't hear me come in because you were too engrossed in whatever it was you were _doing _in there."

He turned and leaned back against the counter, running his hands down his face. "Oh, god," he groaned. "You gotta be kidding me, Mikey."

I laughed. "So is this a... spur of the moment thing? Or have you been with her for a while?"

He glared at me. "It's whatever you want to think it is, Mike; I'm not admitting _nothing_."

"I didn't think so," I shrugged. "But I thought I'd give you a little warning. Next time... you might want to keep it down. I'd be surprised if Splinter didn't hear you."

He cringed. "I didn't think we _were _that loud."

"Well maybe you wanna gag her next time or something," I suggested, smiling. "Get her a dog chain and a choker?" He glared at me. "Oh, I got it! We could call her Kinky Clarisse! Get her a 1-900 number and we'll be set for life!"

He grabbed the towel off the counter and threw it at me. "You are _such _an ass."

I shielded myself from the towel and whatever else might follow it. "Yeah, I know," I grinned. "But you love me. Not like you have much of a choice right now. Blackmail is a beautiful thing."

I turned and ran as he sprinted after me.


	30. Home

****

HOME

November 24, 1995

****

ANNA:

Michaelangelo the Kitten moven from room to room. There was not a more loved animal in the world. Michaelangelo the Turtle also frequented the rooms we stayed in. I'd never seen anyone with as much energy as he had. He could play for hours with those girls, and still be just as wired afterward as he was when he showed up.

Leonardo came by a few times, too, though he had been by a lot less since the crime wave. It had already claimed more than two dozen lives, and more of the Turtles' time with each passing day. Police blamed a few key gangs, and Leo blamed himself for each death. It was a side of him I hadn't seen before. Maybe he hadn't felt it as strongly when the orphanage was bombed, or maybe he just hadn't allowed me to see it. At any rate, he had certainly grown more serious over the past few days. Mike assured me that he would be back to normal soon, and I took comfort in that.

But up until a week ago, he had come to see me almost nightly, even two months after the bombing. We'd sit for hours by the window and talk about whatever subject came up. I'd never met anyone as firmly grounded in his belief system as he was, and I looked forward to his visits. Now that my apartment was cleaned up, there was actually a place to sit.

"This is a lot of work," Kristie sighed, dropping the sponge back into the bucket of bleach.

"Yes, but think of when it's all done," I reminded her. "You'll have a room of your own again."

She slid to the floor, groaning. "I feel like I've been cleaning walls for half my _life_."

I smiled. "Well, the paint won't stick if they're not clean," I reminded her.

She hunched over her legs and I smiled sympathetically. I knew she was tired of this. We all were, really. We'd been cleaning this building for the past two months, day after day. It was being remodled one floor at a time, and it was a _lot _of work.

"Miss Anna! Miss Anna!" I looked toward the open door. "Miss Anna there's a snake in our room!"

"Close the door and stay away from there," I advised, not really fully comprehending what they were saying.

"But Miss Anna, what if it gets out and comes to bite us while we're sleeping?"

"What's the problem?"

I turned toward the unexpected voice at the window. "Mikey!"

He was rushed by four young girls. Kristie wiped her hands on the front of her dress before she scrambled to her feet and joined them. He smiled as they hugged his waist. "Mike, there's a big ugly snake in our room!"

"Will you get it outta there?"

"Please?"

"We don't want it to bite us."

Michaelangelo glanced up at me. I forced a smile. "Good morning, Mike."

"'Morning," he grinned back.

"What're you doing here?"

"I was bored," he shrugged. "Figured I'd come give you guys a hand. If that's okay with you." He smiled knowingly. I had no problem finding work for him to do in a building where half the occupants were afraid to get their hands dirty.

"Mikey, come kill this snake."

"What?" he laughed. "What snake?"

"The snake in our room."

"There's a snake in your room?" he teased.

"That's what we're _trying _to _tell _you!" LeAnne whined.

"Well, how'd it get there?"

"We don't know."

"Just kill it, Mikey, pleeeease?"

He pushed past them. "We don't need to _kill _it," he mumbled. "What kind of snake is it?"

"I think it's a Boa Constrictor."

He froze. "Then again, maybe we do," he reconsidered, jokingly. 

They tugged on his hands and he smiled. "Mikey, come _on_."

"Be right back," he called over his shoulder as he disappeared.

I smiled after him and went back to scrubbing the dirt and tar off of the walls. Whoever had lived here had been a heavy smoker. I hated cleaning rooms like this. I didn't even hear Mike when he walked back in. But I heard the muffled snickers of the girls at the door. I turned toward them.

"What are you... Omigod!"

I jumped back, dropping the sponge on the floor and tripping over the bucket of bleached water. It spilled over the tile floor. The girls laughed. Mike smiled and lowered his arm. The snake was wrapped around his wrist and he was holding its head carefully. It was very much alive.

"Tell me that thing's not poisonous," I pleaded.

"Nah," Mike smiled. "Just a garden snake." He studied it for a moment. "Not quite sure where he came from though."

The snake's tongue flickered in and out. I watched it, frozen. "Okay, okay, he's very... nice. Can you take him somewhere else?"

"Aw, don'tcha wanna hold him?" Mike teased, raising his arm. 

I jumped back. "No, no, that's okay," I protested. "Really."

Michaelangelo laughed. "Alright. Got a box or something I can put him in? I'll take him with me when I leave. Put him in the park or something."

"Will this work?" Kristie asked, finding a shoebox in the pile of abandoned garbage we'd found in the apartment.

"That's perfect," Mike answered.

He deposited the snake in the box and once the lid was safely in place, I knelt down to clean up the spilled water. Mike dropped to his knees to help me. "Sorry," he chuckled. "I couldn't resist."

"S'okay," I mumbled sarcastically. "I needed to clean the floor anyhow."

"Mikey, will you come play with us?" Raeanne asked.

Michaelangelo looked up. "I'll play with you in a little bit, girls. Right now I'm gonna help Miss Anna clean for a while."

"You can take a break if you want," I offered.

Kristie was the only one who stayed. She knelt down beside me and began mopping up the mess. "This is gonna be my room," she grinned. "Mine and Amy's and LeAnne's and Jenny's."

Mike smiled. "Sweet. Can't wait to see it when it's all done."

Kristie sprang to her feet. "You want something to drink?" she offered. "I can go get it for you. The fridge here doesn't work, but the one in Mandy's room does."

"Sure, Kris, that'd be great."

"Whatcha want?"

He shrugged. "Whatever you got."

She disappeared quickly and I stood up and walked to the sink, taking the bucket with me. "So you guys are almost done, huh?" Mike observed.

"Yeah, only two more floors to go," I sighed. "But I guess it's good considering how many floors there _are _to this building."

He smiled. "It looks really good," he mumbled. "What's done, I mean. I like how you knocked the walls out."

"Yeah, and we put extra closets in, too," I added. 

Each apartment consisted of a bathroom, a large room that had once been the living room and the bedroom, but wasn't separated anymore, and a small kitchen. We'd taken out the stoves and the refridgerators, as a safety precaution. Too many children had died playing hide and seek in air-tight fridges and freezers, and the gas stoves were obviously a danger. We also took the front doors off of the younger girls' rooms, as a safety precaution. 

Each floor would have two refridgerators that worked, one in the supervisor's apartment and one in the "lounge" apartment, which was open to everyone and had a TV and sofas. People had donated all kinds of things when they found out about this building. We had pool tables and air hockey, and even a few arcade games. They all went into the lounges. The girls could use that fridge, and the older girls could use the stove.

The donations were enough to have all the electric and plumbing fixed, and we'd been doing fundraisers to get the money for paint and cleaning supplies and equipment. One company had donated entire rolls of carpet, another had given us tile. People gave us lamps and desks and beds, and one by one, we finished the rooms. 

"How many girls do you actually care for?" Mike asked.

"Over six hundred," I sighed.

His eyes widened. "That many?" he cried, obviously shocked.

I nodded. "Why do you think we needed such a big building?" I smiled. "We can fill this up, Mikey. We had the younger girls three or four to a room in the old building, and the older ones were two to a room."

He let that sink in for a minute. "They weren't all in the hospital..." he guessed.

"They were sent to different hospitals and homeless shelters," I explained. "They tried to keep people with their floors, but it wasn't always possible."

"So how many apartments are in this complex?"

Kristie ran back into the room and handed Mike a can of Sprite. "Thanks, kid," he grinned. She smiled and turned to me. "You want one, Miss Anna?"

"No, I'm okay," I assured her.

She looked away briefly. "Is it okay if I go play Pac-Man with Amy?" she asked. "She's trying to beat my high score."

I smiled. "Go ahead," I approved. "But no fighting with her about it, okay?"

"I promise, Miss Anna!" she called over her shoulder as she darted out into the hallway. 

I stared after her. "There's six apartments on each floor, and thirty-two floors," I informed Mike. "So that's almost two hundred apartments."

"Wow," he mumbled. "That's a lot of work."

"Yeah, two months worth," I laughed. "And believe me, I've felt every minute of it."

He smiled. "I bet."

"There's also a large dining room area at the top," I continued. "Like a banquet hall. It's going to be a big cafeteria when we get through with it."

"What are you guys doing in the meantime?" he asked.

"We're all in charge of a floor, just like it'll be when it's all finished. But right now we all have to make meals for all the girls on our floor."

He considered that for a moment and took a long drink from the can in his hands. "How's Marie?" he asked, staring blankly at the wall.

"She's doing pretty well," I answered. "The doctors fitted her with a prosthetic foot, so she's going through therapy to try and re-learn how to walk."

He smiled and snapped out of his trance. "I should go see her. I haven't talked to her in, like, three weeks."

"Yeah, I'm sure she'd like to see you," I agreed. He was quiet for a minute, looking around the apartment. "How's Clarisse?" I asked.

"Oh, she's fine," he sighed. "Things are starting to get a little tense, you know. She doesn't like being locked up in the sewer and I don't blame her. But then, she doesn't want to leave either, so I don't know what the hell is going on." He turned back to me. "It's only a matter of time before it gets messy."


	31. Adapting

****

ADAPTING

October, 1977

YOSHI:

My body felt strange. 

I realized that something was wrong before I was even fully conscious. I opened my eyes slowly and for a moment considered that I might be blind. I could see nothing. But then, there was no light in the room. I closed my eyes again and lay still for a moment. I was alive. The fire in my veins had died. But not before it had run its course. What had it done to me?

I clenched my fist gently, and felt pain at my fingertips. It was not intense; more like an old wound that is disturbed again. I was not bleeding. A dull ache reverberated through my body, but I was not paralyzed. My jaw hurt fiercely and I tasted blood. I ran my tongue over the backs of my teeth and received a shock. The entire formation of my jaw was different. It was... longer somehow. More pointed. I opened my mouth, then closed it again, then ran my tongue over the jagged edges of my teeth. They were sharp, perhaps like a dog's.

I heard a loud noise and tensed. As I did, I could feel the muscles in my body cling to an entirely different bone structure. Well, perhaps not totally different. But it felt strangely foreign to me. All was silent again. There was another loud noise- like a scraping. But the room was pitch black. I could not see anything. 

I took a deep breath in and felt my lungs expand fully and contract again. My memory of the past few... what? Minutes? Hours? How long had I been unconscious? At any rate, I remembered what had happened. But beyond that, memories were fuzzy. They came into focus slowly as I began to move my arms and legs. 

Gradually, I sat up. Holding my head up was strangely difficult. I shuddered to think of why. What did I look like? I felt so stiff and lifeless in this body; would I ever be able to move freely again? I reached up slowly and grabbed the edge of the table. As I stood, I felt as if I were learning to walk again. I was unsteady, and I fell, unable to hold myself up with my arms alone. Every muscle in my body hurt. I felt weak and helpless, but strength was returning. Perhaps if I just waited here a moment...

I rested against the leg of the table, slipping in and out of consciousness. I was not sure how long I stayed there, but it must have been many hours. Only the noises awoke me, and I wondered what they could be. Sometimes a scrape; sometimes a crack- like a rock being thrown against the wall.

Finally, I managed to pull myself to my feet. I ran my fingers over the tabletop in search of the matches, and stopped as a deafeningly loud hiss came from in front of me. I froze, but there was no sound. My hand resting on the table, I suddenly realized that I could not feel it. Only my fingertips were against the wood, but I felt nothing against them except for a slight pressure. I raised my hand and pressed my fingertips into the palm of my other hand. I felt sharp points, like claws coming out of my fingers.

Another hiss resounded loudly in my ears, though more softly than the first. I froze as I connected the sound to my surroundings. I brushed my hands together and heard the same noise. That loud noise was _my _doing! I stopped for a moment, then pressed my hand against the tabletop. Another hiss as my hand smoothed over the surface. It was as if my hearing were amplified a thousand times over.

I quickly evaluated my other senses. I could not see, and the table felt no different under my touch. My tongue had tasted blood, which seemed no different than any other time I had encountered it. But my sense of smell was more acute. I suddenly realized how much more acute it _was_ as I took in the world around me. I could separate the scents, and identify each one as if it were right in front of me. The acidic, burning smell was strong, as was the smell of... what was that? In my mind, I knew; but it was almost too much to accept. I could smell blood. My _own _blood, perhaps. Another scent I was unfamiliar with came across my nose. No, it was several scents. One... two... three... four... five... six of them. I pushed my curiosity aside and reached for the matches.

I wanted to light the oil lamp, but I found a candle more easily accessible. My fingers did not want to do what my brain told them to, much of the time. When I finally lit the match, I saw why. I nearly dropped the flame in surprise. My hand was covered in fur. Thick claws protruded from my fingertips. What had happened to me?

In shock, I lit the candle. The room was suddenly illuminated. My vision flickered between color and black and white, finally deciding on a colored image. I turned slowly to the mirror on the wall, and froze as I stared at the figure I saw.

It was not me. It _could _not be me. It was inhuman! I stared at the mirror for a long time, an unidentifiable rage building inside of me. Suddenly, my arm lashed out, fist smashing through the glass. It shattered into a million tiny fragments, burying many of them in the skin beneath my fur. I screamed in frustration as angry tears burned the backs of my eyes. My vision flickered again and lost its color.

I spun and grabbed the rack beside me, spilling weapons across the mat on the floor. A table on the other side of me split in half as I attacked it with my forearm. A glass sitting on it fell and shattered. Blinded by fury, I threw the chairs around the table to the side, and reached for the oil lamp in the center of it. It hit the wall above the makeshift sink and exploded with a loud crash. My hand fell to the next available object, but my eyes caught it before I could let go.

Sakura.

I breathed hard as memories and new realizations came over me simultaneously. It was over. Any hopes I had possessed of seeing her again were dashed to a million pieces. My hand trembled around the glass figurine, and with a cry of rage I flung it across the room. It hit the wall and tinkled to the ground. 

My eyes came to rest on a new and drastically unfamiliar sight. I was not alone in this room. Four sets of wide eyes watched me in fear. The turtles had been mutated just like I was. But into what? They were still turtles, but they looked almost like children. They were not infants. If they had been human, I would have guessed them to be no less than two years old. But they did not speak, did not cry or attempt to walk. They watched me, and otherwise did not move. What _were _they? Were they children? Were they no more than strangely mutated animals?

My fury subsided as I watched their confused, frightened expressions. No animal I had ever seen was so articulate with their expression. I heaved a few breaths, still trembling, and closed my eyes. This was no dream, and to pray that it was one was foolish and pointless. I had to accept this, and quickly. I did not want to offend these new friends, as they may be the only ones I would have contact with for the rest of my life.

I regained my composure slowly, and looked back at the four turtles, huddled in a corner of the room. How was I to communicate with them? Surely I had already frightened them. What was the best way to mend the damage I could not change? Food, perhaps. Whether they were more human or animal, they would have to eat. And both children and my pets looked to me for food. But what did they _eat_? Surely I could not feed them raw hamburger anymore. I did not know what to give them. For that matter, I did not have a great deal of food available right now.

On the kitchen table was the box of pizza I had brought home. I had not touched it, with all that had happened. Would they eat that? I picked it up and walked over to them, unsteady on my feet. All four of them shrank back, and I heard a slight whimper come from one of them. It sounded like a scream to my ears. They had vocal chords of some sort. I set the pizza on the floor a few feet in front of them, and opened the box. I backed away, waiting to see how they would react. They looked at me, then at the food, then at each other. After a moment of tense silence, one of them pulled away from the huddle.

He stayed low to the ground, his eyes on me, as he crawled to the pizza. They were not children. Not entirely, anyway. It was an animalistic intelligence that he used, warning me to stay away. He approached the box and his eyes shifted to its contents. He studied it for a minute, tilting his head slightly, then pulled his legs underneath him and sat up like a child would, suddenly disinterested in me. 

He reached into the box and poked at the pizza, then raised his fingers to his lips. I considered speaking, but feared I might frighten him. So I remained quiet, and watched as one of his brothers crawled over to him, looking more curious than intimidated. Soon all four of them were around the box, and they began to pull the pizza apart. One of them looked up and saw me watching. He ducked his head down instantly, until only his eyes remained above his shell. 

I laughed quietly at his display of shyness. They were more intelligent. In their previous state, they would not have even acknowledged my looking at them, unless I was reaching toward them. Nor would they have acknowledged my voice. But now all four of them were looking at me. I froze, and waited to see what they would do. I was not sure whether I expected them to drag their food into a corner, or crawl over to where I was standing. They did neither. They only watched me. 

The shy one slowly raised his head again, and looked down at his messy hands. Another turned and looked at the shattered glass on the floor, then at me. His face was marked by a look of confusion. It was amazing, how they displayed such emotion. Surely they were more than mere animals. 

As the others went back to eating, the one who had first approached the box now turned away from it. He crawled over to me on his hands and knees, then stopped and turned to sit a few feet in front of me. He was covered in pizza sauce up to his elbows. I knelt slowly, and he watched me. His face showed fear, but he did not move. "Do not be afraid," I whispered.

He jumped back and scrambled to get away from me, surprised by the sudden and apparently unfamiliar noise. I lowered my eyes and did not move. For a long time, nothing moved in the room. The three turtles at the pizza box stared at me, unmoving. The fourth, who had approached me, was frozen in place a few feet away. I waited to see if any one of them would move toward me again, but they did not. After a moment of silence, I stood slowly and stepped back. I turned away and set to cleaning the broken glass from the floor.

***

Whatever they were, I immediately knew they would be prone to mischief. The two rooms that I had used for so many years would need to be expanded. For so long, I had needed nothing more than a kitchen, an open area for practice, and a bedroom. But now it was obvious that I would need to remodel.

There was a collapsed tunnel leading from the west wall of the living room. Perhaps there was another room on the other side of it, though I did not know how far it might be. There was also a collapsed archway, like the one leading to my bedroom, on the west wall. Of my large room to the south, I had created two rooms. One had been occupied by Sakura for a short time, and had been unused during her absence. I had not been inside of the room for years. It was separated from mine by a wall of cinderblock that I had built. I knew where to get more of the cement bricks, should I need them. I wasn't sure I would.

For now, I intended to give all four of them a place to sleep in the room Sakura had stayed in. That was not the problem. I was more concerned that they may hurt themselves on the weapons I had stationed in the northeast corner of the living area. I doubted I could move the entire makeshift _dojo _into my small bedroom. I needed another large room.

I also needed electricity, which was going to be much more difficult to come by. As it stood, I lit the rooms with candles and oil lamps. But those were going to be much more difficult to come by now that I could not be seen in public. And lighting a home with fire was not wise with four young children.

They watched as I cleared away the rubble in the archway, one piece at a time. I watched them as inconspicuously as possible. They seemed to play with each other. I heard them laugh, and make incoherant conversation with noises that sounded almost human. They wandered back to the pizza box every so often, crawling on all fours. But for the most part, they watched me with a strange sort of fascination.

It had been nearly two hours when I finally reached my arm through a small hole I'd created, and felt nothing on the other side of it. I had broken through the wall. Pushing and pulling at the rubble, I created a hole large enough to crawl through, and took a candle with me into the new room.

It was approximately the size of my bedroom. But far more interesting than its size was its contents. I looked around in amazement. A washtub was at the corner of the room. A half-rotted table stood next to it. Boxes were stacked against one wall, and I walked to them. I brushed a thick coating of dust from the surface of one of the boxes. Why were these things here? How long had they been here?

I set the candle down, and opened one of the boxes. It was filled with candles. I stared at its contents for a moment, then moved it aside. The box underneath it had blankets. They were old, and falling apart. I turned away from the boxes and scanned the walls. There was a calendar on the table, and I scanned the dates. It was from 1926, more than fifty years ago, and opened to the month of February. 

An oil lamp and a box of matches was nearby. I set the candle down, and lit the lamp. Light flooded the room. I stopped as I saw something against the wall. It was an electrical outlet. There was electricity in this room. At least, there had been at one point. I had no way to test if it still worked.

I moved slowly around the room until I found a doorway. The smell of death invaded my nostrils as I stepped into the room. Light fell over a small bed, covered with fallen debris from the ceiling. I approached cautiously, stepping over sharp rocks. As I reached the edge of the bed, I saw my sense of smell had warned me of from the moment I entered the room. I jumped back in surprise. It was a skeleton. It must have been crushed by the falling debris. Someone had lived here, years before I had. 

I gave myself a moment to catch my breath, stepping back. There must have been an earthquake, or some such disaster. It mattered very little fifty-one years later. A part of me wanted to seal this tomb again. I did not know what to do with this body, or this furniture. It was nothing I could use. But the electricity was invaluable, if I could make it work. Perhaps by tracing it, I could find the source and provide such luxury throughout the lair.

I stepped back and looked around the first room again. After a moment of hesitation, I walked to the washtub, and turned the faucet. Air hissed at me for a few seconds as it depressurized. I did not expect it to work. To my surprise, the water ran. It came in spurts first, then in a stream of rust-colored liquid. I watched as it seemed to thin, then ran clear. 

I smiled. In the midst of all this, something was going right.


	32. Anniversary

****

ANNIVERSARY

November 29, 1995

DONATELLO:

"Anna?"

If she was startled, she didn't show it. She hung her head, hiding her face behind her hair. "Hi, Donny."

"What're you doing up here?" I asked softly. She didn't answer. I didn't press her for an explanation. It wasn't like I couldn't guess. 

I approached her slowly and leaned on the cement ledge, looking across the street at the barren site that once was her home. "Three months."

I said nothing, although I knew exactly what she meant. Three months ago tonight, that home fell apart. Three months ago, almost to the minute, the world stopped for just an instant, and when it began again it was without thirty-eight of its children. I closed my eyes and hung my head, offering a reverent silence.

A light snow was falling, and the site looked surreal and ghostly in the glow of the city lights. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Anna brush tears away. I stared down at the street. Every so often, a car passed. This was a remote part of the city, and not nearly as busy as Time Square.

The snowflakes came a little more frequently, and Anna looked up, wiping her eyes again. "When I was little," she whispered, hugging her jacket around her, "my mother used to tell me that the rain was tears of joy that God cried, over another child being brought into the world." She paused for a minute, and bowed her head again. "I wonder if He cries, too, for children who die."

I watched a woman pass by on the sidewalk below. Instinctively, my eyes scanned the area for any sign of danger, but she was perfectly alone. Still, my eyes followed her until she walked up the steps to an apartment complex and slid her key into the lock. With the recent rise in crime, muggings were even more common than they were normally. Anna was watching her too. "Did you know they're fighting over what to do with this lot?" she mumbled.

"No," I admitted.

She laughed cynically. The white flakes rested on her cheeks, and melted to water that ran with her tears. "Yeah, well... they are."

"Why?"

She sighed. "Some people want a memorial, other people want to build another building here. I guess it's prime land for business. And then there's people who want to put some kind of a homeless shelter or foster group home."

"What's that?"

"An orphanage," she rephrased. "Well, sort of. I dunno. We get kids who were taken away from their parents for abuse or whatever, so I guess it kinda is the same."

"But if there's already a place for them, they don't need another one," I observed.

"Yeah," she whispered. "But they don't care."

"Who's they?"

She shrugged. "Developers, city leaders... whoever else wants to give their two cents. It's about a lot of things, but it's not about the kids."

I considered that for a minute, then turned to her. "What do you want?"

She was quiet for a long time, then she looked at me. "I wanna bring those kids back, Don," she whispered. She paused for a minute as I let that soak in. "And if I can't do that, what the hell does it matter who builds what on a plot of land?"

I looked down at the street. "Yeah, but isn't it a little more than that?" I mumbled. "I mean, it's kind of a burial ground of sorts, isn't it?"

She said nothing. I closed my eyes and breathed in the icy air as the snow began to blind me. "I'm sorry," I finally sighed.

"For what?"

I turned and looked at her. She was crying again. Beyond her, a blanket of white was falling over the rooftops. "For your loss."

She shook her head and sobbed quietly. I looked away, but watched her out of the corner of my eye as she shuddered and sunk down into her jacket. She was almost shaking from the cold. I wrapped an arm around her shoulder, hesitating for long enough to see how she reacted. She tensed for just a moment, then leaned into me. She turned and draped her arms over my neck and I hugged her back. "If I haven't told you before, Donny," she sobbed into my neck, "thank you."

"For what?" I asked. 

"For saving my life."

I smiled faintly. "Hey, thank Leo. It was his bright idea."

"For everything, Donny," she corrected. "Everything you did that night. The people you saved. You gotta know that those children will never forget you."

I hugged her for a few minutes while she cried, then pulled away from her. I brushed her hair out of her eyes. "You oughtta get inside," I mumbled. She nodded mutely, her eyes downcast. "Hey." I tilted her chin up gently, forcing her to look at me. "Want me to walk you home?"

She stared at me for a minute, then nodded.

****

ANNA:

"You've never been here before, have you?"

"No, actually, I haven't," he mumbled, looking around nervously. "And I'm not too crazy about the idea of walking around through the halls."

"Why not?" I asked.

He glanced at me. "No place to hide."

I smiled. "You won't need to hide," I assured him. "Everyone will be asleep. Besides, if anyone does see you, they'll just think you're Mike."

That shocked him for a minute. "Mike?" he questioned, as if he couldn't be sure he'd heard me right.

"Yeah, he walks these halls a lot," I grinned. "Or was that a big secret I wasn't supposed to let out?"

He studied me for a moment. It probably was a big secret, and being kept for a damn good reason. Splinter would probably kill him if he knew. I hadn't thought about that, but it wasn't hard to read the look on Donatello's face. "You're not going to get him in trouble, are you?" I asked nervously.

He stared at me for a minute, as if the thought hadn't crossed his mind. "Are you kidding?" he laughed. "That guy's got more blackmail on me than I care to admit there _is_!"

We made our way to my apartment and he relaxed as I closed the door. "I think I'll take the express elevator down," he mumbled, eyeing the window.

I smiled. "That's fine. That's how Mike and Leo usually come in."

"So Leo comes to see you too, huh?" he grinned, sitting down on the arm of the couch.

I shrugged, and realized that my hair was wet and cold. "Yeah, we talk a lot."

"'Bout what?"

I walked to the hall closet and pulled out two towels. I threw one at Don and he caught it just before it hit him in the face. I stepped in my bedroom, around the corner, but left the door open. "Whatever comes up," I called, stripping my shirt off and throwing my robe over my shoulders. The bottom of my jeans were all wet from the snow, and I didn't think I had another pair at the moment. At any rate, I didn't want to go searching for them. "He... has very strong beliefs."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Don called back.

I laughed quietly as I stepped out of my wet jeans and tied the robe tightly. "And you don't?" I challenged, pulling off my drenched socks.

"Mmm," he acknowledged. I picked up the wet clothes off the floor and draped them over the open top drawer of the dresser. "No, I really don't argue with him too much. Raph does, though. Just the past year, it's started getting a little tense. They always got along fine before that." He reconsidered that. "Well, not always. But usually. They didn't _really _fight, just kinda bickered, you know?"

He glanced up as I walked back into the room, towel-drying my hair. "Raph likes to see how far the rules can be stretched before they're broken," he explained.

I laughed as I sat down on the barstool and leaned forward on my knees. "Yeah, I can see where that would irritate Leo."

He smiled. "I think a lot of it, too, is that they kind of... subconsciously fight for leadership."

I stared at him. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "Well, they've both got these leadership personalities and they have very different ways of doing things. So they butt heads a lot."

We stared at each other for a minute. I couldn't hide my amusement. Leo was always so calm and controlled around me, I couldn't see him fighting with his brother. But I had no reason to doubt Donatello. I smiled to myself. I'd have to ask him about it later.

"So does Leo come over here a lot?" he asked. "I mean, you don't have to answer if you don't want to," he quickly corrected.

I laughed. "No, it's okay. I got nothing to hide. He comes over all the time." I sighed. "Well, at least he _did _before the gangs decided it was time to take over the city."

Donny nodded slightly, obviously deep in thought. "You like him?" he finally asked.

I felt my face get hot and he laughed quietly. "Sorry," he apologized. "It's just that I was wondering because he's obviously..." He paused and shrugged slightly. "Well, it's not really my place to say anything."

"No, what?" I pried. "What were you going to say?"

He shrugged. "Just that... I don't know. He's been different since he met you. More... I dunno. Secretive? And a lot less demanding. Just a personal observation."

I studied him for a minute, trying to determine how serious he was. I had to wonder what else he knew, that he wasn't going to tell me. He didn't give me much time to figure out what I was going to say next before he stood up and turned away. 

"I better go," he mumbled. He glanced back at me as he reached the window. "You'll be okay here?"

I nodded, still slightly dumbfounded. "Okay then. I'll see you."

"Bye."

And with that, he was gone.


	33. Memories

****

MEMORIES

March, 1979

****

SPLINTER:

_"Please give me that picture."_

I stared down at the pile of photographs, my eyes coming to rest on each one before I dropped it into the flames. The camera had seemed priceless, years ago. It recorded our lives, and I thought that I would die before these photographs did. 

__

"What picture?"

"The photograph you just took of me!"

"Oh, that _picture."_

Tears burned my eyes as I ran my fingers over the photo, as if I could somehow touch her through it. Anger boiled inside of me and I forced it aside, surrendering instead to the sadness. I breathed deep and dropped another memory into the ashes of a former life. Another finds its way to my hands, and memories hit me forcefully, burning my eyes and searing my heart.

_"If you want pictures of naked women, go buy yourself a magazine."_

He buries his fingers in her hair and pulls her lips to his, kissing her gently. "But it is only your _body that I want," he teases her._

"Yoshi, I refuse."

He wraps his arms around her waist and holds her close to him, parting her robe so that the heat from her body can rest against his naked chest. Mere centimeters away from her face, he smiles at her. "You cannot refuse me, Sakura-chan," he whispers knowingly. His lips brush hers and she melts into him involuntarily. "Your heart will not let you."

No photographs were so hard to let go of as these. The looks of surprise, the smiles, the laughter... no memories meant so much as the ones I held in my hand. They reminded me of what it felt like to make love to her. Even now, they jolted my emotions with the now-unfamiliar excitement that always came over me as I watched her undress. 

It was not lust for her body that made it difficult to let go. It was the knowledge that this intimacy we had shared was gone forever. She had been so hesitant, and I never understood why. But she had trusted me once she had my word that no one else would ever see them. 

_"You are so beautiful..."_

She smiles and opens her arms to him, welcoming him to the space beside her on the bed. "I love you, Yoshi."

My heart burned in my chest. I closed my eyes and relinquished the pieces of my life, one at a time.


	34. Love

****

LOVE

December 5, 1995

This might be borderline NC-17, but you'll just have to deal because it's important.

LEONARDO:

_I pull her close to me and she buries her face in my neck as we sink into the folds of the blankets. "We shouldn't be doing this," she moans. _

"I can't wait anymore," I whisper back, burying my fingers in her hair. 

I lay on my back with her on top of me and kiss her neck. "I love you, Anna," I whisper, kissing her earlobes. She moans slightly and sits up. Her shirt falls off her shoulders and I feel my insides twist in immediate, painful desire as she presses her palms to my chest. She smiles, and leans back down to kiss me.

***

A bright light was shining in my eyes. Even though they were closed, I could feel it sting. I turned away, but knew I was already awake. The dream was gone, as much as I wished it weren't. I bit back a scream of frustration, and buried my face in the pillow underneath my head. I cringed at the discomfort from the biggest hard-on of my _life_, but didn't allow it to drop between my legs. Still half asleep, I wasn't sure where I was, but I knew I wasn't in my own bed. 

I opened my eyes slowly and stared at the back of the couch. Why was I out here? I must've accidently fallen asleep here. There was a voice coming from somewhere. It was Mike, but it was far away. I glanced at the clock. Midnight. I sat up, still hard as a rock and plenty frustrated, and looked over the back of the couch. Michaelangelo was on the phone. I could hear him laughing. Why did he have to be so loud? And who was he talking to at 12:00 at night, anyways? 

Facing the back of the couch and sure that I was alone, I figured I was safe. I allowed my erection out from under my plastron and breathed deep, closing my eyes as I took it in my hand. I instinctively wanted to bring back the sweet agony of the dream, of the waiting, of the light, feathered touches that made me shiver. But the images were too elusive to recreate with any degree of clarity, and I wanted to scream that it wasn't fair.

_Knock it off, Leo,_ I warned myself_. You're not even in your own bed. It's not a good idea to make a mess all over the couch._

I wanted to scream. What was _wrong _with me? I felt like I was twelve-years-old again. My body craved release, but I pushed the desire aside. Not now. This wasn't the time or place. I lay still for a few minutes, trying to calm the instinctive urges. The arousal didn't fade though, and I wondered if this was some new form of torture one of our enemies had discovered. Maybe someone had sprinkled me with fairy dust and made me fall in love knowing I would never get satisfaction. I gave serious thought to shredding the pillow beneath me, but I found my sanity in time and knew it wouldn't help. Damn it, I _hated _feeling this way!

I couldn't get the dream out of my mind. Maybe I should call her... I pushed the thought aside. For one thing, she didn't have a phone. For another, she was asleep and I didn't want to wake her up. Besides, what would I say? "Oh, yeah, I just had this dream about having sex with you." Right. That would go over real well. 

God, I missed her. Four days, and it felt like I hadn't seen her in ages. I was _dreaming _about her, for Christ's sake! I waited silently for the erection to subside. This was rediculous. And it wasn't the first time, either. I sincerely doubted it would be the last. How long was I going to let this go on before I did something about it? 

_Something like _what_, Leo? _I answered myself. _What are you going to do?_

I had to tell her.

_Tell her what? That you're in love with her?_

I let those words sink in for a minute. Yes, I was in love with her. At least I _thought _I was. I'd never been in love before, so I wasn't sure what to compare it to.

Mike's door opened again. I pulled my erection back into my shell and sat up. "Oh, hey Leo," he greeted. "Did I wake you up?"

I glared at him briefly. "I'll take that as a yes," he concluded. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," I mumbled. He turned away and I put my feet on the floor as he disappeared for a minute. I hid my face in my hands. I had to stop this if I ever wanted to get a full night's sleep again.

****

SPLINTER:

Leonardo was sitting in the living room, not meditating, but staring intently at the blank TV screen. I watched him for a moment, as Michaelagnelo walked back into the room. "Helps if you turn it on, bro," he suggested.

Leonardo snapped out of his trance and acknowledged his brother. Neither one of them saw me. Michaelangelo paused on his way to his room, from the kitchen. "You okay, Leo?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Somethin' botherin' you?"

Leonardo sighed. "No, I'm just... thinking. I'm alright."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Michaelangelo did not press the issue further. "Kinda late isn't it? I mean, it's almost midnight. Aren't you usually asleep by now?"

Leonardo sighed. "Yeah."

Michaelangelo paused a moment to wait for an explanation, then looked away. "Well, I'm goin' to bed. G'night."

"Night."

Michaelangelo left the room. Presuming he was now alone, Leonardo sank back into the sofa and closed his eyes. His hand raised and rested against his forehead. "What's happening to me?" he whispered to himself.

His words concerned me, and I stepped forward, out of my room. "Leonardo?"

He sat up quickly. "Master," he greeted hastily. "I didn't see you."

I smiled. "I assumed as much."

He studied me for a moment. "How long have you been watching me?" he questioned nervously.

I sat down in a nearby chair. "I have been watching you for more than sixteen years," I answered, "and I have never seen you look more distraught than you now do."

He looked away. "It's late, _Sensei,_" he reminded me. "You should be in bed."

"What troubles you, my student?"

He hung his head. "I don't know."

I studied him carefully. It was not like Leonardo to avoid my questions. He sighed. "I mean, I _know_, but I don't know why it bothers me so much," he corrected.

"What bothers you?"

He was quiet for a long time, as he always was when he confided something in me which he did not want his brothers to know. "It's... Anna."

"What about her?" I questioned, interested.

"I just... I think..." He sighed without finishing. "It's nothing."

I could not help but smile at his obvious frustration in dealing for the first time with emotions more powerful than himself. "Why are you so greatly troubled, Leonardo?" I questioned.

"Because!" he cried, standing up. "It's not..." He began pacing, his head down. "_Sensei_, we're not even the same...!"

His voice cut out as our eyes met. "Perhaps you and Anna are more alike than you think," I suggested. I knew exactly what the problem was, although he could not put it into words.

He dropped to his knees at my feet. "I can't control this _Sensei_, and it scares me."

I nodded slowly. Now he realized the true heart of the matter. "You do not like to relinquish control over your life," I agreed.

"I can control what I _do_, but I can't stop feeling this way! I'm even _dreaming _about her!"

"Why does it trouble you so much, Leonardo?" I asked. "Why do you fight against that which is perfectly natural for you to feel?"

"Because it's a distraction and..."

He bowed his head, stopping before he finished his thought. "And what?" I prodded.

He sighed deeply. "And a frustration. And that's all it'll ever be."

"Why do you say that?"

He raised his eyes slowly. "My whole life I've never allowed myself to look at things that I can't have. Because of who I am and what I am. But now I can't help it. Because every time I close my eyes, she's there."

I studied him for a moment, reading the pain in his eyes. "Perhaps the question of whether or not she is unattainable should be hers to answer, Leonardo. Not yours."

His eyes fell again. "I don't know what to do."

"If, in fact, you need do anything at all," I corrected.

He remained still and silent. I sighed. "My advice is that you talk to her, Leonardo," I whispered. "But it is your decision. It is your life. And Leonardo..." He looked up reluctantly and I smiled at him. "Know that whatever happens, you will always have my support."

He sighed and for a moment, it was silent. Then he stood and swept his weapons off the floor. "I'm going out," he informed.

"Where are you going?" I asked, slightly concerned.

He strapped his weapons to his body. "I need to think," he answered. "And I just need... a change of scenery."

I considered that for a moment, and watched as he tightened his headband. "Be careful," I pleaded.

"I will, Master."


	35. Children

****

CHILDREN

February, 1979

****

SPLINTER:

I was nearly asleep when I felt the tiny hand on my knee. He patted a few times, trying to get my attention. "_Yo-ma-su_?" he tried, still patting my leg. "_Sei-sei, yo-ma-su? Yo-ma-su?_"

I opened one eye and looked at him. He smiled and held up a book. "_Yo-ma-su, Sei-sei?_"

"_Yomimasu_," I corrected.

He waved the book at me, undeterred. "_Yo-ma-su?_"

I took the book from his hand and pulled him easily into my lap. It was not long before two of his brothers joined us. Only Raphael was missing, and he did not come when I called for him. I set the children aside, assuring them that I would be back in a moment, and walked to his room.

He was not there, and he was not in the kitchen. Sighing, I walked down the hallway and into the large room that I had cleared. Sure enough, he was near the far wall where he did not belong. Anger stirred inside of me, but I paused and watched him for a moment. I had told him time and time again that the _dojo _was not a place to play. Time and time again, I found him here, looking over the weapons he dared not touch. At least he had some sense, since no amount of punishment seemed to curb his instinct to misbehave.

"Raphael!"

He spun so fast he nearly fell over backward. His wide eyes quickly fell. "Sorry."

It was not an apology, as it might have sounded. It was said in far too much haste to have been considered fully. "What have I told you about being in here?" I demanded.

"Sorry," he repeated again.

I sighed. Ordinarily, I would have tried to point out that he could not be sorry until he was repentant. And he could not be repentant so long as he kept doing it. But I did not have the patience, at present, to argue with the two-year-old. "Go," I ordered. "Go to your room and do not come out until I say."

He ran from the room, brushing against the weapons rack as he left. A set of _nunchakus _teetered and fell to the mat. I watched Raphael retreat to his room before I walked to the fallen weapons and picked them up off the floor. They seemed to burn in my hands as I stared at them. I had several sets, but these were my favorite. They had not been used in many months.

It was no fault but my own, and perhaps even then, it was not a fault. It was a decision I had made, allowing that life and the person I was, to die. But it was no easier to let go of all that I had been than it was to relinquish the weapons now in my hands.

****

MICHAELANGELO:

Sensei was gone for a long time. Donny waited with the book, but I got bored. Leo went back to the puzzle he had taken apart on the living room floor, but I didn't like puzzles. Especially not hard ones. I thought about asking Raph to play with me, but he was in trouble and I didn't want to get in trouble too.

After a long time of wondering what to do, I finally walked down the hallway. We weren't allowed down here without Sensei, and even then he hardly ever took us. But he was down here now, so I figured it would be okay.

I stopped in the doorway to the big room and watched him. He was swinging a stick around. No, it was two sticks, and they were tied together. I stopped before I said anything, and just watched him. He was fast. It almost looked like he was dancing. I'd never seen him move like that. 

Suddenly, he stopped. He turned and looked straight at me. I jumped, surprised. Was he mad that I'd come into the room without being invited? I hung my head and waited for him to give me a clue. He didn't say anything. I stole a glance up and saw him place the sticks on the weapons rack, then he turned and walked over to me. He held out his hand and I took it. He wasn't smiling, but he didn't look mad.

"Come on," he sighed. "Let us read the book."


	36. Stars

****

STARS 

December 8, 1995

ANNA:

I counted the tiles in the ceiling and studied the way that the thin metal support beams criss-crossed over each other. There seemed to be no pattern to it, though I knew there had to be. They could not have just haphazardly thrown the ceiling together. I sighed and looked up at the light, then at the blank TV. The purple clock on the wall caught my eye. Midnight. The thermostat was about six inches underneath it. It was hot in here, but I didn't have the will to get up and change the temperature.

I looked out the window at the flickering lights of the city. Then I closed my eyes and turned my head to the side. Why wasn't I asleep? I should be sleeping. It was the middle of the night. 

Leonardo's face flickered across my mind, and I sighed. _"He's been different since he met you. More... secretive... And a lot less demanding."_

I sighed. That didn't mean anything. But I couldn't get the words out of my head. They'd kept me awake the past few nights, and it looked like they would win the insomnia battle tonight, as well. I sighed as I stood and walked to the bathroom. I splashed cold water in my face. It wouldn't help me to get to sleep, that was for sure. But it felt good for the time being. I leaned back against the wall as the water dripped steadily off my chin. Leonardo. Why was I thinking about him? He and I were so different... It would never work.

I shook my head, clearing away the thoughts that somehow found their way back into my mind. _Stop it, Anna!_ I yelled at myself. _You're setting youself up for heartbreak._

My own subconscience shocked me with its terminology. Heartbreak? I'd never felt heartbreak. I'd never been in love. _And you're _not _in love now!_

Well, what if I am_?_

You can't be! You're not allowed! 

Says who?

Says the part of you that's interested in self-preservation.

I sighed deeply. "To hell with self-preservation."

_So you admit it then? You say it? You're in love with someone who's not even human? Someone who could never love you?_

I stared at my reflection. Could never. Those words rang in my soul. Why the hell not? I'd been listening to that voice my entire life, as it told me I'd never be the things I wanted to be; I'd never do the things I wanted to do. _You've given your life to your children. There's no time for these games._

"Shut up," I ordered, staring at the mirror. I was starting to scare myself. Was I going crazy? My thoughts were so confused. I closed my eyes and forced the racing thoughts to settle down. Could never. Could never love me. I breathed in, silencing the frantic emotions. Why?

I opened my eyes slowly and studied the figure staring back at me. She was young, with long dark hair braided behind her. Her facial features were distinctly Japanese, though she retained no accent and very little of Japanese culture. She parted her robe and let it fall open, revealing a black padded bra and black and gray boxer shorts. She was slim, and probably frailer than she cared to admit. The gentle curves of her body had never impressed her. She'd never developed as fully as she wished she had. She had at one point considered plastic surgery, but she had neither the money nor the pain-endurance required.

Her stomach was flat, though not really toned. Her thighs held what excess weight she had, though it wasn't enough to make her consider herself fat. She didn't exercise much, but she didn't eat much either. Not that she was anorexic, she just didn't have a very big appetite. And she preferred healthy foods to greasy, pre-packaged ones.

Best feature? Not her breasts. She frowned at that. She barely filled her padded B-cup. She turned to the side and raised her arms, staring at her figure from the side. When she was younger, she'd stuffed her bra so that she'd have _something_ to show while other girls her age were fully developed. She'd never caught up, but she'd gotten over it. Didn't really make her self-conscious anymore.

I sighed as I ran my eyes over my reflection. My arms were probably my best feature. It was amazing what arm strength it took to play with children and carry babies. Still, I was in no way a weight lifter. Leo could arm wrestle me in his sleep.

_Dammit, there you go again..._

I leaned forward on the sink and dropped my head. I had to stop this. It was all I needed, on top of everything else, to have a crush and a heartbreak and a whole new set of emotions to deal with. It could never lead to anything. We were too different.

_Does that bother you?_

I considered that for a moment. In a way, it did. Looks had never really mattered to me, but he wasn't even human. Even so, it didn't stop my attraction toward him. His looks weren't the reason it wouldn't work. He didn't love me, and he _wouldn't _love me, and that was all there was to it. I didn't want to throw away a friendship for something that I could never have no matter what I did. Not to mention the circumstances. There was so much going on right now...

I felt tears sting my eyes and sat down on the toilet seat. "I can't do this right now," I told myself, hiding my face in my hands. "The girls need my attention. I can't..."

I heard my voice fade out as I lost track of my words. I cried, spilling tears into my hands. This was too much. 

"Anna?"

I jumped and spun to the closed door and the male voice. "What?" I cried, brushing away my tears. "Who's there?"

"Leonardo." A confused mix of dread and joy raced through me. "Are you okay?"

I grabbed my robe off the floor and slipped my arms in it, tying it quickly. "Yeah, I'm..." I stammered. I pulled the door open, then hesitated. What was I doing? What was I hoping for?

He studied me for a moment, a concerned look on his face. Then he raised one hand and brushed my cheek with his thumb. The touch sent a jolt of confused excitement through me. "You're crying," he whispered.

I bowed my head. "It's... a long story."

"As in, you don't want to explain it?" I raised my eyes and saw him smile. "That's okay. As long as you're alright."

I nodded. "I'm fine."

His hand fell. "Okay. I believe you."

That was the end of that conversation. He sighed and turned away. I followed him into the living room. "Um," I started. "What are you doing here?"

"I, uh..." he stammered, walking to the window and stared out. "There's something I need to tell you."

The serious tone of his voice sent a wave of uneasiness over me. Something was wrong. "What is it?" I asked.

"I..." He turned to look at me, as if he were feeding off a sudden burst of courage. The look on his face fell and he backed down before he got the sentence out. 

I smiled. "You what?" I asked.

Blush creeped into his cheeks, though I wasn't sure why. I giggled quietly. It was like he didn't know what to say. Funny, I'd never imagined he could _not _know what to say. He was always so focused and in control of his thoughts. 

"Know what?" I grinned at him.

"What?" he choked.

"You're cute when you're embarrassed."

He blushed furiously and I laughed as he turned away. I rested a hand on his cheek and turned his face back to me. His skin was hot against my palm. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm just making it worse, aren't I?"

He said nothing. I draped my arms over his shoulders and hugged him for a minute. "What's wrong, Leo?" I asked seriously. "Why are you here?"

He hugged me back for a moment, then pulled away. "Nothing's wrong," he mumbled. "I just wanted to tell you..."

I studied him, waiting for him to finish. But he lost his nerve again. I suppressed a laugh. It was as if he were trying to propose to me or something. I'd never seen him nervous like this.

"Can I show you something?" he asked. The tension was gone, and I knew he was changing the subject. I was somewhat disappointed. I was curious as to what could make him tense up like that.

"Sure," I answered.

"Will you come up to the roof with me? You can get up there, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I can."

"Will you?"

I smiled and nodded again. He turned away. "I'll meet you up there."

***

The rooftop was dark and silent. I figured I had somehow gotten up here before him, until I felt his hands on my shoulders, through my jacket. I shrieked and nearly jumped out of my skin as I spun around. He pulled back. "Sorry," he whispered, smiling as he bowed his head.

"Don't _do _that!" I cried, clutching my chest.

He looked up hesitantly, smiled, and brushed the side of my face. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"How could that _not _scare me?" I asked.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

I smiled and met his eyes, inches from my own. Something stirred inside of me and I tried to quiet it. I could _not_ feel this way about him. "I forgive you. Just don't do it again!"

He pulled away and took my hands. "Do you trust me?" he asked, changing the subject.

I stared at him for a moment. The icy cold air whipped my hair into my face, stinging my cheeks like a whip. "Yes..." I answered hesitantly. "Why?"

"Close your eyes," he instructed. "Don't open them until I say."

I watched him, a little unsure, but finally closed my eyes. He walked backwards, pulling me with him. He stopped, but said nothing. I suddenly felt him pulling me down gently, like he was on his knees. I dropped to my knees hesitantly, not wanting to drop into the inch and a half of snow on the rooftop. But there wasn't snow beneath me. It had been cleared and I was kneeling on something soft. Leonardo he let go of my hands. 

"Can I open my eyes yet?" I asked.

"Nope, not yet."

He circled my shoulders with one arm, and placed his other hand at the top of my chest, almost at my neck. I didn't resist him as he pushed me gently onto my back, my head resting on his arm. "Okay," he breathed. "Open your eyes."

I opened them and I saw... stars. Thousands of them. More than I had ever thought could exist. For a moment, I was breathless.

"Don't tell my brothers I told you this," he whispered in my ear. "But when I was younger, I used to sneak out of the sewers and come up to the rooftops just to look at the stars."

"They're beautiful," I choked.

"You can't even see them from the street," he mumbled. "With all the bright lights. You gotta get above all that."

"I've lived in the city my whole life," I sighed. "_A _city, anyways. I never realized..." My voice trailed off as I stared at the portrait in front of me.

"Yeah."

I stared at the sky, then turned toward him. "I don't think the movies do it justice."

He smiled. "No, they don't."

He was laying on his side, his head beside mine. We stared at each other for a moment, then he turned back to the stars. I smiled looked back up at the cold, clear sky. "That one's moving!" I exclaimed, pointing. "How is that possible?"

"It's a satellite," he explained.

"How do you know?"

"Because it's _moving_," he laughed, pointing out the obvious. 

I smiled. "Can you tell the difference between the stars and the planets?"

"Mmm hmm," he murmured. "Some of them."

He took my hand and held it up to the sky. "That's Venus," he pointed. "The bright one, right there. You see it?"

"Yeah."

"And that's Mars," he pointed toward another group of stars.

"Where?"

"It's kind of a different color. You see?"

I studied the stars for a moment, and smiled. "Yeah, I see it."

He brought our hands back down and left them resting on my stomach, still intertwined. "You know what's really amazing to think about?"

"Hmm?"

"That in reality, the sky doesn't actually look anything like that." I turned to him, confused. He was smiling up at the sky. "Half of those stars have exploded, a whole new set have formed... It takes billions of years for that light to get to us. What might have happened thirty million years ago that no one will see until long after children's children are dead and gone?"

I considered that, in the long silence that followed. Leonardo turned to me and unlocked his fingers from mine. He raised his hand and brushed my hair back. "Anna, I gotta tell you..." he started. He paused for just a second and breathed deep. "I love you."

My eyes widened in shock. Did I just hear him right? Did he just say what I think he did? He watched me for a moment, then looked away. His eyes closed and a strange look crossed his face. It almost seemed to me that it was a look of shame. Surprised even more by his expression than his words, I rested a hand on his cheek, pulling his eyes to mine. He looked at me reluctantly. 

"I wasn't expecting..." I stammered.

"Neither was I," he admitted. "But I can't stop think about you and... you have a right to know."

I watched his pained expression, waiting for something more. He offered nothing. A million thoughts flooded me at once. Love. I couldn't love him, but I did. And suddenly it was infinately harder to convince myself that I didn't. Emotions stirred inside of me and I debated on whether or not to even try to control them. Then, acting on instinct, I rose and closed the gap between us, bringing our lips together. 

He froze for a moment and I felt his body go rigid beside me. Slowly, he relaxed. His lips parted and he welcomed me, slipping his hand into my jacket and around my waist. Our tongues met and our souls came together, hesitantly acquainting with each other. He held me tightly and I nearly went limp in his arms. 

I could feel excitement growing somewhere deep inside of me, and tried to give myself a few seconds to evaluate it. This was happening very fast, and I felt powerless to stop it. It took me a moment to realize that I didn't really want to try.

Finally, he pulled away and sat up straight, crossing his legs in front of him. I pulled my knees to my chin. "I'd be lying if I said this isn't surprising the hell out of me," I admitted.

I glanced at him and saw him smiling slyly. "But you've thought about it."

I put my hands behind me and leaned back on them. "About what?"

"About us."

"How would _you _know?" I challenged, smiling.

"Well, am I wrong?" he retorted.

I considered that for a moment, and he looked away. "Can I guess?" he asked.

"Guess what?"

"When you started thinking about it?"

I eyed him suspiciously. "Okay, hotshot, go ahead."

He thought about it for a minute. "When I showed up here, at your apartment? You never thought you'd see me again after you left the hospital, did you?"

I laughed. That _had _surprised me. I didn't think he cared enough to make the effort. Visiting us at the hospital was one thing. But _he_ was the one who'd told _Mike _the safest way to get into the building, and that had shocked me. I'd figued if I ever saw any of them again, it would be Mike coming for the girls.

"Way before that," I informed him, smiling.

He shot me a questioning look. "Really?"  
"Yep."

He was quiet as he looked away. "Well, it couldn't have been too far before that because you were out of the hospital two weeks after the bombing."

I smiled, but said nothing. "When I walked you home that one night?" he tried again.

I laughed to myself. "How about, when I realized that you really listened to me," I suggested. "And that you cared enough to go out of your way to be nice to me."

"And when was that?" he grinned.

"The rose," I whispered.

"Wow," he chuckled. "That long, huh?"

I nodded. "I didn't think you were listening to me when I told you that."

"Why, because I didn't answer?"

"You didn't seem interested."

"Just because I don't _look _interested doesn't mean I'm not."

It was quiet for a minute. I glanced at him. "Hey Leo?"

"Yeah?"

"Why haven't I seen you in so long?" He didn't answer, so I continued. "I mean, you used to come over every night and then all of a sudden you're gone for four days?"

"There's a crime wave going through this city," he explained.

"Yeah, but it's not like it's your personal responsibility to make sure it stays under control. I mean, you need not kill yourself over it, working all the time."

He shrugged. "I don't look at it like that. Not like it's a responsibility. It's just that I'm one of the few who can do something about it, so why wouldn't I make an effort to try?"

"So it's not about that?" I questioned.

"What's not?"

"Why you haven't been around lately?"

He stared at me. "It's a lot of things, Anna," he informed. "I'm here now, let's just leave it at that."

I sighed. Even now, there was still so much he wouldn't tell me.


	37. Rescue

****

RESCUE

December 21, 1995

LEONARDO:

I watched from the dark alley as fire trucks crowded the narrow street, desperately trying to quench the flames before they leaped to the next building. "You think there's still people in there?" I asked as we scanned the scene.

"If there is, I don't think there's a whole lot we can do about it," Donatello answered.

There was a moment of silence as we observed the scene. "Third fire this week," he observed quietly. 

"No," I corrected. "That first one was a bombing. At a soup kitchen."

He sighed. "Help organizations."

"Mmm," I acknowledged. "I know. It's like he's calling us out."

He sighed deeply. "I really wish you wouldn't say things like that."

A scream jolted me out of my thoughts. It was close by, from a woman near the alley. A man was holding her arms but she was flailing wildly, trying to get toward the burning building. 

"Somebody get him out!" the woman screamed. "He's still on the top...!"

The man clapped his hand over her mouth and leaned down to whisper something in her ear. She struggled wildly, but couldn't break free. I looked at the man who was trying to pull her back. His clean shaven face and dark hair looked strangely familiar, but I couldn't identify him. He wasn't talking to her anymore, only watching the flames as they destroyed the building. Someone was still in there. And from the looks of it, the firefighters didn't even know. They had a ladder, but they weren't making any attempt at a rescue. 

"Anything about that seem strange to you?" I thought out loud.

Donny didn't look at me. It wasn't really a question. "Think we should get involved?"

"No. Not out in the open."

Another man appeared nearby and the two gestured to each other. The woman kicked and screamed as she was dragged away. I watched them for a moment, and felt Donny leave my side. When I turned, he was gone. He went after them. Good. He could take care of it.

I looked back up at the building. The flames hadn't reached the top few floors. A heat wave combined with the smoke to block any clear view I had. Still, I was pretty sure. And there was someone up there. I wasn't sure if there was anything I could do, but it was worth a shot. 

The crowd's attention was locked on the building. I managed to get around them without being noticed. I slipped into the alley, two buildings down, and jumped up to catch the fire escape. I darted up the steps and climbed to the roof. I scanned the surface instinctively as a feeling of uneasiness washed over me. Someone had been here recently. I stopped and squinted through the wall of smoke. There was movement on top of the building across the street. They were leaving, from the looks of it. But I couldn't tell for sure through the smoke.

I vaulted across the narrow alleyway and sprinted across the roof toward the burning complex. This alley was wider. Running full speed, I dropped my hands to the ledge and pushed off as hard as I could. My built up momentum allowed me to clear the gap and to land on my feet. 

I immediately felt like I was in a furnace. I tried to filter out the roaring flames and heard a voice yelling. Walking over to the side of the building, I saw a young boy leaning out the window and yelling at the top of his lungs. "Hey!" I called, trying to get his attention. He looked up, his red, burned face not more than eight years old.

"Help me, please," he begged, reaching up toward me. 

I looked around. Even though he was on the top story, there was no way I was going to be able to reach him without a rope or something. But there was nothing on the roof. "Get a sheet from one of the beds," I called down to him.

He disappeared into the room and returned, holding a pink bed sheet. He immediately tried to throw it up to me but, needless to say, it was weightless and floated back down to him before I could reach it. "Get something heavy that you can tie to the end of it. Like a five pound weight."

He vanished again and I sat down on the ledge with my back to the street. Slowly and carefully, I fell back, hanging from my legs and reaching down toward the window. When he came back, he tossed the weighted sheet up to me and I just barely caught it. "Now wait!" I ordered. 

I tossed the sheet and the coffee mug attached to it up to the roof top, then reached up and grabbed the ledge, pulling myself back up. I waved to the boy to hold on to the sheet as I slid to the rooftop. "Okay, grab on!" I called to him. "Use your feet on the wall!"

I held the sheet with one hand and helped him up easily. "Is there anyone else inside?" I yelled over the roaring flames.

He didn't have a chance to answer. The building trembled beneath my feet and the boy fell. It didn't matter if there _was _anyone else in there; we had to get off this building now. I grabbed the boy's shoulder and ran to the ledge. Below us, the fire escape was engulfed in flames. I had to get him over to the next alley before we could go down. I handed him the weighted sheet. 

"Don't move," I commanded.I backed up and flipped to the next building. Then I turned and leaned out over the trench separating us. "Toss me the sheet!"

He threw it toward me and I reached to grab it, but missed. The cup swung back and shattered against the brick wall. At this point, I was truly amazed that the boy was not crying hysterically. I looked around the roof I was standing on but saw nothing that could be of any use to me now. Six feet of nothing but air separated us. I wasn't sure I could jump that with him on my back, and I didn't really want to take the risk.

I jumped back on to the burning building and took one end of the sheet from the silent boy. "I want you to hold onto this," I ordered, "and wrap it around your hand. I'm going to go across and hold on to it. If you jump from the ledge, right after I do, you'll land on the building I'll be on. Okay?"

He nodded quickly and the building shook again. I wrapped the other end of the sheet around my wrist. If he didn't jump, his weight would pull me back and we wouldn't make it to the other side. Damn it, I hated taking risks like this.

I stood him up on the ledge and took a few steps back. I wouldn't make it to the other ledge without a running start. But I could probably make it to the fire escape. At least I hoped I could. I forced the thought of failure out of my mind. It wasn't an option.

I broke into an immediate run for three steps, jumped up on the ledge, and pushed off with all of the strength I had in my legs. I felt my arm jerked back. Damn it! I didn't have time to think. I reached out and grabbed the railing of the fire escape, just barely catching it. The boy screamed as he fell past me; thank God he didn't let go of the sheet.

I held our weight over the scorching heat with one arm, and held the sheet with the other. My hand was slipping, and I knew I couldn't do this for much longer. The heat was unbearable, and the metal was hot. This was not a solution in any way, shape, or form. If I couldn't get him to hold on by himself so that I could pull my weight onto the platform, I had to let him go. _God_, I hated ultimatums like that. But I knew I had to accept it before I even made the attempt.

I pulled him up as quickly as I could, trying not to shift my weight at all. Each movement, each breath of smoke, each time I blinked made my grip slide even more. I raised him beside me and he grabbed the metal. He was on his own now. I brought my other hand to the railing and pulled myself up. I could barely breathe, and I couldn't see five feet in front of me. My eyes burned fiercely. 

I reached down blindly and grabbed his arm, then pulled him up. We climbed to the roof and half-walked, half-crawled a few steps before he collapsed to his knees, gagging on the thick air. I forced the burning pain in my throat aside and knelt next to him, slipping my arms underneath him.

"Come on, kid, you're almost out," I coaxed him as I picked him up. "Don't let go now."

His head lolled to one side and I walked to the fire escape. I climbed down as quickly as I was able and took him to the mouth of the alleyway. A loud whistle attracted the attention of a nearby woman and I shrank back into the darkness as she and another spectator approached.

"Oh my god! Look over here!"

I watched from the fire escape. My mind was racing, my vision blurred by the tears the smoke from the building had formed, and my breathing hard and labored. Every few steps, I choked on the air. It seemed like forever before I reached the rooftop.

My communicator beeped as I climbed over the ledge and I reached for it blindly. "Yeah?" I coughed, trying to clear the smoke from my lungs. My brothers always picked the _best _times to call.

"Could use a little...!" Donatello's words were cut off by a cry and the sound of a blow. "..._help _here, Leo!"

I coughed and wiped the tears from my eyes. "Where are you?"

"Go east. You won't... _miss _it!"

He cut out and I doubled over, coughing deeply. Standing up again, I looked around. East. That was away from the burning building and the crowd. I watched the street as I headed east. 

****

DONATELLO:

I looked over my opponents as I backed into the middle of the street. Some of them held guns, some of them held chains, and a few of them just clenched their fists at their sides. I paid close attention to those who looked like they were unarmed and saw that their weapon was their gloves. They had sharp knives, razor sharp claws, from the looks of it, sticking out of them at their knuckles. The claws ran past their fingertips. Ouch. I'd have to watch out for that.

They appeared to form ranks. The ones with the chains formed the first line, then the gloves, then the guns. Behind them all, Nightshade watched contentedly. I was surprised to see that they were leaving the car alone. Suddenly, the chains attacked. I was glad that they weren't smart enough to pace themselves so that they all got to me at the same time. The first one who approached, 

I raised my _bo _and the chain swinging toward my head got wrapped around it. Another one was coming toward me from the other side and I spun my weapon to catch it with the other side. I swept the weapon around, catching one of my opponents in the head and the other at the knees. They both fell and the chains slid off of the edges of the _bo_.

A dark figure with a set of _nunchakus_ lashed out at me. I jabbed the tip of my weapon into the soft flesh of his stomach before he had a chance to make contact. Two more approached from the other side. I spun to face them and felt an approach behind me. I didn't have a chance to react. My weapon, held up at the level of my shoulders in preparation of an attack, was jerked back against my neck. I gagged for a second, slightly surprised. He was holding the weapon right on the outside of my hands, where he had a good grip. Letting go would be suicide, since he could easily choke off my air supply. Staying put wasn't much of an option either, since the two in front of me were just about ready to attack. 

I jumped in the air, throwing my weight back against my opponent, then forward. The foot soldier flipped over me and into the two who were advancing. They stumbled over each other, giving me a second to catch my breath. Damn. Only five of them were actually down. The other two dozen were willing and able to attack. But that wasn't what concerned me. I was more worried about the fact that I'd lost sight of the woman they had taken away from the crowd.

Behind me, empty-handed opponents raced toward me. I dropped down and swept my leg across the ground, knocking them both off their feet. Then I immediately somersaulted away as another attack came. As one of them stood up, I pushed her and she fell backwards into another two who were fast approaching. That knocked them off balance enough to allow me to sweep them off their feet.

I stepped back. My breath was starting to come harder. I scanned the area and saw that only four of them were still on the pavement. The others were on their feet, or getting up. I grabbed an attacking hand and spun the man around easily, twisting his arm behind him. I felt a danger behind me, but didn't have a chance to turn around. I didn't need to. I felt the rush of air as he was taken out from the side. Leo. Thank God.

I didn't need to look to know it was him. I concentrated my attention on another swinging chain. I kicked forward and he stumbled back, then somersaulted away from a slashing blade. It hissed through the air next to me. As I stood back to my feet, I took one of the fallen chains with me. I used it to wrap around the wrists of the foot soldier with the _katana_. He dropped the weapon as he fell to the ground. But I didn't retract the chain in time and I didn't have time to pull it back before the next two were on me.

I darted away from their claws as they slashed through the air. Fortunately, these two didn't look like they knew what they were doing. Or who they were dealing with. They appeared to be enjoying themselves, shadow boxing with their toys attached to their hands. I hooked my _bo _around their legs and pulled them to the ground. 

I was on my feet again just in time to turn my face away from another set of claws. I felt them scrape across my chest, but it didn't really hurt. As I turned my attention to the attackers, I caught sight of Leo. He was close by. I made an effort to move to him. 

The confusion turned to chaos as I heard gunshot. My eyes darted around instinctively, looking for where the bullets were coming from. The shooters were on the roof. The next sound was sirens. Someone must've called the police. It was about damn time.

I flipped backward to dodge more slashing fists. Bullets ricocheted off the pavement and I tried to stay moving at all times to avoid them. The sirens turned to flashing red and blue lights and the crowd full of _ninjas _scattered. Leo expected me to follow him into the sewers, but I had another agenda. 

He caught up with me as I reached for the door with the busted padlock. "What're you doing?" he choked. His voice was raspy, and I couldn't help but glance at him. He looked like hell.

"They still got the woman," I told him. He let go and I threw the door open. 

This was a parking garage. The only way to go was up. The staircase leading up was dark, but I could still see the thin trail of blood on the ground. I hit Leo's arm and pointed to it. He nodded once and raised his weapons as he pressed to the wall, going up the side of the staircase. I followed, my eyes looking upward. 

The blood led through a door, and we opened it slowly and carefully. Back outside in the cool night air, I expected to be surrounded by cars. But it was the middle of the night, and apparently there wasn't much around here that was open at one in the morning. I scanned the area for danger. A few cement pillars held the structure up, stationed all over in no particular order, and a single car rested in the far corner. 

Suddenly, the lights flashed on. Leo and I spun around. A single man came out from behind one of the pillars and I prepared myself to fight. 

It wasn't Shredder, but he wasn't dressed like a foot soldier, either. In fact, he was in street clothes. I eyed him carefully, distrusting of his apparent solitude. He kept his distance, walking slowly with his hands behind his back. "You can relax, freaks," the man smiled. "You won't attack me."

"What makes you so sure?" I returned.

He pulled his arms in front of him and I nearly sprinted out of reflex. He laughed as I saw that he wasn't holding a gun like I had expected him to be. "A little jumpy, are we?" he asked.

I noticed a device in his hands that looked similar to the control pad for a remote controlled car. "Where is she?" Leo demanded, studying his face carefully. "And who the hell are you?"

He was the same man that had held the woman at the building. I recognized him easily. He bowed politely. "My name is Kentaro," he greeted. "And you are in search of the woman, no?"

I didn't move. There was something all too familiar about his eyes. Something I didn't like in the least. "Well, let's play a little game, shall we?" he asked, mocking us. "How about hide and go seek? The woman is hiding. If you find her, she might live. Otherwise..." He pushed a button on the controller. "You've got ten minutes before this complex goes up in fire and smoke."

He bowed and backed toward the door. I lunged toward him and he turned and fled. I threw my _bo _and it got tangled in his legs. "What is that thing?" I demanded as he crashed to the cement floor.

He pushed himself up and I ducked out of the way of a handful of _shurieken_. "You don't have much time," he warned. "Are you more interested in saving her or killing me?"

I felt Leo back off. He didn't say a word. He didn't have to. I knew he was serious about the bomb, and about the amount of time we had. It would take both of us to sweep this building in ten minutes, and I knew he wasn't the brains behind this offensive anyhow. He wouldn't be of any real use to us. Shredder wasn't here, and he was the one we needed.

****

LEONARDO:

I watched him go and didn't try to stop him. Instead, I turned and scanned the room. Ten minutes wasn't that long. We'd have to split up. But something didn't feel right. I froze and concentrated on my surroundings. The silence in the room was deafening. Suddenly, my ears tuned in to a quiet, muffled cry. 

"Leo, I'll..."

"Wait!" I silenced him.

He paused and listened to the silence. "You hear that?" I whispered.

"Mmm hmm."

"The car," I pointed.

"Go on," Don urged. "I'm gonna see if I can catch that jerkoff."

We split up and I ran as fast to the car. I saw the woman, a Japanese girl no older than twenty, bound and gagged in the back seat. "Turn your head!" I yelled. 

I smashed the window out and opened the door. She continued to try to speak to me through the duct tape over her mouth. I pulled my _katana _from its sheath and sliced through the roped that bound her feet. Then I pulled her up and tried to lead her away from the car. She dug her heels into the ground.

I turned to face her. What was she doing? Did she know something I didn't? "What are you...?"

Suddenly, a tremor shook the structure. I knew what was happening before it happened. I hit the floor, pulling the woman under me, and covered my head with my arms. I felt pain pierce through my body, but didn't have a chance to figure out where it was coming from before I slipped out of consciousness.


	38. Worn

****

WORN

December 21, 1995

LEONARDO:

"Leo!" a voice called through the darkness. It sounded as if it were echoing through a long tunnel. "Leo, wake up!"

I felt hard cement under me and moaned in pain as I tried to move my fingers. Icy water was raining on me, though I wasn't sure where it was from. It was the middle of winter, so it wasn't coming from the sky. Broken pipeline, maybe. Or a fire hydrant. Whatever it was, it was freezing.

"Where am I?" I asked as I forced my eyes open. I still saw nothing but blackness. As I tried to focus, I saw Donny looking down on me.

"You're okay," he assured. "Just relax."

I groaned as I tried to sit up. "Where's the girl?"

He shook his head and I groaned. "Oh God," I groaned. All that, and she didn't even live through it. I pushed the thought aside. "What time is it?"

"I don't know. But you've been out for a while. The press is gonna be here pretty soon."

He offered me a hand and he pulled me to my feet. I almost fell into him. "You hurt bad?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I don't think so."

I looked around, my head pounding. The room was filled with large slabs of concrete that had fallen from the ceiling. It was probably a miracle that I'd survived. "Can you walk?"

Feeling slowly returned to my legs and I nodded. "Yeah. I think so."

****

ANNA: 

I sighed as I looked down at the metal box in my lap. The key had been lost in the explosion, but I knew I could still get it open if I tried hard enough. "Well, Kaylie," I whispered to the spirit of a child lost. "Here goes."

I jammed the screwdriver into the slit of the metal box and pried the top back. It was three days early, but I'd grown more impatient now than I had ever been for anything in my entire life. This box was all I had left of my mother, and I wanted to know what was in it. 

I froze as the lock broke. 

"_Maybe we shouldn't. Didn't your momma say we should wait until we were older?"_

It was a very fragile memory, not very clear. But that was how most all of my memories were. I recalled very little from before my arrival at the orphanage. 

__

"Oh, come on! It's not gonna hurt anything to look real quick."

I'd opened this box before. I remembered now. I'd opened it but... I didn't remember what was inside. I concentrated for a moment, then gave up. I lifted the lid. For a moment, I stared at the contents, hoping for more of the memory to return. There was nothing more. My mind was a blank. 

I sighed and looked over the items one at a time. There was a gold necklace, and a passport with a my mother's name on it. There were also several faded photographs of a man I did not know, and a book. It was there that my attention came to rest. 

The cover of the book was cardboard, and had come apart from being opened so many times. It was a plain brown color, with no writing on the outside of it. I turned it over in my hands before slitting the flexible plastic band that held it closed. It was meant to be opened with a key, but I didn't have that. I opened it slowly, and my heart sank. The writing was in Japanese.

I felt disappointed tears sting my eyes as I flipped through the pages. Suddenly, the writing changed to carefully written English. I stopped for a moment and scanned the words without really reading them. Some of the letters were malformed, and the sentence structure was staggered. But it was legible. 

__

I learning much in new world. I speak English now! Adam say I no speak very well. He angry when I use bad words. But he more angry when I no use words he...

I didn't realize that I had company until he was fully inside of my living room. My heart jumped into my throat as I spun and saw him standing at the window, dripping a steady stream of water onto the carpet. "Leo!" I cried. A flash of lightning illuminated him and I gasped, realizing that a good portion of that water was actually blood. I sprang to my feet, leaving the contents of the box on the floor. "Oh my god, what _happened _to you?"

The tired look on his face told me more than I could have asked. "I'm..." he slurred.

God, he must be freezing. How did he get all wet? My heart melted in worried sympathy and I walked to the hall closet. I returned with a soft bath towel. "Are you okay?" I asked, returning to him.

He sighed deeply as I draped the towel over his shoulders. He was shivering from the cold. He looked up hesitantly and our eyes met. I brushed my fingers over the side of his face. "Oh, Leo, you look like you've been to hell and back."

When I pulled my hand back, my fingers were tipped with red. Concern flooded through me. "You're bleeding all over the place."

He closed his eyes and said nothing. I couldn't imagine where he'd been in the past few hours, or what kind of torture his body must have endured. I pressed into him and kissed him full on the lips. His body was cold and wet, but I didn't care. His arms circled my waist and wrapped me in the towel with him as my tongue met his. I could feel my body reacting to his gentle caress against the inside of my mouth. I didn't want to let him go, but he released me and I pulled away slightly.

I looked down at my white blouse, suddenly realizing what I'd done. So much for this shirt. Nothing was going to get that stain out. Leonardo looked down too, and flushed as he quickly looked away. It was wet now, and fairly see-through. "Uh, sorry," he stammered, pulling away from me. "I didn't mean to…"

I answered with a tired smile. "It's okay," I whispered. "But you need to get in the bathroom where there's tile on the floor. I'll never get blood out of the carpet."

I took his hand and led him to the bathroom. He had a long cut on the back of his hand, and I grabbed the bottle of peroxide out of the medicine cabinet. "How'd you do this?" I whispered as I washed the blood away.

"I can take care of that, Anna," he assured me. "I don't need you to do it."

"Shut up and sit down there," I ordered.

He smiled faintly as he obeyed. I knelt in front of him and pressed a damp washcloth to the wound on his hand. "I hit the glass out of a car window," he explained.

I stared at him. "You're kidding. That glass is almost impossible to break out."

He smiled. "Adrenaline."

I cleaned his wounds, but he didn't want them bandaged. I argued with him briefly, then left the bathroom. A moment later, he followed me into the living room. "Why don't you take a shower?" I asked. "Since you don't seem to have any interest in taking care of your injuries." 

He leaned down in front of me, his hands on the armrests of the chair I was in, and kissed my forehead. "Thank you, Anna."

I looked up at him. "Go take a shower," I ordered. "You're a mess."

****

LEONARDO:

I meant for the shower to be quick, but the hot water felt really good against my skin. Part of me really wanted to be alone right now. I guess that's why I didn't want to go home with Don. But I knew it wouldn't solve anything to hide from this. It would just keep getting worse, like it had for the past month. It would just keep getting more intense. Everything inside of me was screaming, but there was no way out.

These past few weeks had been too much for my body to handle, not to mention my mind and emotions. I knew that, even though I hated it. The never-ending battle against the recent crime wave had taken its toll on me and all of my brothers. But somehow, they could still sleep at night. I couldn't. I obsessed about this city when Shredder put his hand on it. And as much as I hated to admit it, it kept me awake night after night. The tension was enough to break me, and that was frightening.

Every part of me craved release, and sparring sessions just weren't cutting it anymore. Raph went out, Donny vanished into his lab to do God-knows-what, Mikey had taken up writing to vent his emotions. But for the first time in my life, no amount of meditation was able to calm me. I found myself feeling helpless against the war raging inside of me.

I dried off and checked over my injuries. There was nothing serious. Mostly bruises, and a few cuts. I sighed as I walked out of the bathroom and back into the living room, carrying my weapons in my hand. 

"Feel better?" Anna asked. She had changed from the ruined shirt and put on her robe.

I sighed. "Not really."

A look of concern crossed her features. "What's wrong?"

I strapped my belt around my waist and adjusted it. Then I sat down next to her on the sofa. "We didn't even get her out," I whispered, hiding my face in my hands. "She still died, you know that?"

She was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry, Leo."

I felt anger rise up inside of me. Not at her; she wasn't responsible for all this. I looked away. "It just doesn't stop, Anna," I growled. "_He_ never stops, never slows down. And it just keeps getting worse. I _know _he's behind all this, but I don't know _why_. They're all connected somehow! And I feel…"

I paused, hesitant about speaking without first thinking my words through. I didn't usually let emotion spout like this, and I didn't like the feeling of vulnerability it stirred in me. I swallowed hard. "I feel like it keeps building up inside of me, and there's no way to get rid of it."

****

ANNA:

I rose and straddled his legs, careful not to brush the newly-acquired wounds. I kissed him deeply, and tasted the tension as it radiated from him. "You're unhappy," I whispered against his lips.

"I'm stressed," he breathed back. His voice was pleading. "Anna, believe me, it's not you. It's everything else."

I hugged him, and felt warmth rush through me as my body pressed to his. In this position, the embrace was a little more intimate than anything I'd felt before. I hadn't meant for it to be that way, but I certainly didn't mind it. 

I nuzzled against him and kissed his neck. Then I realized what I'd just done. I froze and waited for a reaction. Did I step over the line? No, I didn't. After a moment of hesitation, he buried his face in my hair and kissed the rim of my ear. I pulled away slightly and we stared at each other. It was easy to see the shock on his face, and I knew it only mirrored my own.

"Would you tell me to stop?" I asked quietly.

"If I wanted you to," he answered. I believed that. I didn't imagine Leonardo was one to allow people to do things to him that he did not welcome.

Curious, I pressed my hand to the side of his face, then kissed him again. His arms circled all the way around me and he held me so tightly I could hardly breathe. After a moment, he loosened his grip. I felt like I could melt. I ran my hands down his sides, watching his expression. His eyes remained steady on mine as my fingers curled underneath his plastron to brush against soft skin. He drew in a long, slow breath. I suddenly felt separated from myself as I realized what was happening.

"Yes?" I whispered, asking permission. 

He was quiet for a moment. "Anna, you don't..."

"I'm ready, Leo," I interrupted.

He studied me. "Ready?" he questioned. His lips brushed mine as he spoke, and I thought I was going to die. The way he made me feel inside was something I had never felt before.

"Ready... for more. For committment."

He pulled away slightly and stared at me. I couldn't read his expression. Was he shocked? Horrified? Was he willing? "I want you to stay," I whispered. "I want you to stay with me tonight."

At length, a look of concern crossed his features. "Anna, you don't know what you're asking."

I sighed deeply. "Of course I do, Leo." I turned away from him. "The house, the kids, the car, the normal life... I've thought about all of it." He didn't move, and I looked back toward him. "And I've decided I want you more."

He swallowed hard. I could read the look in his eyes clearly now. He wasn't sure if he could believe what I was saying. He wanted to, but he was too cautious to allow it. "Anna, there's more to it than that."

I sighed and looked back up at him. "I know, Leo; the list is endless." I placed my palms on his cheeks. "But I don't care. I'm not a child, Leo, and I know what I want. I know it'll be hard. I know that five years from now it might not seem like a fairy tale anymore. I know you're not perfect, but you're everything I've always wanted and to me, that's enough to make me try."

Now he was surprised. He was so hard to read sometimes; but I'd learned to see it in his eyes. "And I know you, Leo," I whispered, caressing the side of his face. "I know you think about consequences and that you wouldn't ever let yourself do something you'd regret. I know you'll want to think this through so if you need time... that's fine. I'll wait. But I just want you to know. I'm ready now."

He stared at me. His fingertips ran over my cheek. For a long time, it was silent. Then, finally, he kissed me lightly. "Yes?" I asked again as I felt his arms circle me again.

He nodded. "Yes."

****

If you wanna read it, go to http://www.angelfire.com/ok5/tmnt/father/joining.html Those of you who'd rather not, just be advised that Leo and Anna had sex and it was a beautiful thing. ;)


	39. Tensions

****

TENSIONS

December 22, 1995

****

CLARISSE:

If I'd made it out the door five minutes earlier, there wouldn't have been a problem. But I didn't. And I ran right into Leonardo. "Where're you going?" he asked.

"Out," I answered.

He studied me. "Out _where_?"

"What am I, Leo, a prisoner?"

Leonardo looked away. "No, Clarisse, it's just... you have to be careful. We don't know if..."

"Hey, Leo, give her a break," Raphael defended, stepping up next to me. "Not like she's gonna go advertise to the world who she is. Besides, where were _you _all night and all morning?"

"We put her face on TV hoping that Shredder would recognize her," Leo reminded him, his voice cold. "You don't think anyone else will? And that's none of your business."

Raphael shrugged. "Nobody recognizes _us_!"

Good point. Leonardo was caught off guard for a moment. "Shredder does," he finally defended.

"Is that what this is about?" I asked. "Shredder?"

"Look, if it is, I'll go with her," Raph offered. "She'll be fine."

"She's not _fine_, Raph," Leonardo snapped. "And as long as she's in New York, she's not _going_ to be fine. She's going to be in danger."

Raphael rolled his eyes. "I'm scared, Leo," he answered sarcastically.

I could feel the anger well up inside of me as they continued to argue over what was going to happen in _my _life. "Look, you don't own me!" I interrupted them. "Either of you. And if I wanna go out, I'm gonna go. And there's nothing you can do about it."

I turned and walked away, daring them to try and stop me. They thought about it. I knew they did. I was at the door before Raph broke away and followed me. But he didn't try and make me stay.

DONATELLO:

Leo flopped down on the couch and hid his face in his hands. I studied him for a minute. "Somethin' wrong?" I questioned.

He sighed and shook his head. "Just wondering how long it's gonna go on like this."

"Like what?" I questioned.

He glanced up. "If we keep Clarisse down here much longer, she's gonna feel like a prisoner. But it's really not safe for her to be going up to the orphanage or walking around the streets when she's not supposed to be in New York. It's not good for her _or _for April's job."

I considered that for a moment. If anyone ever found out that April had made up a good portion of that story, she'd be fired in a heartbeat. That much was true. "I didn't realize there was a problem with Clarisse, though," I mumbled.

"Well, there's not right now, because we're _letting _her just go do whatever the hell she wants. But sooner or later..."

"You talk to Splinter about it?"

He shook his head. "No, not yet. I will, though." He glanced up at me and forced a smile. "Not like I can put it off for too much longer."

I handed him the file folder I'd been reviewing, deciding it was time for a change of subject. "Got this from April," I told him. "It's about that woman last night."

He took it and looked over the contents. "She was Japanese?" he questioned.

"Blonde hair, blue eyed American," I answered. "Only her name is foreign. And her record's clean." I nodded to the papers. "That's everything April could turn up on her."

He considered that for a moment. "Maybe he thought she was someone else."

"Yeah, that's what I'm thinking, too," I nodded. "I looked into it this morning. You interested?"

He glanced up. "Yeah," he mumbled. "Show me."

****

LEONARDO:

"Thirteen targets," he recounted as I watched over his shoulder. Diagrams of each of the buildings came up on the computer as he spoke. "The orphanage was first, two apartment buildings, three homeless shelters, four soup kitchens, a hospital, a mall, and a McDonalds', not necessarily in that order."

I nodded. "Except that first apartment fire was ruled an accident."

"Doesn't mean it was," he mumbled. "And then, what we didn't see before..." He rolled the chair back over the floor, and I followed him to a table covered in newspaper clippings. "With all of the big-scale terrorism, this stuff got buried."

I glanced over the scattered articles. "House fires?" I questioned.

"Arson."

"You think there's a connection?"

"It's obvious if you have all the pieces together. Look."

He handed me one of the articles. I read it slowly, all the way through. "The victim's first name was the same," I observed.

"Name _and _approximate age."

He slid back over to the computer, and I stared at the clippings for a moment. The same name screamed at me from each one. "So I checked it out," he continued. "And you're not gonna believe what I found."

I walked over to him. A list of names was on the screen, all obviously similar. "Richards and Satami were both killed in house fires," he mumbled, using their last names to tell them apart. "Yamada was the victim last night, Allen is assumed dead from the first apartment fire. The one that _accidently _started in her room."

I let that sink in for a minute. "_And_, get this... Clarisse's roommate? The one who was kidnapped and killed?"

I stared at the screen as he pointed to her name. "It wasn't about Clarisse at all."

He shook his head. "No. It wasn't."

"Why the other buildings?" I asked.

"Police have had a hard time identifying a lot of those victims because they didn't have to prove who they were and most of them didn't have any families. It could be that there were more."

I shook my head. "That's assuming too much. There's hundreds of thousands of people in New York. How can we say that of the dozen who might have the same foreign name, three of them definately lived in homeless shelters?"

"Or worked in them," he corrected.

I glanced at him. "What?"

"Richards was a nurse aid in the bombed hospital, Yamada worked at a McDonalds, Allen at a store in the mall. Satami stayed home with her twin boys while her husband worked." He stared at the screen for a minute and shook his head. "But I don't really think so. I think he destroyed those buildings because he had reason to believe that whoever he was searching for would be there, among the people who went by names other than their own."

He hit a key on the keyboard and the diagrams of the buildings came up again. "Look at the order in which they were attacked. First the orphanage, then the shelters, then the soup kitchens. _Then _he started with the apartments and the businesses, killing the person first and then anybody they may have talked to at their place of work."

I stared at the destruction, and confusion mingled with anger deep inside of me. "Why?" I thought out loud. Donny looked back at the screen and sighed. "What does some twenty-year-old girl named Kioko know that he's so afraid of?"


	40. Searching

****

SEARCHING

January, 1981

RAPHAEL:

"Master?"

"Silence!" Master Splinter snapped. Leonardo recoiled at his tone. I could tell it didn't even cross his mind to disobey. "Please remain quiet, my sons," Splinter whispered, his tone a little softer. "This is very important to me."

Leo sighed and slinked back over to where the rest of us were sitting. I glared at my kneepad as I picked at the fabric slowly. I was tired of sitting in this dark room. "This stupid," I mumbled under my breath. "Why we hiding from lady? Master Splinter kick her ass."

Leonardo glared at me. "Watch your mouth," he ordered. "Or _Sensei_ wash it out with soap." 

I stuck out my tongue at him and saw him flinch as he thought about going to tattle on me. But he decided not to. "Maybe it a game," Mikey suggested. "Like hide go seek."

I shoved Mike. He was so stupid sometimes. "Shut up, dufus. Grown ups no play games."

"Master Splinter look like he playing this one," Donatello answered quietly.

"Yoshi-san?" The woman's voice made us all turn. 

"Who Yoshi?" Mike asked me, as if I would know.

I shrugged, and watched Splinter for a few minutes. Finally the woman left. "Who was that?" Mikey asked.

_Sensei _didn't answer. "Are you hungry?" he questioned. "It is past lunch time now."

I quickly forgot about the lady.

SAKURA: 

"Mama, I'm hungry."

I turned to the child at my side. She was not demanding. Her eyes were fixed on the wall mural and it seemed as if she were making the statement only to remind me that it was nearly 1:00. "We will eat soon, Kioko," I assured her. "I need to ask these people something." I crouched down beside her and she turned to look at me. I pointed to a nearby bench against the mural. It was in plain sight of the counter. "Can you go and sit over there for me, Kioko-chan?" 

She nodded. "Okay, Mama."

"Be a good girl and I'll take you to McDonalds, okay?"

She skipped over to the bench a few feet away and I turned my attention to the counter. The attendant was thumbing through a filing cabinet, her back to me. "Excuse me?" I greeted. The woman turned and I smiled. "Hi. I was wondering... I'm looking for a friend of mine. I was wondering if you could help me."

She stared at me for a moment. "Who is it you're looking for?"

"A man... he might've come here for the winter. His name is Hamato Yoshi?"

She shook her head. "I haven't heard of him. But I haven't been here very long. You might ask around, though. If he's around, I'm sure someone has heard of him."

"Excuse me?" a man behind me interrupted.

I turned to him and he bowed politely. I stepped back and bowed in return. He was a Japanese, perhaps thirty years of age, and in very good shape. He was taller than Yoshi had been, and I knew that he was not the man I was in search of. "I am sorry," he apologized. "But I couldn't help but overhear you. You are in search of Hamato Yoshi?"

I nodded. "Yes. Do you know him?"

He smiled. "Why yes," he affirmed. "I met him some time ago in Chinatown. He is a _sensei_, no?"

My heart leaped for joy. He did know Yoshi. "Yes," I answered. "He came from Japan some time ago. I used to live with him."

The man eyed me suspiciously, as if for some reason he did not believe me. "Please, allow me to buy you and your daughter lunch. We can talk further."

Kioko appeared at my side again. "Can we, Mama? Please?"

The man smiled warmly at my daughter, then knelt down in front of her. "How old are you?" he asked.

The little girl was none-too-shy. "Four," she grinned, holding up four fingers on her right hand.

He nodded. "I have a son your age," he informed. "His name is Kado. What's your name?"

Kioko looked to me for approval. I had taught her from small about strangers, and what information was not to be shared. "This is Kioko," I introduced. The man rose to face me again. "And I am Sakura. What may we call you?"

He bowed politely. "My name is Komatsu Yuki," he informed. "And I am honored to meet you."

****

KIOKO:

"So how well do you know Yoshi-san?" Yuki asked.

Mama sipped her coffee. I dipped three french fries at a time into the goey mountain of ketchup. "Well, he... took me in when I was homeless on the streets."

Yuki studied her for a moment. "He had a house, then?" he questioned. "Or an apartment?"

"He lived in the sewers," I answered for her. I knew I would be lectured for talking with my mouth full, but I had heard the story so many times, I could not help but retell it as the opportunity presented itself. "With the rats and turtles."

"Kioko!" Mama laughed. I glanced at her and saw her cheeks turn slightly red.

"It is okay," Yuki assured. "It is no offense on my part. I already know of Yoshi's living conditions, actually. I have been to his home on various occasions."

That seemed to make Mama happier. I took a long drink of soda through the white, striped straw. "Have you spoken to him recently?" Mama asked.

He smiled. "Oh, yes. Actually, I had dinner with him just last night. He is looking quite well for a man of his age."

Mama sighed. "I have not seen him in nearly five years," she informed quietly. "It feels like an eternity."

"Five years," Yuki repeated. "He has some relation to Kioko, no?"

Mama's eyes widened slightly and Yuki laughed. "I am sorry. I speak out of place."

"He's my father," I offered. I glanced at Mama, realizing that I had once again embarrassed her, and lowered my eyes. "Sorry."

There was a moment of silence. Yuki stirred his coffee. "I could take you to see him," he offered. "Or perhaps set up a meeting if you'd like."

Mama smiled. "Yuki-san, you are too kind."

He laughed in reply. "Nonsense, Sakura," he answered. His eyes gleamed as he studied her. "Think nothing of it."


	41. Discussions

****

DISCUSSIONS

December 22, 1995

****

LEONARDO:

"Leonardo?"

"Mmm?"

"You okay?"

I didn't answer for a few seconds, staring out the window at the bright lights of the city. "Yeah, I'm alright, Anna."

She handed me a glass of water and pulled a barstool, the only piece of furniture in the room, near where I was sitting, on the windowsill. "You sure?"

I glanced at her and saw the concerned expression on her face. I forced a smile. "Yeah."

"What's bothering you?"

I sighed and looked away again, raising the water to my lips. "Nothing. Just... don't want to go home right now."

Her warm hand rested on my leg. "Well, I don't mind having you here," she informed me. I smiled. "But what's wrong at home?"

I sighed. "Raph is... really edgy right now and we'll rip each other's heads off if we're together for too long."

"Why?" she asked. "What happened?"

"Not entirely sure," I mumbled. "He's not pissed at _me _or I'd know it."

"Maybe it's about Clarisse?" she offered.

I sighed. "Maybe. I know one thing: Clarisse probably isn't going to be back."

"What do you mean?"

I shrugged. "Well, you can't expect her to stay with us forever. We gave her money a while ago, but she didn't want to leave." I glanced over at Anna. "But I think she's ready to leave now. Honeymoon's over and she's realizing that there's a downside to staying with us."

She smiled faintly. She had her feet up on one of the rungs of the stool, rather than on the floor. She was leaning on her arms, her shoulders hunched. "Where do you guys get all this money, anyway?" she finally asked.

I took another long drink. "Drug deals," I answered without thinking.

She nearly fell out of her chair, and it took me a minute to figure out why. "You sell _drugs_?"

I laughed. "No, we bust the deals. And we take what we need. Rest goes to the cops."

She thought about that for a minute. "That's kind of like stealing," she observed.

"Kind of," I agreed. "But it's really the only logical way we have of surviving." I sighed deeply and leaned back against the window frame. "You gotta understand, Anna. It's not that we're lazy. We'd go out and work if we could, you know? But we can't. So we... take care of the city. Kind of an unofficial job. And we have to survive off of whatever it gives us. Frankly, I'd rather steal from a drug dealer than from a grocery store."

She thought about that for a moment. "Yeah, but insurance might cover the store owner. The drug dealer could be _killed _for not delivering the money."

I shrugged. "Nah, he'll be in jail."

"And when he gets out?"

I laughed quietly. "Anna, who's the bad guy here? It doesn't really make a difference whether _we _bust him or the police do; if he's off the street, good has been done. We don't want the drugs in the city any more than the cops. We call them, they come and arrest the dealer, guy goes to jail, everything's confiscated... Successful drug bust and the police are heroes."

She chuckled. "Yeah, but the odds are a little more fair with the police, don'tcha think?" she grinned.

I smiled and shrugged. "Shouldn't be selling drugs on our streets," I answered simply. "I've never run into a criminal who didn't realize that what he was doing was wrong."

She considered that, and it was quiet. "What about insanity?" she asked after a long pause.

I sighed. "I think it's an overused defense and it's not valid nine times out of ten." I glanced at her. "I read something once, by a criminal profiler for the FBI. He said anyone who rapes and mutilates and murders a child is _obviously _sick in the head, but that doesn't mean they're insane. If they _knew _that it was wrong to do what they were doing, regardless of what compelled them or why, they're guilty of the crime."

"You're not particularly merciful toward criminals, are you?" she questioned.

I looked down on the street, considering that for a minute. "It depends," I finally answered. "Depends on who they're hurting. Prostitutes, drug addicts... they only hurt themselves, and I leave them alone. But rapists and dealers who sell drugs to kids... no, I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for them."

"Do you kill them?"

I glanced at her, a little shocked by the question. "What?"

She shrugged. "Well I... don't know a lot about _ninjutsu_, but I do know it's pretty deadly."

I studied her for a minute, then looked away again. "I try not to," I mumbled. "Sometimes it can't be helped. If it's a matter of killing the offender or endangering the victim..." I considered that for a moment, and sighed. "It really depends on the crime, the criminal... a lot of things."

"You ever just... _know _they did something wrong, but they'll get off free?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"You ever just want to... take care of it yourself?"

I sighed and looked back at her. "I won't lie to you, Anna. It's not easy to watch a killer walk free. But whenever we take the law into our own hands, intentionally or otherwise, it damages our alliance with the police. It's not like they smile upon vigilantes in the first place."

"Has there ever been an exception?" she questioned.

"Shredder is an exception," I answered coldly. "When we catch him, we're not handing him over to the police."

"Why not?" she asked. "Personal vengeance?"

I shook my head. "That's not the reason. It's _true_, but it's not the reason."

"What is the reason?"

"I have a lot of faith in our justice system, but I also know Oroku Saki. And I refuse to take the risk of having him end up on the streets again if we can shut him down."

"You don't think they'd convict him?" she asked, surprised.

I sighed. "It's not that, Anna. But in the first place I don't think they'll be able to handcuff him and _get _him all the way to the jail. Even if they _are _armed with guns. And if they convict him, what are they gonna do? Deport him back to Japan so he can kill people over there?" I shook my head. "I won't take that risk, Anna. I _can't_. I know him too well."

Her eyes fell and a look of sadness came over her face. "Why does he do it?" she asked quietly. "Why does human life mean so little to him?"

"He's got a massive superiority complex. He doesn't care who he hurts."

She sighed deeply and I glanced at her. She was cradeling her head in her hands. "You look tired," I observed. "You should go to bed."

"I am tired," she mumbled. She looked up at me and smiled faintly. "But I like talking to you."

I smiled and stood to my feet, pulling her to hers. "Tell you what," I mumbled, bringing our lips together. "How about I stay and go to bed _with _you?"

She kissed me back, wrapping her arms around my neck and pressing hard to me. "I'd like that," she smiled pulling away slightly.

"Yeah?"

"Mmm hmm."

"We can talk some more, huh?" I joked.

"Right," she laughed as I slipped my hands under her shirt to press against her back. "Just talk."

I held her tightly as I kissed her again.


	42. Death

****

DEATH

April, 1981

SPLINTER:

Something was wrong. I could feel it as I awoke from a dead sleep. There was no sound, but I knew that someone was here. I rose slowly and smelled the air. Yes, there was someone here; and he was no one I knew.

I stood and left my bedroom. A shadow whisped across the room, toward me. Acting instinctively, I spun to the side and hit the back of the intruder's neck with well-aimed precision. He dropped to the floor and I quickly turned him onto his back with my foot.

He was young, with dark hair and eyes, and the face of a Chinese. I glared at him, fully prepared to kill him if he struck out at me. "Who are you?" I demanded. "What do you want?"

The intruder stared up at me, the tip of my walking stick at his throat. "I'm only here to deliver a message," he answered.

"What message?"

"The Shredder has Sakura and your daughter." I froze, my blood running cold at the sound of his words. "If you want them to live, I can take you to them. Otherwise, he will kill them."

***

She lay lifeless on the floor, her hair fanned out around her. I could feel my heart breaking as I studied her. I was too late. Still, I walked to her and knelt at her side carefully. "Sakura," I whispered, running a hand lightly over her hair.

She took a breath, surprising me. "Yoshi..."

I bowed my head, tears burning my eyes. What had I done? "I am so sorry, Sakura," I whispered. "I should not have hidden from you."

She choked on another breath, and coughed blood. In the darkness, I could not see it. But the sound was unmistakeable. "I have to tell you," she struggled. "Your..."

She never finished. I closed my eyes as she exhaled one final time and fell silent. Tears streamed from my eyes as I rested a hand against the side of her face. "Sakura..."

****

SHREDDER:  
I sensed the moment he walked into the building. The student I had sent to retrieve him was not with him, but it was just as well. The little girl whimpered as I glanced at her. "Quiet," I ordered.

She wiped away tears with the heel of her palm, shaking her head as if in disbelief. "You are a bad man, Yuki," she choked. "You won't get away with this."

I laughed. "You watch too much television, child," I snapped. "Come here."

"No."

I felt anger boil inside of me and I walked to her. She screamed as I grabbed her hair and yanked her to her feet. Within seconds, he was in the room. I held her in front of me, claws against the soft pallet of her throat. She fell silent. Yoshi froze. 

"_Konnichiwa_, _Yoshi_," I greeted.

"Let her go," he ordered. "It is me you want."

"Ironic, is it not? How the tables turn..."

"Let her _go_, Saki," he growled. "I am warning you..."

"Do you know who this is, freak?" I asked. Perhaps he did not even know.

"I know that she is a child who has done nothing wrong," replied the still, tense figure. Even through his hideous mutation, he was still human enough to possess the same weaknesses. I knew this, and I intended to use it to my full advantage.

"Oh, but she _has _done something wrong," I snarled. "A mortal sin that's plagued humanity from the beginning of time. It determines which children are killed when a country goes to war, and which children will be persecuted for the color of their skin or the nature of their religion. She was born into the wrong family, Yoshi. _Your _family."

"It is me that you want; let her go."

"Kioko," I taunted, holding the girl still. "Such a pretty name. Such a pretty child."

"Let her go, Saki," the rat threatened. "You will gain nothing by killing her."

"Perhaps not. But you will surely lose something, won't you? Your precious daughter. A child. Does it break your heart, Yoshi?"

Perhaps he anticipated the move, but he could do nothing. He was too far away to stop me. He was at least not so foolish as to race at me without thinking. His child screamed for a fraction of a second as the claws sliced across her throat, then she fell silent. I dropped her to the floor and watched as the rat braced for battle.

"Sacrifices, Yoshi," I clarified. "You understand, right?"

He lowered his head like a dog preparing to attack. "Now I am going to kill you, Saki."

"Are you?" I challenged, backing away slowly. "She is not dead. Yet. Do you have the heart to leave her in pursuit of me? Do you have any heart anymore? Or are you purely an animal?"

"God damn you, Saki."

__

I smiled. "I am already damned. But not to your hand."


	43. Realization

****

REALIZATIONS

December 25, 1995

****

SHREDDER:

It was two o'clock in the morning. I didn't expect to see anyone awake. Much less did I expect them to be on the roof. Somehow, I was only slightly surprised to see that it was one of the four freaks guarding the building. I didn't think much of it until I noticed that he was not alone. He stood at the ledge of the roof, overlooking the street. There was nearly a foot of snow around them, but they had cleared a path. 

I watched for a moment, hesitant to initiate a confrontation in the deep snow. He placed an arm around her shoulders and I strained to see her more clearly. I would have to get closer. I climbed down onto the fire escape and jumped to the one on the adjoining building. I paused for a moment, to make sure I had not been heard, then climbed the ladder slowly to the roof. I peeked over the ledge just as the woman laughed. She turned toward me and I saw her face.

For a moment, I was surprised. This was the same "Miss Anna" that had been the topic of newspaper columns for weeks after the bombing. If I'd had a TV available, I was sure she'd have been the topic of discussion there, as well. She had become the unofficial spokesperson for the orphanage, due to her rescue efforts. I felt my blood boil, and pushed the thought out of my mind.

The creature laughed quietly. I clung to the shadows and strained to hear their conversation.

"I don't know, Anna."

"You must have _some _idea," she laughed in reply. 

He did not answer her for a long time. "I guess when you walked into the lair and surprised the hell out of all of us," he finally offered. "The look on your face..."

My interest in this woman was suddenly peaked. She knew where their lair was? They trusted her. Perhaps as much as their reporter friend. "Well, I was pretty surprised myself," Miss Anna laughed. "I didn't expect to find _you _there!"

I watched closely, straining to hear every word. I could not afford to miss the contents of this conversation.

****

ANNA:

"You never told me," he mumbled. "How _did _you find the lair?"

I breathed deep and snuggled closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder. "I had a map," I finally answered. "Although I had no idea it would lead me to you guys."

"What kind of map?" he asked, sounding confused. "Where did you find it?"

I smiled, though he couldn't see it. "Fate, I guess. It was in a pair of jeans I had from when I was a little girl. I didn't remember how it got there. But now I think I got it out of this box my mother gave me a long time ago."

He was quiet for a moment. "You said your mother was killed," he whispered. "And they never found who did it."

I sighed deeply. "No, they didn't."

"Tell me about it."

His fingers intertwined with mine and I smiled as his thumb rubbed gently back and forth over my pulse. "I don't really remember it, Leo. I just remember waking up in the hospital, hurt and confused, and finding out she was dead."

"How was she killed?"

"She was cut across her throat and down the center of her chest. She... bled to death. They didn't actually cut through her trachea."

"Was it all one cut?"

I sighed. "I don't know, Leo. What does it matter?"

He shrugged. "Well, it's the difference between an assassination and an amateur butchery attempt."

I sighed. "I don't know, Leo; I can't answer that. Why would they tell me that, anyways? I was six."

"Point taken," he mumbled.

I glanced at him. "You think you could find him?" I realized, surprised.

"I don't know," he admitted. "A fourteen year old cold case file? It wouldn't be easy."

I considered that for a minute. "Yeah, that's kind of what the police say too."

"She have any enemies you remember?"

"No," I sighed. "But like I said before, I don't really remember anything clearly."

"Any chance she left... documents? A journal? Something like that?"

"I have her diary," I offered. "But half of it's in Japanese, and I can't read that."

"I could," he informed me.

My eyes widened and I pulled away from him. "Really?"

He nodded. "Splinter taught us Japanese. He insists we speak it during any kind of formal practice session, when he's there. We speak it about half the time, with each other."

I smiled. "I never knew you were bilingual!"

He grinned back. "You never asked."

I studied him for a moment. "She say anything in her diary about enemies she might have?"

I shook my head. "Not in what I could read. Not unless you could count the man who brought her over from Japan."

"What do you mean?"

I sighed and leaned against him again. "He was really mean to her. He beat her and then he threw her out on the street when he didn't want her around anymore. And she had nothing."

Leonardo remained still. "She ever run into him again?"

"Not that I know of."

"What'd she do? I trust she didn't go back to Japan. Were you born here?"

"Yes."

"So this guy was your father?"

I hesitated. "No I... don't think so. I mean, I guess he could've been but... I think my father was someone else."

"Why?"

"Because of her diary. She met this other guy after she was thrown out on the streets." I smiled as I considered the story. I remembered bits and pieces of it from when I was young and my mother used to recite it to me at bedtime. "She accidently went into this building and I guess she was trespassing on some kind of gang territory. She didn't really understand it when she tried to explain it so I'm not sure exactly what happened. But this Japanese man came and stopped them from killing her. And they both got hurt. Her ankle was twisted and he was shot."

He smiled faintly. "How sweet," he mumbled. I couldn't tell if that was sarcasm or not, but judging from his usual manners, I doubted it was. It sounded more like amusement, so I continued.

"Yeah. He took her to where he was staying, in the sewers."

Suddenly, he tensed. I opened my eyes and saw him staring at me with a suspicious look on his face. "What?" I laughed.

He watched me for a moment. "Nothing," he lied. "Go on."

His eyes burned into me as he waited for more of an explanation. "Well, they... fell in love," I continued. "And I was conceived." 

He said nothing. I looked away from him. "His name was Hamato Yoshi."

Leonardo suddenly jumped back. I nearly fell over, and gripped the ledge hard to regain my balance. Leo was staring at me with wide eyes. "You're telling me that your father was Hamato Yoshi?" he stammered. 

I nodded, missing the element of shock that he had obviously identified. "Yes."

His jaw dropped. He said nothing. "What's the matter?" I asked, my thoughts suddenly racing. "Does that mean something to you? Did you know him?"

"Uh," he struggled. "Well, uh... not... _exactly._" 

"What do you mean, not exactly?" I demanded. The possibility that they knew Yoshi had never occurred to me, though I wasn't sure why. According to the map that had led me to them, they were staying where he and my mother had, years before. 

"What else did she say?" he choked, ignoring my question.

"About what? Yoshi?" It was obvious that that's where his interest lie.

"Yes."

"Well, she said a lot of things," I struggled. "She loved him a lot, even though he was quite a bit older than she was. He was just this quiet, gentle man who lived in the sewer with his rats and four..."

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. My eyes went wide, and I jerked away from Leonardo, bolting upright. We stared at each other in wide-eyed shock. I felt unable to breathe. "You're Hamato Yoshi's turtles!"

"Splinter," he whispered, sounding as awestruck as I felt.

The second realization was more powerful than the first. I reeled from the aftershock as he studied me, the surprise still evident. "You're Splinter's... daughter."

****

Dun dun dun...!

Confused yet? Imagine, TN, you were right all along... *evil laugh*


	44. Survivor

****

SURVIVOR

April, 1981

MRS. COLLINS:

The police officer stood at the foot of the hospital bed, looking down at the little girl. She was attached to tubes and monitors, and covered by white sheets and a thin green blanket. But she was alive. And she was very lucky to be alive. I sat in a chair near her head, stroking her hair gently. "I need to get a statement from her when she wakes up," the officer informed.

I bowed my head. "The doctors aren't sure how long that might take. Or if she'll be able to talk at all."

"What do you mean?"

I sighed. "The person who did this very narrowly missed her vocal chords. If she can talk at all, she likely won't be able to for quite some time."

The officer sighed and glanced at the guard stationed at the door. "Given the nature of her injuries, we'll continue to watch her," he informed. "But chances are that whoever did this thinks she's dead."

"So that's a good thing," I guessed.

"Yes, it could be. For as long as we can keep the media away, she'll be safe."

I studied the girl, then the man standing over her. "Officer," I started, "somebody performed a tracheotomy to allow her to breathe. Is there any way to find out who...?"

The officer shook his head slowly. "The call came from a pay phone and nobody in the area saw anything. We'll continue to investigate into what might have happened, but we obviously can't make any guarantees."

"Have you identified her yet?"

The man smiled sympathetically. "Mrs. Collins, I'm afraid we can't release any information right now."

I nodded slowly. "I understand."


	45. Anger

****

ANGER

December 25, 1995

RAPHAEL:

"Leo?" 

He nearly jumped out of his shell. I laughed quietly. "Little paranoid tonight?"

He turned to look at me. I was pressed back in a corner of the couch, half asleep. I was surprised Leo hadn't seen me. He must be really deep in thought. "You okay?" I asked.

He stared at me blankly for a moment, then managed a slight nod. "You sure?" I pressed, suddenly sensing that he might _not _be okay. "You look like you just saw a ghost."

He sat down on a nearby chair and stared at the coffee table, a dumbfounded look on his face. Something had shocked him _good _this time. I considered that for a moment before I stood up. Leo and I hadn't been on the best of terms since Clarisse took off. We both knew that if he'd just eased off, she might've stayed longer. But now wasn't the time to bring that up. Something was wrong, and it was obvious.

"Go for a walk?" I suggested.

He looked up slowly and stared at me as if I'd just grown another head in his presence. "Hey, we can pretend to be civilized for a few minutes, can't we?" I grinned. I offered him a hand and he stared at it for a moment before allowing me to pull him to his feet. 

We left the lair silently and started down the long tunnel. Still, he said nothing. After a few minutes, I realized this was going to take some prodding. "Okay, so what happened to you?" I demanded. "You get laid or something?"

"Raph!" he cried, obviously shocked. Whether by the suggestion or the fact that I'd flat out asked him that, I wasn't sure.

I laughed to myself. Okay, so that wasn't it. But at least it got him talking. Now if I could just _keep _him talking. "Well, you and Anna... you know."

"No, Raph."

"You sure?" I challenged.

"Yes."

"Okay, so what _did _you do?"

"I..." he hesitated. "Talked to her."

I hit my forehead with the palm of my hand. Of course he didn't sleep with her. Why would he need to when just _talking _to her left him in a post-orgasmic stupor? "Leo, you amaze me," I mumbled.

"What?" he questioned. "Why?"

"You need to just fuck her and get it over with already."

"Raphael, stop," he ordered, his voice ice cold. But he didn't sound like he was in a trance anymore.

"_Tell _me you don't want to do her, Leo," I challenged.

He turned and suddenly, without warning, pinned me to the wall by my shoulders. "If I wanted to sleep with Anna, I would have already done it, Raph," he growled. "I don't need you to tell me how to run my life and I _don't _need you making comments like that about her. She's not a goddamn toy."

_Damn _he was short tempered tonight! I'd never seen him like this! I was gonna have bruises where he was gripping me. "Okay, okay," I relented, shocked by his outburst. 

He let go of me and backed off. I followed him as he began walking again. "So what happened, Leo?" I questioned. "Because you look seriously tripped out."

"Anna Palmer is Hamato Yoshi's daughter."

I froze. My blood ran cold. Did he just say what I thought he did? Anna Palmer? _Miss _Anna Palmer? How the _hell _did he come up with _that _idea? There was no way...

He kept walking for a few steps, then stopped. He hung his head for a moment, then turned back to me. I knew my eyes were wide as saucers, but I couldn't do a damn thing about it. "What's the matter Raph?" he taunted, clapping a hand over my shoulder. "You look like you just got laid or something."

He shoved me hard and turned his back on me. I stumbled over my own two feet for a minute, watching him walk away. Finally, I managed to take a few steps. I ran to catch up with him. "You're kidding, right?" I choked.

"No," he mumbled, his voice low and serious. "Splinter and a woman named Sakura. Fifteen years younger than him and thrown out on the streets by the guy who brought her over from Japan."

"Oh, like _hell_!" I half-laughed.

"Believe it, Raph, the whole thing came out of Anna's mouth; I never said word one. The sewers, Yoshi, and his pet rats and turtles."

He stopped and turned to look at me. I knew I was gaping, but I couldn't hide my shock. "He..." I stammered. "Why wouldn't he tell us?"

"Anna thinks he didn't know," he mumbled.

"How could he _not_?"

"Sakura left shortly after Anna was conceived," Leo explained. "But if you want my take, I think he _did _know. And I think he didn't tell us for the same reason that he didn't tell Sakura that he was still alive."

I stared at him as memories that flooded to mind, and swallowed hard. "I remember."

Leo nodded slowly. "We were three. She _did _come looking for him and he hid from her."

"Why?" I wondered out loud.

"He didn't want to face her as Splinter," he answered. "Wanted her to think he was dead so she could get on with her life." The serious tone suddenly disappeared from his voice, replaced with a cynical, almost non-chalant one that was so unlike Leo, it scared me. "It's very romantic when you think about it, Raph."

He turned away. I watched him take a few steps and knew that he wasn't going to wait for me this time. "Hey," I called after him. He stopped, but didn't turn around. I hesitated for a minute. "Maybe he _didn't _know," I tried. "About Anna."

He looked over his shoulder. "I remember seeing Sakura and I remember that she had a little girl with her. If I saw it, so did he."

"But maybe he didn't _know_," I defended, still dumbstruck. "Maybe he didn't know it was his."

He turned slowly and walked in front of me. "Raphael, you know Splinter as well as I do," he said coldly. "And you know just as well as I do that he probably recognized her from the moment she set foot in the lair. When she handed him that map that _he _probably drew and said 'I've had this since I was a little girl,' _tell _me you don't think he knew!"  
I could hear the anger in my brother's voice, and it scared me. In all of my sixteen years, I'd neverseen him this mad at Splinter. In fact, I couldn't remember him _ever _being mad at _Sensei_. I had no idea how he was going to handle it.

I didn't really even understand his anger. We all knew that Hamato Yoshi had existed long before we were ever born. He'd told us almost nothing about his life before he'd been transformed, except the events leading up to his exile from Japan. "When you were human did you ever...?" was always answered in the same way: That was another life. We all knew it; we accepted it. Hamato Yoshi died when Splinter was born and we fed off of his wisdom without knowing where or how he'd gained it.

"So what if he did know, Leo?" I struggled. "What if he _did _know about Anna and he didn't tell you? Does it change the way you feel about her?"

"No."

"And you think he didn't know that? Why would he want to bring up old wounds if she...?" 

"It's not _about _Anna, Raph," he growled. "It's about honesty. And if he would lie to us about her because she's part of Hamato Yoshi's life, what's to say he wouldn't lie about other things?" 

I stared at him, stunned by the accusation. "He didn't _lie _to you, Leo, he just didn't say anything!"

"Where do you think Shredder came from, Raph?" he continued, ignoring me. "And if Hamato Yoshi is so dead that he can't fess up to having a daughter, why the hell would he tell us the whole story behind Oroku Saki? Or maybe the whole story about why he came over here."

"Why's it any of your business?" I challenged.

"Because I would defend that man to my _death_!" he yelled, pointing back toward the lair. "I would defend his honor to my _grave_ believing every _fucking _word that comes out of his mouth without question, without suspicion, without ever _once _thinking that he would fail to tell me something that _directly _affects my life!"

"How the hell was he supposed to know that, Leo?" I demanded. "It's not like you told him you were in love with Anna and asked what he thought about it!"

"_You _knew!" he cried. "You think _he _didn't?"

"I think _he's _got the dignity and respect for you to not come out and ask if your fucking her, Leo!" I shot angrily. "He ain't _like _me Leonardo; he'd never bring that out in the open and tell you what he thought about it unless you _asked _him!"

"He knew, and he should've told me," Leo growled.

"Why?" I demanded. "If you really love her it wouldn't make any difference."

"It's _not _about Anna, Raphael," he repeated.

"Well, you go off about how he should've told you but you don't give me any reason why," I snapped. 

"What else hasn't he told us, Raphael?" he demanded. "If he can stand there and look Anna in the face and not tell her that she's his daughter, what kinds of things could he _not _tell us?"

I stared at him, realizing the implication of his words as he turned and walked away. I suddenly knew exactly what was on his mind. "No," I protested, stopping him. "No, Leo, I don't believe I'm hearing this. You can't be serious." He didn't move. "I mean, not telling Anna that he was in love with her mother, not telling you that you're in love with his daughter... I think that's a little different than not telling us why we're fighting his mortal enemy."

He sighed deeply and looked down. I pushed away from the wall. "Leo, you're scaring me," I admitted, approaching him slowly. A million thoughts raced through my mind as I considered for the first time in my life that I might not know the whole story between Splinter and Shredder, and what might be hidden there. "I mean, don't you think you're blowing this a little bit out of proportion, Leo?" 

My mind reeled with the sudden force of suspiscion I'd never thought to harbor before. Leo said nothing, only stared at the ground. I stepped closer and swallowed hard. "Leonardo?"

He looked up at me slowly, and I saw tears in his eyes. "I'm just realizing for the first time in my life that the one person I thought I could trust unconditionally hasn't been perfectly honest with me," he whispered. I studied him, unable to say anything. "Our whole lives we've trusted him, Raph," he breathed. "And everything we know about who we are and why we're here, it all came from his mouth. He made us everything we are and we never once questioned him."

"And is that really so terrible, Leo?" I asked quietly. "Do you really hate who you are? Who he made you?"

He stared at me for a long time, saying nothing. "I don't know, Raph," he finally answered. "I don't really know what to think right now. My whole universe has just been turned upside down. And I don't know..."

His voice trailed off and he closed his eyes, turning away as tears threatened to overflow. I stood beside him, unmoving, afraid to speak. For a long time, it was silent. 

"I never thought I'd hear this coming from your mouth, Leo," I finally whispered. He kept his head turned, not looking at me. "I've envied your relationship with Splinter my whole life knowing that it was yours because you were everything I could never be." I could feel a righteous anger begin to seeth inside of me as I studied him. "Perfect son, fearless leader, and all those things I've always hated about you now don't you _dare_...!" I grabbed his shoulder and spun him to face me. "...throw all that away because your hurt by the one thing he _didn't_ tell you! Especially when he probably, somehow, thought that he was doing it for your safety."

He stared at me for a long time. "Leo, you know Splinter; you probably know him better than any of us. And you know he'd never do anything to intentionally hurt you. You _know _that!"

He closed his eyes and was quiet for a minute. "I thought I knew that, Raphael," he finally whispered, opening his eyes again. I was silenced by the pain there. "I don't know what I believe right now."

He clapped a hand over my shoulder, then turned and walked away. As much as I wanted to stop him, I couldn't find anything else to say.

****

ANNA:

I lay silent, staring at the wall. A knock at the bedroom door almost made me jump out of my skin. "Anna? It's me. You awake?"

Leonardo. I sat up. "You can come in."

The door cracked open and he poked his head inside. "I'm sorry if I woke you," he aplogized. "I didn't mean to."

"You didn't," I assured him. "I was awake."

"Um, you mind if I crash in your living room?" he asked hesitantly. "I really... don't wanna go home right now."

I smiled sympathetically. "Sure, Leo."

"Thanks."

He closed the door again and I didn't hear a sound for a few minutes. My mind played over the same images, over and over again. Between my story and Leo's, I could understand most of what had happened. I wondered if it was possible that my mother knew more, that she'd omitted things from her writing. When she came back to New York and searched the sewers, did she ever find Yoshi? Did she ever see Splinter? Did he ever see her? 

I didn't remember my mother's search. I didn't remember anything about it, although Leonardo said he'd seen me when I was little. I vaguely remembered going to homeless shelters in search of him, although she never actually said who we were searching for. She spoke in hushed tones to shop managers and DHS workers, looking everywhere for any sign of him. Did he know how hard she'd looked?

I knew now where the map had come from. He still lived there, years later. He'd lived there during the time that she'd gone back to look for him. Did he hide from her? Leonardo said he did. But why? Did he not recognize her? He had to recognize her. There was no way he could've _not _recognized her.

I watched the minutes pass, the glowing red digits on the clock changing every sixty seconds. I always seemed to reach sixty before the numbers changed. "One, one thousand, two, one thousand..."

Frustrated with this insomnia, and the thoughts racing through my head, I threw the covers aside and grabbed my black robe off the back of the door. I expected Leo to be asleep on the couch, but he was sitting in the open window, staring out at the city lights. He looked at me as I walked into the room. "You're not sleeping," I observed.

"Neither are you," he reminded me.

I approached him slowly and he looked away again. His arm circled my waist as I leaned against him gently, my hands on his shoulder. "You don't have to stay on the couch, you know," I whispered. "I mean, you can, but you're welcome to come to bed, too."

He didn't answer. For a long time, it was quiet. "I'm sorry," I finally whispered.

"For what?"

"Well, I feel if I'd have said something sooner..."

"No, Anna," he mumbled. He didn't offer any more of an explanation.

I massaged gently at the tense muscles in his shoulder. "You're upset," I sighed.

His arm fell from my waist and returned to his lap, but he didn't look at me. "Not at you."

"Who, then?"

He closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. "You're mad at Splinter?" I guessed. He gave me no answer whatsoever, but I knew I was right. "He didn't know, Leo."

Still nothing. I sighed deeply and slipped my arm around his neck to his other shoulder. I leaned down and kissed the top of his head, then turned my face and rested my cheek against him. Still as a statue, I'm not sure he even breathed. 

He was silent for a long time, not moving. I wasn't sure what else to say, so I didn't speak. We stood there in the window, looking out over the city as we waited for dawn.

****

NOW REVIEW!!!! THIS IS NOT AN OPTION!!! LOL

And yes, I know there's still things that don't make sense. They will. We'll see what kind of reviews turn up and then we'll decide when to post this next chapter... Hee hee


	46. Uninvited Guest

****

UNINVITED GUEST

December 25, 1995

Okay, okay, I know... I should've posted this sooner. You all reviewed and you DESERVED another chapter a hell of a lot more quickly than I got this one out. Sorry sorry sorry... lol Life happened and it wasn't fun. But I'm back on track and posting again. We have one more post after this (Could probably make it into two, but I don't wanna torture all of you because I'm nice.) Anyhow, enjoy and please review.

MICHAELANGELO:

"Where is Leonardo?" Master Splinter asked as he stepped out of the _dojo_.

I glanced at Donatello, then back at _Sensei_. "I'm not sure," I answered. "Is he still asleep?"

"It is not like Leonardo to sleep so late," Splinter observed.

"Well, he was out kinda late last night," Donny mumbled. "He still wasn't home when I went to bed and that was almost eleven."

"He's with Anna."

We all turned to see Raphael. "He spent the night with her?" I questioned, not sure I believed that.

"I don't know where he spent the night, but I'd be willing to bet that's where he is now."

Raphael's voice was cold and emotionless. A worried look crossed Splinter's face before he turned and walked out of the room. Raph watched him go, then turned and walked into the kitchen. I glanced once more at the rerun on TV, and followed him. 

I stopped in the doorway. He sighed as he turned to me, then pulled the fridge open and stared inside. "You talked to him last night, didn't you?" I assumed.

"So?" Raph shot. "I talk to him every day. Didn't know I needed to report to you first."

"I heard him come home."

"What's your point, Mike?" he demanded, throwing the door closed. He seemed disinterested.

I leaned against the doorframe. "Is he okay?"

"Well, it would've been kinda hard to talk to him if he wasn't all in one piece."

"No, I mean..." I started. He pushed past me before I had a chance to finish. "Raph, come on," I called after him. He stopped, but didn't turn around. "What'd I miss? You're pissed off and Leo's playing hookie from practice, now _something _is up."

He was still for a minute, then he turned around. "I'm not pissed off," he informed me. "I've just got a lot on my mind right now. And if you wanna know what's up with Leo, you'll have to ask him."

Without another word, he turned around. 

****

ANNA:

I awoke slowly and rubbed my eyes as I sat up. I was in bed, still in my robe, but I wasn't entirely sure how I'd gotten here. Fuzzy memories came back to me slowly. Leo was here last night. He'd carried me to bed when I'd practically fallen asleep in his lap. I wondered if he was still here.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and glanced at the clock. It was almost noon. I rubbed away a slight headache and opened my bedroom door. "Leonardo?"

The apartment was empty. There was no sign of him. I yawned and walked to the bathroom, where I splashed a handful of cold water on my face. I shouldn't have slept this late. "Miss Anna!"

A little girl was pounding on my front door. I dried my face and retied my robe on the way to the door. It was Kristie. "Miss Anna, did you say Jenny could have Starburst for breakfast?"

I glanced at the clock, still half-asleep and not totally comprehending the words. "Little late for breakfast, isn't it?" I asked, stepping back to allow her into the room.

"Did you just wake up, Miss Anna?"Kristie laughed.

I ruffled her hair. "Yeah, Miss Anna was up late last night."

"Doin' what?"

"Talking to a friend."

"Was it Mikey?"

"No, honey, it was Leo."

"Oh," she grinned. 

"What's _that _look for?" I laughed giving her a slight shove.

She giggled. "You like Leo, don't you Miss Anna?" she smirked.

"Of course I like him," I answered seriously. "He's a very nice person. And he saved my life besides."

"Yeah, but you got a _crush _on him!" she laughed.

I'd had a feeling that was what she was getting at. I smiled. "Comere you!" I cried, lunging at her. She shrieked as I caught her around the waist and dug my fingers into her sides.

We stumbled around my living room for a few minutes before I finally let her go. "So what'd you guys talk about?" she asked, plopping down on the sofa.

"Good question."

I spun, startled by the unfamiliar voice. Michaelangelo was crouched in my windowsill. Kristie jumped up. "Mikey!"

He smiled at her briefly, and dropped to the floor as she threw her arms around his waist. But his gaze quickly returned to me. "What _did _you guys talk about?"

For a moment, I wondered how long he'd been there. But I realized it probably wasn't important. If my girls could tell I was in love with Leo, it would be no surprise to Michaelangelo. "Why?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

"He missed practice this morning," Mike informed. "Raph said he might be here."

I shook my head. "He was here last night but I don't know where he went this morning."

Mike studied me carefully. "Is he okay, Anna?" he asked, his voice more serious than I'd ever heard it. "It's not like Leo to stay out all night. And Splinter's worried."

Splinter. The name brought a wave of memories rushing back to me, all at once. I had thought Leo would be eager to talk to him first thing this morning. I wondered where he'd gone to if not home. "Anna?"

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. "No, I... don't know where he went."

"Perhaps I could help you find him!" came a dark voice from the window. I spun again and saw a man with his face half-covered and a metal helmet on his head. He had spiked metal gauntlets, and a dark purple outfit. "I could certainly give him some incentive to show himself."

I could feel the tension as Michaelangelo stepped in front of me and Kristie. "Shredder," he growled.


	47. Shredder

****

SHREDDER

December 25, 1995

****

KRISTIE:

Mikey stepped in front of us, gripping two short sticks as two more men came in through the window. They were joined by a metal chain. I wasn't sure what it was he was holding, but I figured it was some kind of weapon. I doubted that it was going to do a whole lot against the swords the two men held, not to mention the sharp blades all over the other man's costume. He was covered in metal armor. 

"What are you doing here, Shred-head?" Mike demanded. I'd never heard him talk in that tone before, and it kind of surprised me. He wasn't really scary, but he was definately serious.

"Step aside, freak," the metal man ordered. His voice was low and threatening. I wanted to run away from him, but we were trapped against the wall. The only way out was through Mike, and that didn't look like a smart way to go. "Just don't get in my way and I won't have to hurt you."

Mike laughed quietly. I pressed against Miss Anna and she put her arms around my shoulders. "Gee, Shredder, I never knew you had a sense of humor," Mike snickered.

"I only want her," the man pointed at Miss Anna. She tensed and I looked up at her. Why did the man want her? "I don't want to have to kill you in the mean time."

"Aw, well, isn't that sweet of you," Mike grinned. "But don't do me any favors, huh?"

The man sighed. "Save yourself the humiliation," he advised. "And save me the trouble. If you could defeat me, you would've done it long ago."

Mike began to twirl his weapons. "You're breakin' my heart, Tin-grin."

Anna held me tighter. The metal man sighed. "Very well."

He waved his hand and the two black figures next to him put one foot forward, raising their swords in front of them. Mike didn't take his eyes off them. One hand reached behind him and pulled the other weapon off his belt. I had never noticed before that he carried them. I'd never thought about it before. Could he actually fight with those? Right now, I _really _hoped so.

The two figures with the swords came closer. Suddenly, Mike moved, hitting both of their weapons with his. At the same time, he kicked the legs of one of them. He stumbled back and Mike turned to the other one. He attacked, faster than I'd ever seen anyone move. He hit the sword and the hand holding it at the same time, using both of his weapons. Then he jammed his knee into the man's stomach and spun to face the other one, who'd regained his balance by now.

He caught the sword as it came down with the chain between the handles. Then he dropped one arm and swung one of the weapons at his side. He hit the man under his arm, on his ribs. I heard him gasp. Mike hit the sword, close to the man's hand, and he dropped it. Mike turned his body to us but kept his eyes on the man as he kicked to the side. He hit the man in the chest and he flew backward and crashed into the wall with a cry of pain. He turned to the other man, who was recovering quickly. 

Mike gripped both handles of his weapons and punched him in the face. Then, suddenly, the room filled with smoke. I choked and gagged, struggling for air. I felt Miss Anna's grip loosen and her arm retracted, letting go of me. "No!" I coughed as the smoke swirled around us. I felt dizzy. "Miss...!"

I dropped to my knees and my eyes slid closed as I fell to the floor, face down.

****

SPLINTER:

"Has Leonardo returned home?" I questioned.

Donatello looked up from his lunch. "He came in about a half hour ago. I think he's in the _dojo_," he informed. 

I nodded slightly and left the room, walking toward the training room. Leonardo was not there. But it was obvious by the intensity in the atmosphere that he had been quite recently. I turned and walked to his bedroom. Through the door, I could tell he was meditating, and I reconsidered disturbing him. But it had become obvious that something was wrong, and I knew I could not continue to ignore his sudden change. "Leonardo?"

There was a pause as I waited for an answer. The voice came back cold and emotionless. "Come in."

I turned the handle and pushed the door open. He was sitting on the floor, the only light in the room coming from a candle a few feet behind him on the besdide table. I bowed in greeting, and he nodded slightly in return. His face was expressionless.

"You missed practice this morning," I observed. "That is most unlike you. Is something troubling you?"

"I'd rather not talk about it yet," he shot back

I stared at him, slightly shocked. He had never answered me in that way before, nor with that tone. "Why not?" I questioned calmly.

"Because it is not appropriate for a student to confront his _sensei _in anger," he answered.

Again, I was surprised at his words. I lowered myself to the floor, legs crossed in front of me. "Speak freely, Leonardo," I urged him, concerned. "How have I angered you?"

He looked away and I waited quietly for an explanation. Though I tried, I could not guess at what he was thinking. It was as if he had raised a barrier around his mind - one I could not penetrate. So I waited for him to speak on his terms.

"You lied to me," he finally whispered.

I considered that for a moment. "When did I lie to you? And concerning what?"

"Concerning Anna."

Our eyes met again and I saw cold fury written there. "You told me you didn't know her," he continued. "I _asked _you if you knew her and you told me you'd never _met _her before."

I shook my head slightly. "That was not a lie. I never _had _met her."

"Bull _shit_!"

His eyes closed almost immediately, and he hung his head, turning away. "I'm sorry," he whispered through gritted teeth.

I considered his words in the silence that followed. I had never seen him so angry. To use such a phrase in my presence was most unlike him, but to speak it directly _to _me? His anger was fierce. Perhaps moreso than he would care to admit, being so often calm and in control. He prided himself on those abilities, and his lack of self-control at this moment certainly explained his recent seclusion. I quite easily recognized the correlation between his present state and the one person he had no doubt chosen to confide his discovery in.

"Did you speak with Raphael about this?" I questioned.

"Raphael has nothing to do with it," he answered coldly, though he didn't deny it. "You _lied _to me, Master, and that's what it's about. You said you didn't know her."

I sighed. It was obvious that he knew the truth and there was no point in keeping it from him any longer. "Is it not possible for one to be ill acquainted with a child he has never met?"

"But you _knew _who she _was_!"

I shook my head. "You did not ask me if I recognized her, Leonardo; you asked me if I _knew _her, which I do not."

He stared at me blankly. "Master, I don't understand why we have to play Twenty Questions for me to get you to tell me about something that directly affects my life!"

"How so?"

"Because I'm in love with her and you know _that_, too!"

I sighed and looked away for a moment. "Leonardo, it is not my place to interfere in your relationship with Anna."

"That's _not _what I'm saying," he shot back. "How is it _interfering _to tell me the truth?"

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. "Leonardo, I do not know my daughter," I finally whispered. "I had no doubt that if you were truly in love with her, you would eventually find out."

"And that's a _bad _thing?" he cried. "What's with the secrecy? Why not just _tell _me? Or _her _for that matter!"

"Would it have made your love for her any less?" I demanded.

He glared at me. "If you'd been honest with me from the start, I doubt that it would change anything between me and Anna. But it would _definately _change something between me and you!"

I studied him for a moment, not entirely sure how to reply. He looked away. "My whole life I've trusted you unconditionally," he whispered, his head turned to the wall. "And everything you've always hidden from us, I didn't let it bother me because I _knew_..." He paused and glanced back at me. "... that it didn't have anything to do with us, here, now."

I did not answer, as it was obvious that he was not through. "And I trusted you, that if there _was _something, that you would tell us. And maybe that's why I feel so betrayed right now. Why I'm questioning all those things that you told us and we believed you even though you didn't give us a reason. Because we trusted that if we _needed _a reason, if we _needed _an explanation, if we _needed _the _truth _you'd give it to us!"

I said nothing. He closed his eyes and breathed deep. For a long time, it was silent. He was not waiting for me to speak, and I was well aware of that. Whatever he was thinking, he never spoke it. A knock on the door interrupted him. "Leo?"

"Give us a moment," I answered for him, seeing the fury cross his features.

"Michaelangelo's in trouble, Master."

I glanced toward the door, waiting for further explanation. "Shredder just called on his communicator," Donatello continued after a moment of silence. "He said something about Anna."

Leonardo's eyes raised and met mine for a moment. I watched him, knowing that he would choose his duty to his brother over his desire for knowledge. After a few seconds of tension, he stood and picked up his _katanas _off the bed. He walked out the front door, slamming it against the wall as he threw it open.


	48. Explanations

****

EXPLANATIONS

December 25, 1995

MICHAELANGELO:

"Mikey! Hey! Wake up!"

I moaned slightly and cringed at the pain. I had a headache behind my eyes, and my arm hurt. "Mike? You okay?"

I opened my eyes. All three of my brothers were leaning over me. Where was I? I could feel blood run down my arm. I hadn't been out for very long. "Why'm I bleeding?" I slurred. I was starting to remember what had happened, but I didn't remember getting cut.

"You got a cut on your arm," Don informed me. "But it's not bad."

I groaned and tried to sit up. Leo slipped an arm behind my back and helped me. I saw Kristie at my feet. "Are you okay?" she asked. She'd been crying.

"Yeah, babe, I'm fine. You alright?"

She nodded. "They took Miss Anna."

I closed my eyes. "Yeah, I figured."

"Do you know why?" Donny questioned.

I shook my head and the room started to spin. I moaned slightly. "I don't know," I admitted.

"What did he say?"

"I... don't think he said anything, really," I whispered, massaging my temples. The headache was slowly going away. "Nothing important anyhow."

Raphael stood up. "Well, at least we still got this guy," he gestured.

Leo rose and walked over to them. The man was nearing consciousness, from the quiet noises he was making. "He's probably got cracked ribs," I informed, still kinda out of it. "So be careful."

"Yeah, we'll be nice and _gentle_!" Raph growled, jerking the man up.

The headache had subsided. Donny rested a hand on my shoulder. "Y'okay?"

"Yeah."

I looked down at my arm. It wasn't too bad. Splinter wasn't going to be happy, though. Donny handed me my weapons. "Shredder himself came, right?" he asked as he helped me to my feet.

"Yeah," I gasped, gripping his arm for support. It took me a minute to gain my balance.

"Did he say anything about why he wanted her?"

I shook my head as I steadied myself. Kristie walked over to Leonardo. "Leo?"

He turned to her. The man was awake now and his facemask was on the floor. "I don't know anything!"

"Why did he take Miss Anna?" Kristie asked.

Leo rested a hand on Raphael's shoulder, and shifted his eyes quickly to the wide-eyed little girl. Raph followed his gaze, and relaxed his grip slightly. I breathed deep. "Hey Kristie, come here," I called.

She turned and walked to me. I hugged her, shooting a pleading look at Raphael. _Just give me two minutes to get her out of here..._ He nodded just slightly, knowing what I meant even if I hadn't said it out loud. I crouched in front of Kristie and rested my hands on her shoulders. "You're hurt," she told me.

"I'm okay," I assured her. "Listen, we're gonna find Miss Anna, okay? There's nothing to worry about. But I need you to do something for me. Can you do that?"

She nodded bravely and brushed her cheeks roughly. "I want you to go tell Mrs. Collins what happened, okay? And don't tell anyone else. Promise?"

She nodded her head again. "Okay, Mikey."

I hugged her again, careful not to get blood on her clothes, and kissed her forehead. "It'll be okay, Kris. We'll find her."

She pulled away from me and gave one last look over her shoulder before heading to the door. "Remember, don't say anything to anyone except Mrs. Collins," I reminded her.

She nodded and disappeared out the door. "Mrs. Collins?" Don asked me.

"Kind of the head overseer here," I explained. "She knows us."

"Should probably leave her a way to contact us," Donatello considered. 

My eyes shifted to Raphael as he slammed the now fully conscious man to the wall again. He cried out in pain. "Look, I told you I don't _know _anything!" he cried.

"Hmm," Raph mumbled. "Looks to me like you got a couplea cracked ribs. That must _really _hurt."

Raphael twirled his sai and pressed the blunt end to the young man's chest. "Wonder what would happen if I just..."

He pushed slightly and the man cried out in pain. "Oh, that doesn't feel too good does it?" Raph taunted. "Maybe you wanna tell me where he took her."

"And why," Leo added coldly.

His eyes darted back and forth between all of us. "I... I dunno why he wanted her," he stammered. Raph jabbed again and he nearly screamed. "I swear! I don't! Why would he tell me that?"

"Where?" Leo demanded.

"There's a dojo on the east end called Apprentice Arts. He's been staying there."

I exchanged glances with Donny, who was closest to me. "Think we got time?" I questioned.

"Depends on what he wanted," Don answered. "Though I think if he just wanted to kill her, he would've done it here."

"So what do we do with _him_?" I gestured, directing that question at Leo. He was standing near the window, deep in thought. For a moment, I wondered if he'd even heard me. 

Finally, he looked up at Raph, then over at the foot soldier pressed against the wall. "Let him go."

"But we still don't know what he wanted with Anna," Raph protested.

"Let him go," Leonardo said again. "Shredder's already got her; he's harmless."

"But what about...?"

"I'm not going to waste time arguing with you, Raphael," Leonardo snapped, an angry tone tainting his voice. "And I'm not going to waste time interrogating somebody who knows nothing."

I stared at him for a minute, not sure I wanted to get involved. "Um, Leo?" Don started. "When he's standing there with a knife to her throat, threatening us to act, we need to know if he'd kill her or not."

"When has Shredder _not _been willing to kill?" Leo sighed, sounding tired of this argument.

"I'm just saying, if we don't know what he wants with her..."

"I know what he wants," Leo mumbled.

Raph let go of the foot soldier and took a step back, his eyes trained on Leo. "How would he know that?" he demanded. He and Leo were on the same page, but I had no idea what they were talking about. "And if he _did _know, why wouldn't he take her sooner? She's been in the goddamn orphanage since she was _six_! Why now?"

I stared at them, lost. "What?"

"I don't know, Raph," Leo answered coldly, ignoring me. "Why don't you go ask Splinter?"

That was a threat. I didn't understand it, but I knew it was a threat. One that Raph didn't have a comeback for. He breathed deep, closing his eyes. Then he shoved his _sais_ back into his belt. "No, Leo," he growled, opening his eyes. "I already know what I believe. _You're _the one who needs to talk to Splinter." The cold intensity in his voice sent a chill through me. He glared at Leonardo, his gaze unwavering. "But you better do it fast 'cause if you're right and Shredder _does _know, there's no doubt in my mind that he'll kill her."

****

DONATELLO:

"How does he know about Anna?" Leonardo demanded.

Master Splinter sighed. "You are asking a question I cannot answer."

I leaned on the back of the couch and watched with growing fascination. The walk home had been... confusing. Leo took off out the window, Raph went the opposite direction, and Mike and I stared at each other in wide-eyed confusion, trying to figure out what we'd missed. Splinter had been mentioned, and we figured he must know something. But when we got here, we'd walked right into the middle of an argument. 

"If you knew she was in danger, why didn't you say anything?" Leonardo asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

"To the best of my knowledge, she was not in any danger."

"Hey," Michaelangelo cut in. We all looked to him. "I don't mean to interrupt, but does somebody wanna tell me why I just got my ass kicked by Shredder and a couplea foot soldiers? What did they _want_?"

Leo and Splinter looked at each other. There was a long silence. "Tell him," Leonardo finally ordered. I was shocked by his tone. I don't think I _ever _heard Leo talk to Splinter with that kind of disrespect. "Tell all of us. Tell us about Sakura."

Sakura. I didn't recognize the name, and didn't have a clue what it had to do with Anna. But I knew better than to ask questions. Mike didn't. "Who's Sakura?" he questioned.

Splinter sighed. I glanced over my shoulder as a familiar presence entered the room. Raphael walked to the opposite end of the couch and leaned on the arm rest, watching _Sensei_ in the long silence that followed. "I met Sakura almost immediately after coming to the states," Splinter finally began, staring directly at Leonardo. "She had come over here from Japan because she had married an American soldier. He brought her to New York, and later divorced her. He threw her out on the streets, and she had nothing."

I rested my chin in my palms, amused by this new information. Splinter rarely offered any details of his life before our transformation. "She was attacked in an alley, and I happened to see her as I was going to get food. She and I were both wounded, and I brought her back with me to the lair." 

Mike and I exchanged glances. Raphael and Leonardo both watched Splinter intently, as if they were scrutinizing every word. "It was first agreed that she would stay only until we were healed, as she did not wish to accept charity. However, she decided to stay even afterward, accepting the help as from one friend to another. In return for shelter, she taught me English - a great deal of the language if not fluency - and urged me to pay attention to television and radio. She also taught me to write this language, and to read it. Her English skills were impeccable, and she was an incredibly creative writer. 

Her talents earned her scholarship money to a school in California, and I urged her to go. She agreed, and she left."

"And during this time that she lived with you, she had a child," Raphael assumed. I glanced at him. He obviously knew more of this story than I did.

Splinter shook his head slowly. "No, the child was only conceived. She left for California in the earliest stages of her pregnancy."

I felt my eyes widen. Mikey nearly fell off the back of the couch. "What!"

"How long was she gone?" Raphael demanded, unaffected by the confession. My mind was reeling. Suddenly, I had a feeling I knew where he was going with this, but I had no idea how the pieces fit.

"She lived in California for more than five years," Splinter sighed. "It was more than two years after she left that we were mutated. When she returned, I hid myself, and you, from her discovery."

"Why?" Leonardo asked. The same question had sprung to my mind, but I was still unable to talk.

Splinter's eyes fell and a look of sadness came over his face. "For many reasons, Leonardo," he whispered. "Many of the same reasons I raised you the way that I did."

_I knew the outside world would consider them freaks, so I trained them in the ancient art of ninjutsu_... The words came back to me in a rush, and I caught my breath, shocked by what he was saying. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Raphael stiffen. "You considered yourself a freak," he accused. I stared at him, realizing what that said for _us_.

Splinter sighed. "You must understand, Raphael. I was not always like this."

His words cut deeply, though I couldn't totally explain why. I was suddenly filled with a deep sense of betrayal. He didn't even try to deny it. I glanced at Mike, and saw a hurt expression on his face, which I'm sure mirrored my own. "Do you still feel that way?" he whispered. He sounded like his voice could crack if he spoke too loudly.

Splinter looked up at him. "Michaelangelo, time changes a great deal of things."

"Do you?" Leo challenged, realizing that the question was not answered.

Splinter sighed deeply. "Leonardo, from the time you found out who I used to be, from the time you were eight years old until you were fifteen, you made it your life's work to find a way to restore me to my human form. You nearly succeeded once. Do you remember that?"

I thought for a moment. "Shredder had a retromutagen ray," Leo remembered. "It undid mutations. We went to go get it."

"And do you remember what _happened_ to Shredder's retromutagen ray?" he questioned.

"You destroyed it," I whispered, remembering. "When he was going to use it on us."

Splinter paused for a moment to let that sink in. "Do you not think that I could have gotten that device away from my enemy if I had only allowed you all to be sacrificed?"

That was a rhetorical question. Of course he could have. We were probably the only weakness Splinter _had._ "I made a choice that day," Splinter continued quietly. "And I chose, knowingly, to spend the rest of my days as your _sensei_, here in these sewers. I have accepted that decision, and I cherish it more than all my memories of Hamato Yoshi's life. I would have it no other way."

I considered that for a moment. "You still didn't answer the question," Raphael pointed out.

"I would not have chosen to be something that I appalled."

I sighed deeply, knowing now that he _wouldn't _answer it. Not when he knew his words would cause us pain. He was a freak, but he accepted that life, and enjoyed it for what it was worth. In that way, he was not unlike myself, when I realized that I could never be a part of society. Though the term itself was an insult, in its purest form it was truth. That was, perhaps, why it hurt so much. But that didn't mean I regretted my life, or that I would change anything about it if I had the opportunity.

"How did Sakura die?" Raphael questioned.

Sakura. My mind was drawn back to the original conversation. Splinter didn't answer the question.

"Surely you know," Leo continued, almost mockingly. "How did Anna end up in the hospital?"

Splinter sighed deeply and bowed his head. "When Sakura came back to New York with her daughter, she searched for me. She most likely recognized the differences in the lair an assumed that I still lived there, but thought that I had gone elsewhere to escape the winter cold. She searched the city looking for me."

"And you watched her go through all that?" I asked, slightly surprised.

"No," he sighed. "But I heard of it. She was a successful businesswoman upon her return and had offered a substantial reward for information about me."

"How substantial?" Raph questioned.

"It was large enough to attract the attention of the news media."

I considered that for a moment. She must have been _very _successful in her business. He hesitated a moment before continuing. "At one point during her search, she came into contact with a man whom I trust gave her a name other than his own. She surely would have recognized him if he had been honest."

"Saki?" Leo guessed.

He nodded. I cringed as the pieces started to come together. A woman on television proclaiming Hamato Yoshi's name would attract Shredder's interest in a heartbeat. "He found out that our relationship ran deeper than what she was telling the news media, and that her child was, in fact, mine."

He stopped. The force of his words hit me like a Mack truck. Of course, I'd already figured that out. But to hear him actually say it, flat out, was almost too much to handle. "So he killed her," Leonardo assumed when he didn't continue. Splinter nodded. 

"Why didn't he kill Anna?" Raph demanded.

"Anna's your daughter..." Michaelangelo whispered quietly.

"He slit her throat," Splinter explained, ignoring Mike if he'd even heard him. "In my presence. I fought with Saki, and took the child to a pay phone, where I called for an ambulance. She somehow survived."

Leo sighed deeply. "And the traumatic experience caused her to lose large portions of her memory."

"It wasn't difficult for police to identify Sakura," Splinter continued. "And from there, they identified her daughter, Kioko." I blinked as several thoughts hit me at once. Not Anna? Kioko was the name of the victims he'd been targeting. "She had no traceable family or friends. When she woke up, she remembered nothing. Her doctors tried to recall her memory, then decided to let her shape her past as she saw fit. That was the last the news media said of her. Years later, I discover that she named herself Anna, and grew up in an orphanage."

The final pieces fell into place and I stared blankly at Splinter. Leo hid his face in his hands. "Anna Palmer isn't even her real name," he realized.

"No," Splinter agreed. "Her real name is Tanaka Kioko."

"And you knew her when you saw her."

He nodded. "I did."

"You drew that map for Sakura, and she gave it to her daughter," I mumbled. "That was how Anna found us."

Splinter nodded. "Why didn't you tell her?" Leonardo demanded. "I mean, not telling _me _is one thing. But how can you look your daughter in the eye and not tell her who you are?"

He sighed, and didn't answer. "For the same reason you didn't tell Sakura?" Raph asked cynically. I cringed, dreading the answer.

Splinter shook his head. "No. Not at all."

"Then why?" Leo pressed, anger tainting his voice.

He didn't answer for a long time. "Leonardo, what I did not tell you was for your protection and hers. You must understand that."

"I don't need you to protect me, dammit!" Leonardo yelled, springing to his feet. I jumped back, shocked. Next to me, Mike suddenly had a death grip on the back of the sofa, which he was sitting on. Raphael's eyes shifted to Leo, but his emotionless expression didn't change. "All Iwant from you is the truth!" Leo cried.

"The Shredder had no idea who Hamato Yoshi's daughter was or _if _she was still alive," Splinter snapped back at him, using that authoritative tone that had always made me cower as a child. "And I would have preferred to _keep _it that way, seeing as Anna Palmer's life as she knows it is now in danger. Surely you can see the correlation, Leonardo."

He was not angry, but the intensity of his voice suggested that he may be on the threshold of such emotion. Leo backed down and let him continue. "Has your anger so clouded your thinking that you have not considered the danger that she could face if she _remembers _that she is Tanaka Kioko, Hamato Yoshi's offspring?" Splinter continued. "Do you not think that I had _reason _for allowing her to grow up in an orphanage, instead of raising her myself? She was safer as Anna Palmer than she would _ever _have been under my care. Because as my daughter, she faces the same dangers you do as my students. And Oroku Saki would not have failed to promptly _kill _her if he knew who she was."

"But he _does _know!" Leonardo yelled back.

"Then it is your responsibility to find out how he..."

"_My _responsibility!" Leo interrupted. "She's _your _goddamn daughter!"

I felt like I'd stepped into the twilight zone. Even Raph had never had the balls to raise his voice at Master Splinter. But to hear those words coming out of Leo's mouth was like watching a movie. It didn't feel real.

"Hey! Leo!" We looked to Raph. His arms were crossed over his plastron, that same emotionless expression on his face. "Look, we can argue about it or we can go find her. But the fact of the matter is that it's probably gonna hurt you a hell of a lot more than it's gonna hurt Splinter if she doesn't live through this so _you _better _take _responsibility for her."

My jaw dropped. Reverse psychology. He was using goddamn reverse psychology on Master Splinter! Did he even _realize _what he'd just said? Splinter looked stunned, and it wasn't hard to figure out why. I suddenly realized how much deeper this went than either of them knew. They were turning on him. They were turning him into the enemy.

"Woah, _wait_!" I interrupted, finding a hidden boldness, spawned from anger, that I didn't know I had. "This is _wrong_! What the hell are we going to accomplish by sitting here and...?"

"Who the _fuck _asked you, Donny?" Raphael demanded, cutting me off.

"How _dare _you!" I continued, undeterred. I could feel the anger growing inside of me as I considered just how deep this issue ran. "You wouldn't even _be _here if not for Splinter!"

Leo was slightly calmer than Raph. "Don, that's not what we're..."

"We spend our whole _lives _running after Shredder, Oroku Saki, Splinter's best student who turned on him for god-knows-what reason, and now you've got the _audacity_ to stand here and do the same damn thing as the man you call your enemy? And over a _woman_?"

I hit a nerve. I didn't mean to. It wasn't really supposed to come out that way, but it did. I knew that Anna was more than just a woman to Leo. Moreover, I knew what an insult it was to his integrity to accuse him of turning against his _sensei_. But from where I was standing, it didn't look like much of an exaggeration.

It took about a half-second for Leonardo to move, and another half for me to get ready. But he never got to me. He took two steps and ended up on his back. His weapons clattered to the ground as his wrists were attacked, and by the time he had a chance to open his eyes, the tip of Master Splinter's walking stick was at his throat. Raphael tensed and I wondered for a brief moment if he would dare to attack. He didn't. Whether out of respect or the knowledge that Splinter could kick his ass, I wasn't sure.

"This. Stops. Now," Splinter growled, still as a statue. "You will _not _behave this way in my presence."

Leonardo didn't have much of a choice. Splinter wouldn't kill him; we all knew that. But he wouldn't hesitate to cause some pain if he wasn't obeyed. They remained still. I couldn't see Splinter, but I saw the angry look on Leonardo's face slowly fade. It didn't totally go away, but he closed his eyes and relaxed, submitting reluctantly. I expected Splinter to pull away, but he didn't. "Do you know why you are angry, Leonardo?" he finally asked.

Leo's eyes remained closed. "You weren't honest," he whispered. "With me or with her. Possibly not even with yourself."

Splinter didn't move. "No, Leonardo. That is not the reason. You are angry because I made a decision, fourteen years ago, which was dishonest even though it was made with the best intentions. I did not lie to you, nor to Anna, nor to myself. And you know this. You were deceived because I lied to Sakura, in hiding from her. And this I did because I am not perfect."

He pulled the weapon from Leonardo's neck, and Leo opened his eyes slowly. "And if you cannot forgive me," Splinter continued, "for a sin committed more than a decade ago, which was never intended to hurt anyone to begin with..." They stared at each other intently as Splinter paused for a moment. "...then you are neither my student nor the child that I raised."

Without another word, Splinter turned and left the room.


	49. Between the Graves

****

BETWEEN THE GRAVES

April, 1983

DONATELLO: 

"Where's Master Splinter?"

Leonardo looked up from the book he was thumbing through. "I don't know. He left about an hour ago."

"Yeah, he didn't say where he was going," Mike added, watching the TV screen.

"Has he been acting weird lately, or is it just me?" Raphael mumbled, coming out of the kitchen.

Leonardo glared at him and the sandwich in his hand. "You shouldn't be eating right now," he lectured. "It's almost dinnertime."

"Yeah, so what?" Raph shot back. "Last night _Sensei_ didn't even come home, 'member?"

I frowned at that. "Yes he did. He was just late."

"Hey, he gets pissed off at us for leaving the lair, and he goes and takes off for the whole day?" Raph challenged. "That's jacked up."

"Watch your mouth," Leo warned.

Raph stuck out his tongue at him. "Make me."

"I'll tell Master Splinter," he threatened.

"Master Splinter ain't here," Raph reminded. "And you ain't the boss of me anyhow so mind your own business."

I sighed and turned away, leaving them to their argument. I wouldn't be surprised if _Sensei _left to get away from the noise. But Raphael was right. He _had _been acting strange lately. It had been a long time since he'd been so distracted and distant. I hoped he was okay.

****

SPLINTER:

Darkness fell over the yard like a thick blanket, comforting the shadowed gravemarkers that stood against the rain. I watched a couple under an umbrella turn and leave, and I knew I was alone. I slid from the tree and walked to the grave. Memories flooded to my mind as I knelt and placed a single rose near the headstone. It seemed so long ago...

I felt a presence nearby. A chill swept through my body, and I tensed instinctively as I rose and turned. There was no one behind me. At least, there was no one visible to the naked eye. Tilting my head back slightly, I smelled the air, and noted the faint scent of a human's presence. I reached for the _sais _at my waist and drew them slowly. Nothing moved. I faced a tall gravestone, fully prepared for a battle.

At length, he stepped out from behind it. "I am impressed, Yoshi," he laughed. "Your instincts are still as sharp as ever."

I flinched at the name, and at his arrogant tone. He was dressed as he had been the last time I saw him, when he had ended the life that I now mourned. "Why the costume?" I glared.

He swept his cape aside and bowed low in a very un-Japanese manner. "You may call me Master Shredder if you wish. All of my students do."

I glared at him, unaffected by the insinuation. "I am not your student, Saki," I growled.

"No," he agreed, his eyes narrowing to slits. "You are not."

He reached to his belt and flung a handful of _shurieken _in my direction. I jumped aside, avoiding some and blocking the others with the _sais_. He reached for his _katana_, which I realized was strapped to his back, underneath the cape. I braced at he lunged at me.

He attacked from the side first, and I caught his weapon between the prongs of my own. He spun to the side as I lunged forward, and brought the sword up and around. Metal clashed against metal as I caught it a second time, and jumped back. He kicked forward, and held the sword behind him as he lashed out with his fist. I stepped aside and my weapon sparked against the metal on the back of his wrist. He swept at my feet and I jumped to avoid his attack. 

His form varied from what I had taught him, years ago. He had received instruction elsewhere since I had left Japan. This could not be new, I realized. I had fought with him less than two years ago, and he had surely not changed since then. But now I was not nearly so blinded by anger as I was on that night.

I threw the _sai _and caught the base of the _katana_ between its prongs. Momentarily stunned, his grip loosened. I lept forward and hit the inside of his wrist, lashing out with my foot at the same time. The sword fell, and he jumped back to avoid a sweeping kick aimed at his shins. I grabbed the sword and rose.

He appeared disarmed, and no doubt expecting me to drop my weapons. But I did not. I struck forward and was not surprised when he reached behind him and pulled out a second, shorter sword. He was counting on my surprise, and attacked simply. I caught his weapon with the _sai_, and attacked his hand with the _katana_. At the base of his palm, the sword made contact with skin and cut deeply. His sword fell, and I jumped and kicked him.

He fell on his back, and attempted to catch himself on his arms. The cut on his hand was deep, and blood ran from it, pooling on the ground. He glanced at it quickly, then at me. A hint of fear flashed across his features as he looked up at me. I held the sword to the side of his neck. With very little effort, I could behead him. "Tell me, Oroku Saki," I growled. "Will you die satisfied with your life? And with what you have become?"

He took a few shallow breaths, not moving. 

"Master Splinter?"

Shock radiated through me at the sound of the child's voice. It took very little time to figure out where and who it was coming from, but how he had gotten here was unknown to me. He stood ten feet away, his eyes wide with horror. Saki turned his head slowly, careful not to press against the sword. I watched him closely for any sign of a threat.

His eyes fell to the figure nearby, and he laughed. "Master Splinter?" he taunted. "Is this the student who will someday defeat me?" I did not answer and he laughed harder. "How fitting that he be a freak like yourself!"

Leonardo flinched, and a hurt expression crossed his face. He looked from Saki to me. "_Sensei_, who is he?" he asked, adopting the language Saki had chosen to use. The man stopped laughing as he heard the foreign tongue.

"Leonardo, you should not be here," I chastized, my eyes fixed on my enemy.

The child hung his head. "_Hai, Sensei. _I know."

This was neither the time nor place to find out why and how he had come. He stood frozen in place, not daring to come closer. Saki's eyes closed slowly. He was weakening from the loss of blood. My thoughts rested on him for a moment longer. I could end his life now, and be rid of him after wanting such a thing for so long. But in the presence of my fostered son, it was suddenly so much more difficult.

"Are you going to kill him, _Sensei_?" Leonardo asked quietly. I could tell by his voice that he was horrified at the idea. 

Saki's eyes turned to me again, and I could almost see him smile behind the metal faceplate. "Kill me, Yoshi," he invited. "Go ahead. You could always explain later. Ten years from now, perhaps, when he's old enough to understand revenge."

"Justice is not revenge," I corrected him. "You have shed innocent blood, and for that you deserve to die."

His eyes narrowed into slits. "You will not kill me," he whispered. The words resonated inside his mask. "Your years have made you weak and unwilling to sacrifice. Leave me now, and you will not hear from me again."

"That will not bring them back," I growled.

"Nor will killing me."

Leonardo approached cautiously and stood behind me. "_Sensei_, I want to go home."

Saki's eyes closed again, and his body relaxed as consciousness drained from his body. Beyond trees and gravemarkers, I could feel dark figures move. His students. His clan. They watched me carefully, but did not attack, and I knew that they were only here to help him to safety. I looked back down at the figure again and felt anger flare up inside of me one last time. Then I dropped the sword at his feet, picked up my other _sai_, and circled my arm around Leonardo's shoulders as we walked away.

****

LEONARDO:

"Are you angry with me, _Sensei_?"

He took a long time to answer. "You know that it is against the rules for you to leave the lair."

I hung my head, staring at the dark ground as it passed under our feet. "I know. But I was worried about you. You've been gone a long time."

He was quiet again. I knew better than to say anything. "You could have been hurt, Leonardo. The rules are only there for your safety."

I sighed deeply. "I know."

He turned to face me as we continued through the sewer tunnels, and I shrank back instinctively. I knew it was against the rules to wander away from the lair. Especially alone, and _especially _up to the surface. 

"How did you know where to find me?" he asked.

I looked away, hanging my head again. I was going to get in even more trouble now that he asked me that. "I knew where you would be," he whispered. "It's where you always go when you're sad."

"How do you know that?"

I cringed. "I... uh... followed you before. A couplea times."

He didn't answer. I looked up at him. "I'm sorry, _Sensei_."

He sighed deeply. "Yes," he whispered, as if his mind were on other things. I wasn't sure he'd even heard me from the faraway look in his eyes. "So am I."


	50. Battle

****

BATTLE

December 25, 1995

****

ANNA:

I awoke slowly, confused and cold. A breeze swept past me as the world came into focus. I was in a dark room, strapped to a chair. My hands were clamped to the armrests, as if I were to be electrocuted. I shifted uncomfortably and strained to see in the thick blackness. "Ah, Miss Anna." I jumped, surprised, as the shadows moved. "You're awake."

"What do you want?" I demanded, jerking against the clamps on my arms.

"I can take those off if you would like, but I would advise against any attempt to run."

I looked around the room. Black-clad figures stood at the exits, their arms crossed ceremoneously over their chests. I looked down at myself and realized that I, too, was dressed in black. Though my attire was much more formal than theirs. It was a long, black, sequined dress that fell all the way to the floor. As I became more aware of myself, I realized that my hair had been pulled up as well.

"You undressed me," I accused.

"I did," he admitted with a smirk.

"Without my permission," I snapped, emphasizing my point.

"I could have done much more, _Miss _Anna," he smiled. "And still can. I'd mind my manners if I were you."

I fell silent, and watched him for a moment. "So you're Shredder," I mumbled. "The one who killed all of those children."

"Yes," he answered.

I remembered Donny's argument as I stared at his dark eyes. "Why not just go yourself?" I demanded. 

He studied me carefully, seemingly amused by that. "It would have raised more questions than a terrorist bombing," he explained simply. "And I did not want to risk a confrontation with Hamato Yoshi's damned turtles."

"They'll come for me, you know," I growled. "So you damn well better be ready to fight now!"

He laughed quietly and leaned close to me. "My dear child, I am _counting _on that."

****

LEONARDO:

"This place is big," I whispered, braced and ready for an attack from any angle. "We'll have to split up. Anybody finds anything, SOS on your communicator and we'll track you."

They nodded silently and motioned down different hallways. This was not the first time we had been inside the Technodrome, and I knew to expect the unexpected.

I walked through the hallway, and found myself in a large room. I looked around carefully before stepping inside. I did not recognize this room, but it was safe for the moment. 

I felt a presence at the same instant that the door shut behind me, and I spun around. A man stood at the door, dressed in a black _dogi_. He would have appeared to be one of Shredder's foot soldiers, except that his face was uncovered. He was a Japanese, but far too young to be Saki. "Who are you?" I demanded.

"My name is Kentaro," he greeted, bowing politely. From his mannerism, I might have guessed him harmless. But he held a spear beside him, and I knew that he was an enemy.

"Where is the girl he took?" I demanded.

He laughed quietly. "You mean Anna?"

I glared at him. Who _else _could I mean? "Where?" I growled.

He shrugged. "Perhaps she is dead. I have not seen her recently."

He would be useless to me for information. That meant he only stood in my way. I attacked him calmly, knowing that his insinuation meant nothing. He blocked my downward strike and spun his weapon, attempting to hit me from the side. I backed out of the way and struck toward him. He caught the attack, and with one smooth movement, he swept at my feet.

I stumbled backward, surprised. He'd nearly caught me off guard. He was better trained than most of Shredder's students. I braced again, but he did not attack. He watched me, and smiled. "So you are Leonardo," he grinned. I stared back, tensing slightly. How did he know my name? "Oh, the things I have heard about you."

"What things?" I demanded.

He attacked me again. I spun out of the way, riding his weapon away from mine. He turned it to use the other edge. He was fast. I reached for the other sword strapped to my back, and managed to block the attack with little room to spare. I crossed my swords and locked his weapon between mine.

"You are so like him," he taunted, inches in front of me. "And yet so different."

"In what way?" I growled, pushing him back.

He laughed as he regained his footing. "Do you know why your _sensei_ has shaped you the way he has?"

Warning signals flashed in my mind as he prodded at my weakest point. A few days ago, the question may not have bothered me in the least. But this time, it raised a whole new set of questions that I did not want to face. I lashed out at him, hoping to prevent the continuation of that thought.

He had the advantage, and I knew it. He spun and I blocked what I knew was a distraction, aimed at my neck. Sure enough, he struck at my legs, then at my arm. I jumped back in time to stabilize my balance, but I could avoid the sharp tip of the spear. I felt it scrape my arm, and blood ran. 

"You are a replacement, Leonardo," he whispered. "Do you know that?"

I spun and delivered a roundhouse kick in his direction. He blocked my foot with his weapon and I was forced to recoil. "The perfect student," he taunted, sweeping at my other leg. "The perfect son."

I jumped and regained my balance just in time to bring my weapons up defensively and ride his into the air, over my shoulder. I kicked forward, and he jumped back. "You are everything that Saki was to him, and that is all he has ever cared about."

"You speak of things you know nothing about," I replied, anger boiling inside of me.

"Or perhaps it is _you _who does not know," he suggested with a smile. "How well do you know him? Do you think he would be equally as pleased with you if you did not live up to his expectations? Or is your very worth dependent upon your performance."

I lowered my head, feeling fury course through me. "Go to hell," I snarled.

I attacked one last time, diverting his attention with an elequent move by one hand, raising the other to its target. He didn't have time to realize his mistake. He dropped to the floor, his weapon clattering against the tile loudly. I stood still, breathing hard. It was more out of anger than exhaustion. I had barely broken a sweat. He did not move as blood pooled around him, and I paused for a moment, out of respect. I did not know his story, or for what reason he had chosen to follow my enemy. But there was always a chance that he thought he was doing what was right. It was for that reason that I always hesitated to kill, though most times it was much easier to do so than to render an opponent unconscious. After all, we were _ninjas_. And as such, we were trained to kill... and to respect death with deep reverence.

"He's right, you know."

I spun, weapons crossed in front of me. The dark figure in the doorway stood ready, a set of _nunchakus _in his hands. My hand slipped to my waist and I pressed the tiny button on my communicator, never taking my eyes off the enemy. I braced for battle, and glared at him. "About what?"

He smiled. "About you. About your purpose, as far as Hamato Yoshi is concerned."

"What the hell do you know about Hamato Yoshi?" I challenged. "All you ever saw was his leadership position. The position you wanted."

Shredder laughed. "Is that what he tells you?" he chuckled. "You are sorely mistaken, Leonardo."

Behind him, two of his students walked into the room. Between them, Anna struggled. I forced myself to ignore her. "In what way?" I growled. I was stalling for time, well aware that my brothers would be here shortly.

"I was his _son_, freak," Shredder smirked. 

"Bull shit."

He laughed. "Not biologically, of course. But he _raised _me. Did he never tell you that?"

"Leo! Help me!"

Too many thoughts hit me all at once. I was glad he was a good distance away. I never would've been able to defend myself if he'd been any closer to me. I could barely collect my thoughts fast enough as it stood. I blocked his side strike and spun away, trying to gain some room to move. He lashed out again and I blocked him, then watched as he took a step back and stood ready. I could feel the familiar presence of my brothers behind me, and I knew that was the only reason why he had stopped.

"Go ahead, can-head," Michaelangelo growled, stepping up beside me. "You're gonna take on all four of us?"

"Yes," Shredder glared back. "I am more than enough," he growled.

I stared at him for a moment. "Why?" I demanded. "Why set this up like this? Why do you want to fight with us so bad? You know you're no match for all four of us."

"Who the hell cares why, Leo," Raph snarled, his eyes fixed on his enemy. "Let's just kick his ass."

"No," I protested. I had to know the reason. I knew there _was _a reason.

"Anna's more important," Don mumbled. He turned to Shredder. "You wanna fight us? Let her go."

"Ah yes," Shredder sighed. "She _is _more important, isn't she?" He walked behind her and the foot soldiers stepped back as he ran his claws over her shoulder. "Hamato Yoshi's daughter."

"How do you know that?" I demanded.

"That must make her... your sister?" Shredder taunted. He laughed, his eyes fixed on me. "Are we trying for incest as well as beastiality?"

I clenched my teeth in anger. "Fuck you," Raphael growled, though the insult was directed at me.

Shredder watched me. "Take her," he ordered his students. "Kill her."

"No!" she cried, struggling.

I flinched. Shredder smiled at us. "_You _stay," he ordered, pointing at me with his sword. "The rest of you can leave."

"Like _hell_," Raphael growled. 

"Did you come here for Anna or did you come here for me?" Shredder demanded. His eyes were still trained on me, although it seemed like he was speaking to Raphael. "There are more than three hundred foot soldiers in this complex. More than fifty of them are right outside this room; far too many for only one of you to handle and more than enough to kill your girlfriend." I felt my chest heave as I breathed hard, anger clouding my eyes. "An acid test, freak. Let us see if you are more interested saving her life or guaranteeing your own."

I knew now why he was watching me. He was making it my choice. Fifty foot soldiers. The three of them could handle that. The real question was if I could handle Oroku Saki on my own. "Leave," I whispered to Raphael. "Get Anna out of here."

****

ANNA:

Raphael ran at us and I turned away, shielding myself instinctively. I hadn't had a chance to look up again when I felt him grab my arm and jerk me back. I gasped, nearly falling on my face as he pulled me behind him roughly. Mike and Don formed a half-circle around me and I stood still. Oh, god. Were they going to fight _all _of these men? Where was Leo?

They stood, unmoving, as the _ninjas _seemed to form ranks. A handful of them were already on the floor, from the initial attack. But then the Turtles had backed off. Perhaps they were as intimidated by the crowd as I was. "There's too many of them, Raph," Donatello whispered. His words were barely audible even to me. I knew the men did not hear him.

"We have no choice," Mike answered. "We don't know any other way out."

"And Shredder knows it," Raphael growled. "He'll have every fucking exit guarded just as heavily."

"You really think we can take them all?" Mike whispered.

"Try and surround them," Raph whispered. "Go up the sides. Anna, stay by me." I swallowed hard. "Go!"

The confusion was immense. I didn't know where we were going. Through human flesh and sparking wires, he cut his way through the crowd. I shielded my face instinctively, and tried to stay near to him. It seemed the largest room I had ever been through.

The fighting slowed, and we all met up again, closer to the exit. "Get her out," Raph ordered. "I'll take care of these guys."

There were almost a dozen men or robots or whatever-the-hell-they-were still standing. Mike and Don exchanged glances, then spun. Michaelangelo grabbed my arm and dragged me behind him. I could barely keep up as we ran through the hallways.

"Do you know where you're going?" I cried.

He didn't answer.

Another row of foot soldiers met us at the door. My heart jumped into my throat again as Donatello sprang forward. Mikey glanced over his shoulder, probably to make sure we weren't being followed, then attacked alongside his brother. I couldn't tell what was happening, really. It was all too fast for my eyes to follow. But I did see that we were winning. In less than a minute, we were running again.

****

SHREDDER:

"What is it, Leonardo, that you want most of all?" I questioned.

"So you actually know my name," he growled back, ignoring the question.

I smiled. "I know more about you than you would think. More, perhaps, than you know about yourself." 

He didn't flinch. "Why are we talking?" he demanded.

"Do you know how many loyal students Hamato Yoshi has remaining in the foot clan?" he asked. "Can you guess?" He didn't answer. I lowered my weapon and circled him at a distance. "None," I whispered in answer. "Do you know why?"

"You _killed _them all?" he replied sarcastically.

I ignored him. "Sheep without a shepherd are lost," I reminded him. "When he fled, when he _abandoned _them..."

"You betrayed him," he growled. "Don't even _try _to play this game."

"Are you _sure_?"

He attacked without warning and our weapons remained locked as we stared each other down. "I am _not _interested in having this conversation with you, Saki," he growled.

I pushed him back, uncomfortable with him being so close. He stood ready, braced defensively. "Are we going to fight?" he whispered. "Or are you going to let me go?"

I studied him for a moment. "I don't want to have to kill you," I informed him. "It would be a shame to see such talent go to waste."

"Don't back down on _my _account, Shredder," he answered.

I glared at him. "I want more from you than your blood."

"You'll never get anything from me."

"I can give you the world."

"And I can give you a concussion."

"I'm only asking you to think about it."

"And I'm telling you no."

I sighed. "I don't want to fight you," I informed. "I only want to open your eyes."

"Why did you kill all those people?" Leonardo demanded. "Trying to find Anna. And then you expect me to believe you're just going to let her go?"

"She knows nothing."

"Of _what_?" he snapped. "You didn't even check to _see _if they knew anything. You just killed them all."

I smiled. "Why, do you think?"

"_You _tell _me_."

"No. If you can not discover it for yourself, you need not know."

He glared at me. "It's all a game to you, isn't it?" he whispered.

I smiled. "Life _itself _is little more than a game." He didn't move. "Oh, come on now, freak," I grinned. "There will be other times. Just think it over."

"No."

He attacked forcefully and I barely managed to avoid his downward cut. I stepped back and braced, gripping the handles of the _nunchaku_. I attacked his wrists, but he avoided the blows easily. His weapons crossed defensively as he sprang forward, and separated as he spun and kicked. I jumped back to avoid the attack and swung at him again. He had not fully regained his balance and the attempt to block the _nunchaku_ was a feeble one. His grip was too loose around the handle of the _katana_ and it slipped from his hand. He watched it fall and clatter across the tile floor, then snapped his head up, staring at me intently. 

His eyes showed no fear, even though he had been disarmed and his weapon now rested nearer to me than to him. He stood ready, braced for hand to hand combat and caring nothing for the disadvantage he was at. I met his gaze with equal intensity. "I do not wish to kill you," I reminded him. "Leave now."

"Why?" he demanded, distrustful.

I glared at him. "Even as your _sensei's _best student, you are no match for me. You are not the one I want."

****

ANNA:

We were underground. I saw this as we left the "building" and I found myself enclosed in a huge cavern. Mike dragged me to the far wall, yanking me back to my feet every time that I tripped, and through a small entrance. Then we stopped. I doubled over and leaned against the wall, trying to catch my breath. We were in the sewers. At least, I _thought _we were.

"What do we do now?" I gasped.

"We wait," Don answered. "We're not leaving until Raph and Leo come out of there."

I was relieved by that answer, and frightened at the same time. Part of me wanted to run as far and as fast as I could from this place. I slid to the ground and rested my forehead on my knees, trembling. "Are you know?" Michaelangelo questioned, the concern evident in his voice.

I nodded, still breathing heavily. "I think so."

I had a terrible stitch in my side, but other than that, I was unharmed. "There's Raph," Donny mumbled, pointing.

I looked up and saw Raphael run out of the complex. Mike brushed my hair back and I glanced at him. "You sure you're alright?"

I stopped breathing for long enough to swallow and nodded again. "He just... talked to me. He didn't hurt me or anything."

"What'd he say?"

I shook my head. I didn't want to talk right now, and I wasn't sure I could find the breath. It didn't seem to me that he'd said anything of importance, anyway. We waited in silence until out of nowhere, Mike sprang to his feet and bolted. I looked up, startled, and saw him run to Leonardo, and his other brothers. "God, what happened!"

Leo pushed them all away forcefully. "Nothing," he said coldly. "Let's get the hell out of here."

His brothers all recoiled at his tone. I shrank back as he walked up to me and stared for a moment, burning hurt and anger in his eyes, then continued on without a word.


	51. Mental Warfare

****

MENTAL WARFARE

December 27, 1995

LEONARDO:

I returned to the lair silently, fully expecting an outburst from one or all of my brothers. They all turned, but said nothing as I closed the door behind me. Even Raph didn't try to lecture me, although I knew I would deserve it if he did. I had not even called in the two days I had been gone, hiding inside myself and away from everyone I knew. 

"Where's Master Splinter?" I asked plainly.

They looked at each other. "His room," Don finally answered.

"Is he pissed off at me?"

They all shook their heads, but none of them interrupted the tense silence. I turned away and walked to the cracked open door. I knocked quietly, and stepped inside the room as he called back. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, watching me as I entered.

"Is there anything else I need to know?" I demanded.

He said nothing for a few moments, his gaze steady on mine. "There is much I could tell you, Leonardo," he informed me. "What do you wish to know?"

"Tell me about Saki," I ordered, still standing in the open door. "Tell me everything and tell me honestly." 

I walked to him, noting the way his body tensed at the suggestion. When I reached him, I dropped to my knees on the floor. "Whatever you say," I said quietly, "I will believe you."

He studied me for a moment. "Oroku Saki was my best student," he explained. "He studied under my teaching until the age of twenty-five, when he overthrew my leadership and took control of the foot clan."

"I know all that," I reminded him. "Tell me what I _don't _know."

He sighed. "What do you want me to tell you, Leonardo?"

"Why him?" I demanded. "If he was only twenty-five, surely there were more advanced students."

"_Hai_, but none better. None could defeat him in a challenge."

"There was no other reason?"

He sighed deeply. "What more reason would one need, Leonardo?"

"Did you do anything to him? To make him hate you?"

He hesitated. "The fact that I was in authority over him was reason enough."

I looked away, relieved by his words. My biggest fear was laid to rest- that Yoshi may have somehow provoked his own exile. As I considered that thought, I felt shame wash over me. How could I even think something like that? But I knew the answer. When one didn't know what to think, what to feel, what to believe, the mind could think up the craziest explanations for things one didn't understand. I pushed all of those thoughts aside, determined never to consider them again.

Finally, I looked back up at him. There was still one thing that rested heavy on my mind. One thing that bothered me to such an extent that I didn't fully understand it. "_Sensei_, why did you train us the way you did? Why did you raise us like that?"

"For your protection," he answered. "Against a world that I knew would never accept you."

"Were you trying to replace him?"

The words came out of my mouth before I could think of a better way to phrase them. Master Splinter froze, and I knew the answer before he spoke it. I knew before he opened his mouth that he wouldn't give me a straight answer. Because the truth would hurt, and he knew it. I could see a nervous tension sweep over him and dread filled me. _Why?_ I asked myself. _What if he was, Leo? Why does it bother you so much? _I didn't know, but it did.

"In what way, my son?"

Maybe it was the fact that if it was true, then I was forever being compared to him. To a student who may have been much better than me in form and in technique. I knew Shredder was, because he could take on all four of us. And Splinter knew that, too. 

"In _any _way," I answered. I could hear my tone change as anger flared up inside of me. I had thought that I'd forced it into submission, but now it appeared as if there was still some of it that was not in check. "Is it because he failed you, so now you're trying again? Is that what this is all about? My whole life is about replacing your long lost student? My whole life being compared to my enemy?"

"Not compared, Leonardo," he sighed.

"Not compared?" I challenged, my voice raising. "I spend my whole life trying to live up to your expectations, when they were set for somebody who was and is better than me!"

Fire flashed in his eyes. "Do not speak that way," he ordered harshly.

"He _betrayed _you, dammit!" I yelled. "And _I'm _the one who kneels here and calls you '_sensei_' and now I have to find out that you still _mourn _him?"

"Leonardo!"

His tone silenced me. I stared at him for a moment, my teeth clenched in anger. Then I lowered my eyes. There was a great deal more that I wanted to say. More that I _had _to say, to find a way to explain these emotions that were burning inside of me. I breathed hard and closed my eyes, waiting for the anger to subside. He said nothing, and I felt tears burn at the backs of my eyes. They spilled onto my cheeks as the tension slowly eased from my body. I looked up again and saw him watching me.

"_Sensei_," I started quietly, not entirely sure how to word my next sentence. "You've lied to me. You've used me. And I think I understand why. But please..." I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. "Be honest with me now."

"Ask me then," he answered sternly. "But I will not have you comparing yourself to Oroku Saki."

"Is that not allowable for me? And yet you've done it all this time? Please." I bowed low, stopping him from speaking. "Please just tell me honestly. You said you made a choice to be Splinter, when the price of regaining your humanity would've been our lives. But even at that point, if you had been changed back, you would've been left with nothing. You could never regain the life that you had, and you knew that." I raised my eyes to his. "But if you could go back. To before any of this happened. With your students in Japan, and whatever life you possessed there. If you could see into the future, would you do things differently?"

He closed his eyes, playing over the scenario in his mind. For a long time, he didn't answer. I waited, watching him. Finally, he looked back at me. "No."

"No?"

He shook his head. "No."

I bowed my head as I felt tears flood my eyes. That answer was honest, and I knew it. A million questions still raged in my mind, but I didn't care. The heart of the problem had been exposed and mended, and I realized that it had run much deeper than I had thought it did. 

"Leonardo, look at me."

I raised my eyes slowly and saw a look of concern written on his face. "You were never a replacement for Saki," he informed me. "None of you were. I raised you like sons and it was _you _who decided to pursue the martial arts. I did not make that decision for you. Had you chosen not to purse them, I would have loved you no less. My acceptance for you is not conditional upon your performance. It never has been."

I breathed deeply and bowed my head again, willing the tears to stop. "It pains me to hear you compare yourself to my enemy, Leonardo," he whispered. "Especially since you speak of him as if he has attained a goal which you cannot. What goal is that, Leonardo? My acceptance? My favor? You have had that all your life. Is it his level of skill which is greater? My son, I have taught you everything I know, which is no less than what I taught him. He has more experience because he has more years, but that does not mean that you cannot defeat him."

He was silent for a moment, and I swallowed hard. "He was your son."

"He told you that."

Neither of us spoke in a question, though we both expected a response. I nodded slowly. "What did he mean?" 

I looked up again. "That I raised him." I cringed at the words, though I somehow had known to expect them. "That the reason why he was my best student was because I taught him from the time he was small."

I sighed. "You never told us that."

"There are many things I have never told you, Leonardo," he answered. "And many things which I _will _never tell you unless there is a legitimate reason why it is needed."

There was a long silence. "Why wouldn't he fight me?" I asked. "Why did he go through the trouble to kidnap Anna and take her there if he didn't even want to fight us? He _wouldn't _fight. He probably could've killed me, but he didn't."

"Many times, Leonardo, a greater battle is fought in the mind than in the body."

I shook my head. "I don't understand."

"You must understand that it is trust that binds this family together, Leonardo. And once that trust is shattered, we will destroy ourselves." I looked away, still confused. He sighed. "Oroku Saki knows that he cannot defeat me. But he knows my weakness, and that is in you. To destroy my weakness would gain him nothing. But to use it against me would accomplish a goal that he has sought his entire life to acheive."

"Fine," I granted. "I understand that. But why go through all of this trouble with Anna?" I looked up at him again. "Master, he _wanted _to kill her. He killed hundreds of people, _children_, to find her and when he did, he let her go without a fight. Why? I don't understand."

"Perhaps when he saw that her relation to me had potential to become active, she became more valuable alive than dead. She has the same worth in his eyes that you do. And that is a much stronger blow than to simply kill a child I knew nothing of."

"But what good does it do to just hand her back to us?"

"He did not return her without first scarring your emotions, and mine."

I hung my head again. "Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?" I sighed. "He _could _have done that. He probably could've killed me, too."

Splinter sighed. "In killing you, he would have lost the greatest connection between me and my daughter. The one that will lead to a future relationship that he hopes to destroy."

I was beginning to get frustrated. "Then why do _anything_?" I demanded. "Why not just _wait_ and give it time?"

"Because it takes time for a seed of bitterness and distrust to grow. Especially in the heart of a faithful student."

His words hit me like a ton of bricks, and suddenly, I understood. Suddenly, I realized just how deeply this attack had wounded me, and I hadn't even known that I was _being _attacked, and in turn relaying that action to Master Splinter. He wanted to turn me against my _sensei_. Splinter was probably right about why he hadn't killed Anna once he realized that we knew her. My voice trailed off as I contemplated the words. He wanted to make me like him. Shame washed over me as I realized how like him I had been ever since my conversation with Anna. I hung my head. 

"I'm so sorry, Master," I choked as the guilt hit me all at once. How could I not have seen? Moreover, how could I have allowed myself to act that way? Shredder had not been the one to tell me of Anna's relation to my _sensei_. The resulting anger of that revelation had come from only me. He'd only known that, and seen that I was weak. I didn't know or care how. He'd used my moment of weakness against me, which was not nearly so humiliating as how weak I had actually been.

Splinter did not answer for a long time. Then, finally, I felt his hand on the top of my head. "You are forgiven."

There was another silence, and I closed my eyes, emotion flooding through me. "Leonardo?" 

I turned, slightly surprised by the voice, and looked over my shoulder. Anna stood in the doorway, wringing her hands. I held my hand out to her, but said nothing. She approached quickly and bowed as she knelt before her father. For a moment, I wondered if she was truly the only biological child he had. I pushed the thought aside. It didn't matter.

"I... came to talk to you," Anna started hesitantly. "I take it that you already know? Who I am?"

Splinter smiled. "I knew who you were from the moment I saw you, Anna," he informed her.

That was no great surprise to me, but Anna's eyes widened. "You did?" she asked, awestruck. "But... why didn't you say anything?"

He sighed deeply. "Each one of us has a responsibility to discover our destiny," he explained. "I have found mine as Splinter, and Hamato Yoshi is no more."

I smiled faintly, remembering those exact words from my childhood. She did not answer for a long time, her eyes trained on his. "Yes," she finally agreed. "But you are still my father."

He did not argue that point. "Come here, child."

I backed away slightly as she crawled closer to him and bowed her head again. He reached under her chin and raised her eyes to his. "You do look so much like your mother," he whispered.

I saw her smile, and in the faint light, it looked as if she blushed slightly. "Thank you."

He smiled in return and reached one hand up to gently brush her hair behind her ear. Then he turned to me, gesturing for me to come closer. I approached him, and heard a noise from the doorway. I did not care, and it didn't seem to phase Master Splinter. He took my hand and Anna's, and placed them together. My eyes were drawn to her, and I suddenly forgot that anything else in the world could exist outside of her beautiful, dark eyes. 

"Consider this," Splinter whispered, "a father's consent, on _both _sides."

I watched Anna closely, suddenly unable to form words and unable to break away. "You said a committment," I reminded her.

She nodded. 

"How much of a committment are you willing to make?"

She stared at me silently for a moment, then smiled. "Try me," she finally answered.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Anna," I whispered, afraid I might choke on the words. In another universe, my brothers were watching me. I could feel their eyes on me, but I didn't care.

"No matter what happens," I continued. "Where we go or what we do... I'll always love you. I'll always protect you. And I'll defend your honor to my dying breath."

Tears had formed in Anna's eyes. She studied me for a moment, smiling faintly and unable to speak. She bowed her head for a moment. "I'll be with you, Leo," she breathed, looking back up slowly. "I want to be with you. Forever." She choked on her voice and paused for a moment. "I'll love you forever... and respect you... and cherish every moment we have together 'til death do us part."

"Go then with my blessing," Splinter consented, "as husband and wife."

"Kiss the bride, Leo!" Michaelangelo called, adding an air of light humor to the seriousness.

I wrapped his arms around Anna, embraced her, and kissed her deeply. My brothers cheered. Anna blushed as she pulled away and glanced around the room at them. She bowed her head, laughing slightly. 

"Anna?" I whispered.

She turned her eyes to me and I smiled at her. I didn't have to say a word. She smiled back and nodded. Without so much as a word to my brothers, I stood and pulled her to her feet, then led her past my brothers and into my room.

***

Oroku Saki still lives. The August 28th bombing of the orphanage is still an unsolved mystery to the police, as are the other fires and bombings, which have been attributed to a strange, gang related crime wave. In a way, it leaves an unresolved feeling inside of me. The murderer who took the lives of those thirty-eight children still lives comfortably, still plagues our existance. But I have to wonder if he'll ever really be gone. He has a protégé, I'm sure. A student, or perhaps a group of them. Just like Splinter. It's a never-ending battle, really. And it will be passed down through the generations. Oroku versus Hamato, as it has been for more years than I can count.

I never told my brothers what Splinter had told me. He never spoke of it again. He died the next winter of pneumonia, taking all the truth of Hamato Yoshi's life with him. I didn't mind that there were things I'd never found the courage to ask him. 

On his deathbed he told me that the answer to every question lies in one's self. I haven't quite figured out what he meant by that, but I suppose it's just as well. He always did have a way of making me re-evaluate my way of thinking...


	52. Epilogue

****

EPILOGUE

October, 1985

_He lay silent on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. In another room, four children, mutated like himself, were sleeping. No, they were not asleep. He could hear them talking quietly, though he had no will to try and make out their words. It had been a long day. He was tired._

It seemed strange to him. He had never thought that at nearly sixty years of age, he would be a surrogate father of four. He was in remarkable shape for his age, but they were so full of energy that he found it nearly impossible to keep up with them. Their youth reminded him of his age, and he was alarmed by what he saw.

He was eternally grateful for the electricity that he'd managed to supply the lair with. Without it, there would be no television and there would be no telling what kind of mischief his four sons might get into. It often seemed that the television schooled them more than he did. But that was okay. It had taught them English, and American culture, which he was sure would be invaluable to them later in life. For years, he'd spoken only Japanese to them, and it resulted in their bilingual abilities. Then he, too, had studied that television, once he realized that amongst themselves they had a language that he did not understand. When fights broke out in that language, there was no way for him to mediate.

Fights were constant. Well, not fights, really. But they quarreled frequently, as brothers do. And locked in these rooms, with no escape and no outlet for their pent-up energy, tensions ran high. It had been seven years since their transformation, and they had seen very little outside of the lair.

His recent encounter with Oroku Saki rested heavy on his mind. Saki had vowed to not let him rest. Not him, nor his students, nor his children's children. Students. A part of him knew his destiny, and the destiny of the four mutated children in the nearby room. But a part of him hated it. He was tired, and older than he cared to admit. He had no desire to begin training the four of them. How much could he possibly teach them in the few years he had left? It was true that he may live for another two or three decades. But his energy would certainly not improve during that time.

He could feel indignant anger burn as he considered his enemy. Though he was just as well-trained as he had been at his peak, his strength and energy was no match for Saki's, who was a full twenty years younger. He would not likely defeat him now. And unless he decided to teach his young wards what he knew, his legacy would die with him. And Saki would win. The thought infuriated him.

He listened hard, and heard nothing. They had fallen asleep. He stood and left his room. Moving silently, he walked to the open door and looked in at where the four of them slept on twin bunk beds. This was their lives _he was talking about, and he knew it. _Ninjutsu _was not something that one could decide not to pursue later in life. It would become a part of them, whether they liked it or not. He wasn't entirely sure he could make that decision for them._

"Sensei_?"_

His eyes darted to one of the mattresses, where a young turtle sat up. He had not been fully asleep. Lost in his thoughts, Splinter had not noticed. "Hai_, Leonardo?"_

"Is something wrong? You look sad."

Splinter smiled in spite of himself and stepped into the room. He sat down on the edge of the bed and Leonardo tucked his legs underneath him. "I am not sad, my son," Splinter whispered. "I am thinking. Very hard."

"About what?"

"About you," he answered quietly. "And your brothers. And what may become of you."

"What do you mean, Sensei_?"_

The older man smiled faintly. "When I was young," he began quietly, "my father sent me to a special school. It took every penny he had to send me there."

"What did you learn?" Leonardo asked. "Was it things like you teach us?"

Splinter hesitated. "Things that... I may teach you. Things that I studied my entire life, that I could never stop studying."

"Why not?"

He tried to think of a simple explanation. "Because they became a part of me. As they would become a part of you, if I were to teach you."

Leonardo thought about that for a moment, and smiled. "I like learning from you, Master Splinter. I want you to teach me things."

Splinter smiled faintly. "We will see, Leonardo," he whispered. "We will see."

****

Okay, people, listen up. My next book will NOT be under my name because it was co-written and since much of it was my co-writer's idea, it's going under her name. So look for "Where are You" posted under the name Danger Incarnate. It should be up very soon because it's already done. Hope you all enjoyed this book! -sss979


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